Jump to content


Recently Overheard


  • Please log in to reply
12 replies to this topic

#1 phlegm

phlegm

    Poker Forum Veteran

  • Members
  • 1,631 posts

Posted 08 May 2014 - 11:58 AM

Iranian air defense site. "Unknown aircraft, identify yourself.

Aircraft, " I am an american aircraft in Iraqi airspace"

Air defense site. " YOU ARE IN IRANIAN AIRSPACE, DEPART OR WE WILL LAUNCH INTERCEPTOR AIRCRAFT'

Aircraft. I am an american marine f-18 fighter. Send em up Ill wait.

AIR defense site. { Silence].







iF THIS is old, sorry, I just heard it.
I am not an alcoholic

I am a drunk

Alcoholics go to meetings

#2 David_Sklansky

David_Sklansky

    He/Him Pronouns

  • Members
  • 3,172 posts
  • Gender:Not Telling
  • Favorite Poker Game:Holdem, while looking at pornography

Posted 08 May 2014 - 04:00 PM

Gotta be new, it perfectly captures where the public consciousness is right now.
12. When menstruating, use a product that right for your menstrual flow. A tampon too big can irritate and develop fungus. A product left in too long can cause bacteria or fungus build up. Products can be changed at least every 4 hours. Except when sleeping, they can be left in for the night

#3 BigDMcGee

BigDMcGee

    Forum Entitlist

  • Members
  • 26,673 posts
  • Gender:Male

Posted 08 May 2014 - 04:07 PM

I got an AK47 on my face, ho, so you know I don't shot no pistol
"We are only wise in knowing that we know nothing"
-Socrates

"Dust. Wind. Dude."
-Ted Theodore Logan

"I'm a basketball player and a businessman, not a Thundercat,"
-Lebron James

#4 mrdannyg

mrdannyg

    Cheese Salesman

  • Members
  • 20,266 posts
  • Gender:Male

Posted 09 May 2014 - 04:20 AM

My favourite part was interchanging Iran and Iraq.

In all honesty, posts like this do make me think. Are there people I know off the internet who are this stupid? Is there just a pocket of incredibly dumb people using the internet but minimally interacting otherwise with society, or do people just get/look dumb when they are at a keyboard? I mean, I'm no genius, and I know some dumb people, but the depths of uncompromising stupidity can really be astounding. I like to think there's only a few thousand really dumb, really bored people out there, and they account for the huge majority of this type of thing, terrible facebook memes, youtube comments, etc. I guess I have to think that way, since the more likely reality is just depressing.
Long signatures are really annoying.

#5 David_Sklansky

David_Sklansky

    He/Him Pronouns

  • Members
  • 3,172 posts
  • Gender:Not Telling
  • Favorite Poker Game:Holdem, while looking at pornography

Posted 09 May 2014 - 12:26 PM

I read the other day that Saddam admittedly lead the world to believe he had "weapons of mass destruction" to try to keep his insane neighbors at bay, thinking there was no way Americans would actually allow Bush to go full cowboy and and go off the rails like that.

Let's all learn from Saddam's mistake and never overestimate America's understanding of its place in the world.
12. When menstruating, use a product that right for your menstrual flow. A tampon too big can irritate and develop fungus. A product left in too long can cause bacteria or fungus build up. Products can be changed at least every 4 hours. Except when sleeping, they can be left in for the night

#6 BigDMcGee

BigDMcGee

    Forum Entitlist

  • Members
  • 26,673 posts
  • Gender:Male

Posted 09 May 2014 - 02:05 PM

Or, make real weapons of mass destruction so terrifying, the US won't gamble with it, like NOKO did and Iran is trying to do.
"We are only wise in knowing that we know nothing"
-Socrates

"Dust. Wind. Dude."
-Ted Theodore Logan

"I'm a basketball player and a businessman, not a Thundercat,"
-Lebron James

#7 David_Sklansky

David_Sklansky

    He/Him Pronouns

  • Members
  • 3,172 posts
  • Gender:Not Telling
  • Favorite Poker Game:Holdem, while looking at pornography

Posted 09 May 2014 - 05:20 PM

View PostBigDMcGee, on 09 May 2014 - 02:05 PM, said:

Or, make real weapons of mass destruction so terrifying, the US won't gamble with it, like NOKO did and Iran is trying to do.

