speedz99 145 Posted October 20, 2005 Share Posted October 20, 2005 So I went to the casino for the first time in a few months last night. A few quick highlights before I get to my point:-I got almost no cards, probably played 10% of hands...and only one one hand at showdown on probably the loosest table I have ever seen. That was my only big pot, the rest I got were just by being aggressive. I ended up $1 and extremely frustrated.-I like Captain and Cokes-People from England are usually either really funny or really dull...or at least the two Brits at my table followed those rulesSorry, that was pretty boring. Anyways, I took my $1 of profit to the cashier's cage, and as I got there the table right next to where I was standing hit the bad beat jackpot for $17k. The table was full of all guys between the ages of 21 and 50 (eight white guys and one black guy). Here is what transpired...1. A few of them standup after the turn, realizing that the jackpot might be coming.2. The cards are shown, and the jackpot has been hit.3. Seat 5 screams, "YYYYYYYYYYES!!"...and his voice cracks in the middle, so the "ES" sounds like it is coming from a 12 year old girl.4. Seat 3 and Seat 7 were the ones in the hand, and they try to high-five...but their arms are too short to reach. Seat 3 falls on Seat 4, who tries to lean back to get Seat 3's armpit out of his face. 5. Seat 6 decided to be a gentleman and complete the high five with Seat 3...who is still partially suffocating Seat 4. 6. Seats 3, 6, and 7 finally reach each other for the triple high-five, a seldom seen move...and they all whiff. I kid you not, I could feel the breeze fifteen feet away.7. Seat 9 (about 50yrs old) finally realizes what is going on and decides to yell out, "YYYYYYAAAARRRRRR"...I didn't realize we had pirates in Arizona.8. Seat 2 high-fives Seat 3, 4, and 5...then turns to give Seat 1 a fist-pound...you guessed it, Seat 1 was the black guy. Apparently Seat 2 does not think high-fiving is cool enough for a black dude. I'm pretty sure I saw Seat 1 sigh before giving in to the well-intentioned soul pound.9. Believe it or not, this is when it gets even more awkward. The next thirty seconds consists of them all standing around the table, making random celebratory sounds at uncomfortably long intervals. The occasional missed high-five is in the mix also.10. It all comes to a chilling conclusion when the floor is getting everyone's name for payment. Seat 3 catches Seat 7's eye, and they walk towards each other. 3's hand goes out for the shake...7 goes in for the hug...3 moves the hand out of the way so they can hug...7 pulls back from the hug to catch 3's hand which has already been moved...3 shoots his hand back down...their fingertips are painfully close when the hug is initiated...but they are so worries about their hands that they haven't leaned to opposite sides for the hug, so now they are doing the Icky Shuffle, trying to figure out whose head goes where in this hug/handshake mess...At this point I turned away in disgust to collect my $121...and gave away my one dollar in profit to the cashier as a tip. I figure if she has to watch scenes like that every day, she deserves it more than I do.Speedz Link to post Share on other sites
kers2 0 Posted October 20, 2005 Share Posted October 20, 2005 Best trip report ever. I'd pay money for video Link to post Share on other sites
DILLIGAF 0 Posted October 20, 2005 Share Posted October 20, 2005 Hilarious. Link to post Share on other sites
RhinestoneCowboy 2 Posted October 20, 2005 Share Posted October 20, 2005 That story just improved my day. I thank you greatly. Link to post Share on other sites
Allie 0 Posted October 20, 2005 Share Posted October 20, 2005 Omg....great story speedz. I laughed my ass off. Link to post Share on other sites
bmwguy525 0 Posted October 20, 2005 Share Posted October 20, 2005 HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA Link to post Share on other sites
