7 replies to this topic

[Tactical Bear]

A good while ago -- I want to say October of 2008 (edit: I found the quote and posted the original below) -- I was in a ridiculous and required Information Technology class, and in order to keep myself from flipping out and killing like 200 people, I exchanged notes with the people next to me.

So I was in my 1230 IT class (note: this is a required class for a B-school degree, and it is the worst thing ever; we have had lectures on "The Internet" and "The Monitor" and stuff) (second note: it is currently 12:48, so I am obviously skipping class to tell this story), and the lecturer starting talking about cache memory, so I turned to the kids next to me -- one guy, one girl -- and wrote on a piece of notebook paper:

"Cache Rules Everything Around Me, CREAM, get the memory." The girl looked at me like I was insane (standard and not at all unexpected, but you've got to keep taking your shots), and the guy laughed and nodded, and then made some kind of Wu-Tang gesture. He responded by writing:

"Only Built 4 HyperLinks"

For some reason, on my way to class this morning, I was listening to music -- Porthishead or some other gay shit; most definitely not Wu-Tang -- and all of a sudden that popped into my head. I decided I wanted nothing more than to develop an entire set of alternate CREAM lyrics based on this theme. Unfortunately, I am retarded, and despite my best efforts (id est: reading LOST recaps in the computer lab and trying to figure out what the fuck smells like feet), I can't do it.

So I come to you all. Consider it a community project. I think, if we all work together, we can get a working set done within the week. You don't have to write an entire set; even a single line would be helpful. I'm including the original lyrics in the next post.

[Tactical Bear]

Verse One: Raekwon the Chef

I grew up on the crime side, the New York Times side
Staying alive was no jive
Had second hands, moms bounced on old man
So then we moved to Shaolin land
A young youth, yo rockin the gold tooth, 'Lo goose
Only way, I begin to G' off was drug loot
And let's start it like this son, rollin with this one
And that one, pullin out gats for fun
But it was just a dream for the teen, who was a fiend
Started smokin woolies at sixteen
And running up in gates, and doing hits for high stakes
Making my way on fire escapes
No question I would speed, for cracks and weed
The combination made my eyes bleed
No question I would flow off, and try to get the dough off
Sticking up white boys in ball courts
My life got no better, same damn 'Lo sweater
Times is rough and tough like leather
Figured out I went the wrong route
So I got with a sick tight clique and went all out
Catchin keys from across seas
Rollin in MPV's, every week we made forty G's
Yo brothas respect mine, or anger the tech nine
Ch-POW! Move from the gate now

Chorus (2X): Method Man

Cash Rules Everything Around Me
C.R.E.A.M.
Get the money
Dollar, dollar bill y'all

Verse Two: Inspectah Deck

It's been 22 long hard years and still strugglin
Survival got me buggin, but I'm alive on arrival
I peep at the shape of the streets
And stay awake to the ways of the world cause shit is deep
A man with a dream with plans to make C.R.E.A.M.
Which failed; I went to jail at the age of 15
A young buck sellin drugs and such who never had much
Trying to get a clutch at what I could not touch
The court played me short, now I face incarceration
Pacin', going up state's my destination
Handcuffed in back of a bus, 40 of us
Life as a shorty shouldn't be so rough
But as the world turns I learned life is Hell
Living in the world, no different from a cell
Everyday I escape from Jakes givin chase, sellin base
Smokin bones in the staircase
Though I don't know why I chose to smoke sess
I guess that's the time when I'm not depressed
But I'm still depressed, and I ask what's it worth?
Ready to give up so I seek the Old Earth
Who explained working hard may help you maintain
to learn to overcome the heartaches and pain
We got stickup kids, corrupt cops, and crack rocks
and stray shots, all on the block that stays hot
Leave it up to me while I be living proof
To kick the truth to the young black youth
But shorty's running wild, smokin sess, drinkin beer
And ain't trying to hear what I'm kickin in his ear
Neglected for now, but yo, it gots to be accepted
That what? That life is hected


Chorus -- 3X

Cash Rules Everything Around Me
C.R.E.A.M.
get the money
Dolla dolla bill y'aauhhhaaaauhhhhahhhauhhhhll, YEAH

[JoeyJoJo]

I don't really know what you're talking about, so I'm probably no help here, but I was reading the Book of Basketball the other day when I came across this passage:

Manute Bol's skin was so dark he looked purple.<sup>85



85</sup>Our nation is so uptight these days that some people might consider that racist. Here is my defense. He was fucking purple. I don't know what else to tell you.


It sounded to me like something you would write.

[myenemy]

I woke up on the wrong side, the cum-soaked wet side
Staying dry was tough, guy
Didnt need a hand
In my dreams: mom bounced on old man
A young youth, rockin a buck tooth
I began to J off with glove juice

Is this really the tack you want to get started on though?

[CaneBrain]

I don't really know what you're talking about, so I'm probably no help here, but I was reading the Book of Basketball the other day when I came across this passage:

Manute Bol's skin was so dark he looked purple.<sup>85



85</sup>Our nation is so uptight these days that some people might consider that racist. Here is my defense. He was fucking purple. I don't know what else to tell you.


It sounded to me like something you would write.

I laughed at that footnote for far longer than I should have. There was a magical time when Manute Bol was playing for the West Palm Beach Dogs (CBA I think) and I could go watch a 7 foot 7 guy chuck threes.

[uncooper]

[timwakefield]

That what? That life is hected

I'm pretty sure the actual line is "hectic," especially since hected is not a word.

Anyways, now I've got this in my head too. I'll try and contribute a line or 2 if I think of something good. Also I would just like to point out that this is quite literally the best hip-hop song ever, or at least like top....2. Every time I hear it, having not heard it in awhile, it absolutely blows me away with how perfect it is. Not only are the lyrics great, the chorus monumental, but also the beat is so perfect that it's one of those songs that you can't believe was ever actually composed - it sounds like it's just always existed.

[chrozzo]

Is this really the tack you want to get started on though?

do people give you shit for that avatar like they did me?

nice avatar btw...