Yeah, that's the best part about this version of the joke. It worked for Iraq, because the only Americans who are going to die over that shit are poor people's sons. But America backs down from the threat of real weapons, because real weapons could potentially effect us all. I remember at the time thinking it was odd that we had a problem with Iraq's weapons, but not N.Koreas way more deadly weapons.
12. When menstruating, use a product that right for your menstrual flow. A tampon too big can irritate and develop fungus. A product left in too long can cause bacteria or fungus build up. Products can be changed at least every 4 hours. Except when sleeping, they can be left in for the night

#8 BigDMcGee

BigDMcGee

    Forum Entitlist

  • Members
  • 26,673 posts
  • Gender:Male

Posted 09 May 2014 - 05:23 PM

View PostDavid_Sklansky, on 09 May 2014 - 05:20 PM, said:

Yeah, that's the best part about this version of the joke. It worked for Iraq, because the only Americans who are going to die over that shit are poor people's sons. But America backs down from the threat of real weapons, because real weapons could potentially effect us all.

Real weapons couldn't effect us, not really. Iran has no delivery system. But they could effect our paymasters in Israel.
"We are only wise in knowing that we know nothing"
-Socrates

"Dust. Wind. Dude."
-Ted Theodore Logan

"I'm a basketball player and a businessman, not a Thundercat,"
-Lebron James

#9 AmScray

AmScray

    Honk

  • Members
  • 4,005 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Favorite Poker Game:wrhsf235yu

Posted 10 May 2014 - 05:48 PM

North Korea is just dealing with batshit crazy. Keep surpreme leader stocked in Saturday Morrning Cartoons and child brides, he'll stay on the reservation, with occasional displays of bullshit.
Posted Image

#10 David_Sklansky

David_Sklansky

    He/Him Pronouns

  • Members
  • 3,172 posts
  • Gender:Not Telling
  • Favorite Poker Game:Holdem, while looking at pornography

Posted 11 May 2014 - 10:53 AM

View PostAmScray, on 10 May 2014 - 05:48 PM, said:

North Korea is just dealing with batshit crazy. Keep surpreme leader stocked in Saturday Morrning Cartoons and child brides, he'll stay on the reservation, with occasional displays of bullshit.

And gross human rights violations on a scale like no place else. I certainly don't care about those chinamen, but I think it's worth pointing out that we didn't attack Iraq for having dangerous weapons, involvement in terrorism or the way their people were treated.
12. When menstruating, use a product that right for your menstrual flow. A tampon too big can irritate and develop fungus. A product left in too long can cause bacteria or fungus build up. Products can be changed at least every 4 hours. Except when sleeping, they can be left in for the night

#11 AmScray

AmScray

    Honk

  • Members
  • 4,005 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Favorite Poker Game:wrhsf235yu

Posted 11 May 2014 - 11:41 AM

As far as our role as the great saviors, "human rights" has always been a bullshit pretext.

When we have some ancillary interest in play, we usually trot out 'human rights' as being the basis for whatever we do. Remember IRAQI MILITARY MEN PLAYING KICK THE CAN WITH PREMATURE KUWAITI BABIES??? AND WHAT ABOUT THE KURDS! HE GASSED THE KURDS!

Meanwhile, millions of Africans are being killed with farm tools.

Its always been that way. It ultimately boils down to whether or not he's nutty enough to do something that seriously disrupts the apple cart (like, lobbing a nuke into Japan or marching on the South). THEN we will start beating the 'human-rights-something-must-be-done-remember-the-jews' drum but in the meantime, unless they discover light sweet crude in Pyongyang, its not in our sphere of interest.
Posted Image

#12 BigDMcGee

BigDMcGee

    Forum Entitlist

  • Members
  • 26,673 posts
  • Gender:Male

Posted 11 May 2014 - 01:19 PM

Really, NoKo is China's problem
"We are only wise in knowing that we know nothing"
-Socrates

"Dust. Wind. Dude."
-Ted Theodore Logan

"I'm a basketball player and a businessman, not a Thundercat,"
-Lebron James

#13 AmScray

AmScray

    Honk

  • Members
  • 4,005 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Favorite Poker Game:wrhsf235yu

Posted 11 May 2014 - 02:03 PM

I'm annoyed that I missed out on such a strong opportunity to create an aesthetically pleasing pentameter-synergy between "light sweet crude" and "Panmunjom" because I was lazy and didn't think it all the way through.
Posted Image




0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users