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The Sick Thread - Poetry Edition


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#1 The Opulent Gentleman

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Posted 24 May 2017 - 11:24 AM

So I told my boss I had to stay home
because I was having some plummers come and fix

my apartment.


I would have said I was sick, but I exausted that excuse

last month.


Anyway, long story short,
I'm being useless from home today.
Come celebrate my

laziness

in with me!

I'll be watching tv in my underwear.

Right now I'm watching this infomercial for the Magic Bullet.
Anybody else seen this thing?
It's amazing!

Edit:

I think I should let you all know that I'm not wearing a shirt

or

pants

today.

Just putting it out

there.

#2 The Opulent Gentleman

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Posted 24 May 2017 - 11:24 AM

This is the dumbest thing I've ever done.
Bob.
Please Delete.

#3 brvheart

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Posted 25 May 2017 - 07:05 AM

Don't you dare, Bob.

View PostiZuma, on 20 August 2012 - 11:32 AM, said:

napa I was jesus christing suited, you guys just slipped in before me.

View PostEssay21, on 25 February 2013 - 08:32 PM, said:

.

#4 Essay21

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Posted 25 May 2017 - 08:31 AM

What a hack. Poetry rhymes, bro.

#5 The Opulent Gentleman

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Posted 25 May 2017 - 09:00 AM

My Only Option

Well

I like round tables cause I hate trying to deal from one end
of a hold em table to another

And, yeah
the folding legs are the main downfall
but I can't find any tables like this without folding legs

so it seems like



my only option

#6 Essay21

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Posted 25 May 2017 - 10:17 AM

MOOOO HISSSSSSS

#7 The Opulent Gentleman

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Posted 26 May 2017 - 06:49 AM

An Accidental Flinch

Okay but here's what I don't get
On your head
you have a solid surface
It doesn't move

it doesn't change shape


Not so much the case with your scrotal sac
One accidental flinch


and you have 18 3/4 blades of pure titanium scraping across skin
that is paper thin
and without a real permanent shape

Scaaaaaaaaary

#8 SuitedAces21

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Posted 26 May 2017 - 03:38 PM

her eyes were cold and restless
his wounds have almost healed
and she'd give half of texas
just to change the way he feels

she knows his loves in tulsa
and she knows he's gonna go
well it aint no woman, flesh and blood
it's that damned old rodeo

well its bulls and blood
its dust and mud
it's the roar of the sunday crowd
it's the white in his knockles
the gold in the buckle

he'll win the next go round
Spoiler

#9 Spademan

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Posted 26 May 2017 - 10:37 PM

I drink
and drink
and drink

not often
but enough


and still








you fucking people







i drink infrequently these days


but when i do

i drink




still not enough

to dumb me down




..................................................................................... which is the point




to dumb me down







enough







to tolerate
you god damn people
'"Luck" is people taking the laws of probability personally; Luck is the excitement of bad math.'

#10 BigDMcGee

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Posted 26 May 2017 - 11:56 PM

THERE ONCE WAS A MAN FROM NANTUCKET

WHO'S DCK WAS SO LONG HE COULD SUCK IT

HE SAID WITH A GRIN, AS HE WIPED OFF HIS CHIN

IF MY EAR WAS A (UNT I WOULD FU(K IT
"We are only wise in knowing that we know nothing"
-Socrates

"Dust. Wind. Dude."
-Ted Theodore Logan

"I'm a basketball player and a businessman, not a Thundercat,"
-Lebron James

#11 The Opulent Gentleman

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Posted 27 May 2017 - 05:13 AM

A countably infinite number of demerits for all of you for not understanding what this thread is. The only reason I'm assigning a countably infinite, and not uncountable, is because your original poetry is really good. It's just not welcome here.

#12 SuitedAces21

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Posted 27 May 2017 - 05:47 AM

that's a demerit for you for trying to hand out demerits.
Spoiler

#13 The Opulent Gentleman

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Posted 27 May 2017 - 07:04 AM

I don't think you want to go to war with me. The only one who can stand up to a bully like you is a bully like you, and I'm probably you.

#14 SuitedAces21

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Posted 27 May 2017 - 07:21 AM

if you were me and i were you
then what's a forum left to do?

all the talent in one place
winning every single race

loving long and hard and true
if you were me and i were you
then what's a forum left to do?

all will bow before the king
kneeling down to kiss his ring
submitting to his iron will
not one drop of blood shall spill

for the once and future king is here
and there is nothing left to fear
Spoiler

#15 brvheart

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Posted 30 May 2017 - 04:44 AM

View PostThe Opulent Gentleman, on 27 May 2017 - 07:04 AM, said:

I don't think you want to go to war with me. The only one who can stand up to a bully like you is a bully like you, and I'm probably you.

haha

View PostiZuma, on 20 August 2012 - 11:32 AM, said:

napa I was jesus christing suited, you guys just slipped in before me.

View PostEssay21, on 25 February 2013 - 08:32 PM, said:

.

#16 The Opulent Gentleman

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Posted 30 May 2017 - 12:46 PM

Then I Realized

Then I realized
that nobody here even wanted me here

Remembering Napa's collage of posts
wondering where I was when I was in the hospital
one thing that jumped out at me
was some comment about being too dumb

or whatever

to even care or notice
I was being Jeepstered for the longest time

Brvy claims to be


the godly one




but was probably the biggest ass to me of anyone
until recently

Napa goes from being a dick to not a dick constantly
then theres Thera and hank....
Cobalt seems cool and SA,
while I wanted to believe we were cool
I think he just fell on the thread sword to be nice to me

to keep me around


and the thread somewhat alive
since I added some

content at least





So finally

after how every many years

I have taken the hint

that I'm not welcome


and will not be posting



going forward.



Good luck Napa

moves like that are good for the soul
SA, get the hell out of the apartment
and have a life man
Thera, burn in hell
Hank, good luck with the blonde
Ron, keep on keeping on



Best to your wife and dogs


Cobalt, congrats on the healthy kids

and marriage, Run good


Brvy keep up the Sunday Christian gig


it fits you well




asshat

#17 brvheart

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Posted 30 May 2017 - 03:21 PM

That still stings, but it definitely belongs here.

View PostiZuma, on 20 August 2012 - 11:32 AM, said:

napa I was jesus christing suited, you guys just slipped in before me.

View PostEssay21, on 25 February 2013 - 08:32 PM, said:

.

#18 Spademan

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Posted 09 June 2017 - 11:46 PM

"Don't cast your pearls before swine", they said.

Yet here I am.
'"Luck" is people taking the laws of probability personally; Luck is the excitement of bad math.'

#19 iZuma

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Posted 09 June 2017 - 11:54 PM

Don't tell me how to live my life.


What the hell did y'all do to tilt? That shits depressing. I love you tilty baby. And I'm actually cool in real life, compared to these folks.

Wanted to use another f word but I don't know how to swear anymore.

#20 The Opulent Gentleman

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Posted 11 June 2017 - 12:37 PM

The Yawning Abyss of Sadness


should I waste my time

updating my myspace page

just for the hopes



that some of you
would wanna be


friends?




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