76 replies to this topic

[speedz99]

So I went to the casino for the first time in a few months last night. A few quick highlights before I get to my point:-I got almost no cards, probably played 10% of hands...and only one one hand at showdown on probably the loosest table I have ever seen. That was my only big pot, the rest I got were just by being aggressive. I ended up $1 and extremely frustrated.-I like Captain and Cokes-People from England are usually either really funny or really dull...or at least the two Brits at my table followed those rulesSorry, that was pretty boring. Anyways, I took my $1 of profit to the cashier's cage, and as I got there the table right next to where I was standing hit the bad beat jackpot for $17k. The table was full of all guys between the ages of 21 and 50 (eight white guys and one black guy). Here is what transpired...1. A few of them standup after the turn, realizing that the jackpot might be coming.2. The cards are shown, and the jackpot has been hit.3. Seat 5 screams, "YYYYYYYYYYES!!"...and his voice cracks in the middle, so the "ES" sounds like it is coming from a 12 year old girl.4. Seat 3 and Seat 7 were the ones in the hand, and they try to high-five...but their arms are too short to reach. Seat 3 falls on Seat 4, who tries to lean back to get Seat 3's armpit out of his face. 5. Seat 6 decided to be a gentleman and complete the high five with Seat 3...who is still partially suffocating Seat 4. 6. Seats 3, 6, and 7 finally reach each other for the triple high-five, a seldom seen move...and they all whiff. I kid you not, I could feel the breeze fifteen feet away.7. Seat 9 (about 50yrs old) finally realizes what is going on and decides to yell out, "YYYYYYAAAARRRRRR"...I didn't realize we had pirates in Arizona.8. Seat 2 high-fives Seat 3, 4, and 5...then turns to give Seat 1 a fist-pound...you guessed it, Seat 1 was the black guy. Apparently Seat 2 does not think high-fiving is cool enough for a black dude. I'm pretty sure I saw Seat 1 sigh before giving in to the well-intentioned soul pound.9. Believe it or not, this is when it gets even more awkward. The next thirty seconds consists of them all standing around the table, making random celebratory sounds at uncomfortably long intervals. The occasional missed high-five is in the mix also.10. It all comes to a chilling conclusion when the floor is getting everyone's name for payment. Seat 3 catches Seat 7's eye, and they walk towards each other. 3's hand goes out for the shake...7 goes in for the hug...3 moves the hand out of the way so they can hug...7 pulls back from the hug to catch 3's hand which has already been moved...3 shoots his hand back down...their fingertips are painfully close when the hug is initiated...but they are so worries about their hands that they haven't leaned to opposite sides for the hug, so now they are doing the Icky Shuffle, trying to figure out whose head goes where in this hug/handshake mess...At this point I turned away in disgust to collect my $121...and gave away my one dollar in profit to the cashier as a tip. I figure if she has to watch scenes like that every day, she deserves it more than I do.Speedz

[kers2]

Best trip report ever. I'd pay money for video

[DILLIGAF]

Hilarious.

[RhinestoneCowboy]

That story just improved my day. I thank you greatly.

[Allie]

Omg....great story speedz. I laughed my ass off.

[bmwguy525]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA

[Kendren]

Coming soon from Fox Searchlight:"White Men Can't Celebrate"Starring such graceful actors as:Brad Garrett as "seat 3"Kevin James as "Seat 7"Cuba Gooding Jr. As "Seat 1"With sepcial appearances byDon Knotts as "Old Pirate Guy"and Jerry Lewis as "Pit Boss"Coming Soon!Good story

[PotDragon]

Great story...I can almost picture it in my mind. Kinda like watching fat, middle aged white dudes celebrate on the golf course !!Well done sir !!

[alf13]

GREAT STORY!!!!!!!I especially like the fist pound for the black guy....

[InertGrudge]

Hahahaha.That made me laugh rather loudly here in the office. I think I scared the staff assistant in front of me. Classic. NH.

[GhostfaceKillah]

Awesome story dude :clap:

[ckbandit]

YYYYYAAARRRRRRnh :-)

[Swift_Psycho]

RhinestoneCowboy said:

I thank you greatly.

[Pupsta]

Swift_Psycho said:

RhinestoneCowboy said:

I thank you greatly.

[speedz99]

Thanks. I'm glad you all enjoyed it.

[FREDDIE MERCURY]

6. Seats 3, 6, and 7 finally reach each other for the triple high-five, a seldom seen move...and they all whiff. I kid you not, I could feel the breeze fifteen feet away.CRACKER A$$ CRACKERS

[otnemem]

That is great. It sounds like the pastiest, whitest poker table imaginable. If only a chandelier could have fallen mid-highfive and flattened all of them...

[mrdannyg]

Thank you sir.Personally, my friends and I train hard on our triple high-fives, and your story exemplified the importance. I'm going to call for an extra-long practice tomorrow.

[powerpoker]

thank you for such a great story...."soul" pound for the black guy...hilarious....im still laughin as i type this response

[Royal_Tour]

Kendren said:

Coming soon from Fox Searchlight:"White Men Can't Celebrate"Starring such graceful actors as:Brad Garrett as "seat 3"Kevin James as "Seat 7"Cuba Gooding Jr. As "Seat 1"With sepcial appearances byDon Knotts as "Old Pirate Guy"and Jerry Lewis as "Pit Boss"Coming Soon!Good story

hahaha nice.. great follow up to a great post.speeds, u sir are a funny guyyyyy.. hey .. U the fuck you man right?.. you suck my dick, u motha fucker