Kendren 1 Posted October 20, 2005 Share Posted October 20, 2005 Coming soon from Fox Searchlight:"White Men Can't Celebrate"Starring such graceful actors as:Brad Garrett as "seat 3"Kevin James as "Seat 7"Cuba Gooding Jr. As "Seat 1"With sepcial appearances byDon Knotts as "Old Pirate Guy"and Jerry Lewis as "Pit Boss"Coming Soon!Good story Link to post Share on other sites
PotDragon 0 Posted October 20, 2005 Share Posted October 20, 2005 Great story...I can almost picture it in my mind. Kinda like watching fat, middle aged white dudes celebrate on the golf course !!Well done sir !! Link to post Share on other sites
alf13 0 Posted October 20, 2005 Share Posted October 20, 2005 GREAT STORY!!!!!!!I especially like the fist pound for the black guy.... Link to post Share on other sites
InertGrudge 0 Posted October 20, 2005 Share Posted October 20, 2005 Hahahaha.That made me laugh rather loudly here in the office. I think I scared the staff assistant in front of me. Classic. NH. Link to post Share on other sites
GhostfaceKillah 0 Posted October 20, 2005 Share Posted October 20, 2005 Awesome story dude :clap: Link to post Share on other sites
ckbandit 0 Posted October 20, 2005 Share Posted October 20, 2005 YYYYYAAARRRRRRnh :-) Link to post Share on other sites
Swift_Psycho 1 Posted October 20, 2005 Share Posted October 20, 2005 I thank you greatly. Link to post Share on other sites
Pupsta 0 Posted October 20, 2005 Share Posted October 20, 2005 I thank you greatly. Link to post Share on other sites
speedz99 145 Posted October 20, 2005 Author Share Posted October 20, 2005 Thanks. I'm glad you all enjoyed it. Link to post Share on other sites
FREDDIE MERCURY 0 Posted October 20, 2005 Share Posted October 20, 2005 6. Seats 3, 6, and 7 finally reach each other for the triple high-five, a seldom seen move...and they all whiff. I kid you not, I could feel the breeze fifteen feet away.CRACKER A$$ CRACKERS Link to post Share on other sites
otnemem 0 Posted October 20, 2005 Share Posted October 20, 2005 That is great. It sounds like the pastiest, whitest poker table imaginable. If only a chandelier could have fallen mid-highfive and flattened all of them... Link to post Share on other sites
mrdannyg 274 Posted October 20, 2005 Share Posted October 20, 2005 Thank you sir.Personally, my friends and I train hard on our triple high-fives, and your story exemplified the importance. I'm going to call for an extra-long practice tomorrow. Link to post Share on other sites
powerpoker 0 Posted October 20, 2005 Share Posted October 20, 2005 thank you for such a great story...."soul" pound for the black guy...hilarious....im still laughin as i type this response Link to post Share on other sites
Royal_Tour 0 Posted October 20, 2005 Share Posted October 20, 2005 Coming soon from Fox Searchlight:"White Men Can't Celebrate"Starring such graceful actors as:Brad Garrett as "seat 3"Kevin James as "Seat 7"Cuba Gooding Jr. As "Seat 1"With sepcial appearances byDon Knotts as "Old Pirate Guy"and Jerry Lewis as "Pit Boss"Coming Soon!Good story hahaha nice.. great follow up to a great post.speeds, u sir are a funny guyyyyy.. hey .. U the fuck you man right?.. you suck my dick, u motha fucker Link to post Share on other sites
dna4ever 2 Posted October 20, 2005 Share Posted October 20, 2005 :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: Link to post Share on other sites
missIdaho 1 Posted October 20, 2005 Share Posted October 20, 2005 Awesome story dude :clap: Link to post Share on other sites
Wingmaster05 0 Posted October 20, 2005 Share Posted October 20, 2005 thank you for such a great story...."soul" pound for the black guy...hilarious....im still laughin as i type this response   yeah it was definitely the reluctant fist pound that got me onto the ground. Link to post Share on other sites
Crack User 0 Posted October 20, 2005 Share Posted October 20, 2005 hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah nice story my arizona brother and the funniest part is i saw it too you teh tall skinny white dude that was at the cage? kinda gangly and stuffya i saw it god it was funny espeically the older guy hew Link to post Share on other sites
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