Pot Odds RAC, on Tuesday, April 24th, 2012, 10:31 AM, said:
I don't know much about the guy. Seems like a bit of an obscure guy to target as the subject of this sort of project. He isn't exactly deaf, dumb, and blind. But anyone who can wear a jersey with his own name misspelled without noticing might have some promise for ridicule.
He has been continuously starting in the majors since I was a child, and his career OPB is like .310. It's never been as high as .340. And he is not even a slugger; his slugging is like dead-on league average (and this year is under .330). He plays below replacement value. I don't cite dyslexia or his ferret-face **** wife, or his notorious bad attitude as reasons he should be a figure of pity or an avatar of failure, I cite his patience at the plate. I don't think you have to know or hate him to appreciate the beauty of this record. You don't have to be Jewish to love In the Aeroplane over the Sea
, you don't have to be a scene kid to like Lifter Puller or Hold Steady. The moving thing about this powerful artistic statement is that it takes pain that only a few people in the world know -- people who grew up in the south, watch baseball, are full of spite, don't believe in "clutch" magic or "winners," and can do even middle school mathematics -- and it shares these powerful feelings with the world. I want some hippie slut in Portland to feel
how I felt every time he was called "superman" because he hit an RBI, the next night after hitting into a double play to end a game, and while I'm sleeping with her I want her thinking about his incredible jawline and the success it alone earned him. I am thinking Michael Bolton's voice could be perfect for this project.