S) ...but I'm not giving up Christmas...
R) Well, it isn't really 'optional'
S) Agreed. There is no "option" here. I'm not giving up Christmas...
R) I understand that these transitions can be difficult, but there are important reasons why things like Christmas cannot make the transition...
S) Like what? (reaches over, takes Werthers Original candy off desk, eats it)
R) It's the celebration of a Christian holiday. It should be quite self-evident that if you are sincere about this...
S) (cuts off) Look, "sincerity" has nothing to do with it. In this regard, they have you crushed. I mean, totally, totally crushed. What the **** do you offer?
Candles, eight days of shitty gifts, then spinning a stupid top and frantically gathering up little gold coins, basically reaffirming every stereotype there is about you people?
R) (pauses) "We" people...
S) That hasn't been determined yet...
R) Yes, it has.
S) No, it hasn't.
R) Your mother determined that. You had no say in the matter...
S) If I had no say, then why is it that I just took down a Christmas tree?
R) (Puzzled look on face)
S) (reaches over, takes more Werthers Originals off desk) I think we're at an impasse here, Shlomo...
R) My name is Aaron...
0
Nearly Verbatim Snippet From A Random Conversation With A Rabbi...
Started by AmScray, Dec 30 2009 04:04 AM
12 replies to this topic
#1
AmScray
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Posted 30 December 2009 - 04:04 AM
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#2
dna4ever
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Posted 30 December 2009 - 07:03 AM
Verbatim Snippet From a Random Conversation With One of My Best Friends Who Lives On a Farm .....
Z: you need to start a garden
Z: then we would have something to talk about
dna4ever: lol
Z: like gardening
dna4ever: i have a gay guy here at work i can talk about gay shit with if i want
Z: growing and providing food for your family is not gay!
Z: its been done for millions of years
dna4ever: maybe it wasn't gay 100 years ago
dna4ever: but pretty sure it's definitely gay now
Z: i see
dna4ever: and pretty sure millions is a huge exaggeration
Z: well
Z: at whatever point they decided to eat
Z: tractors, plows, tillers and dirt are all manly for sure
dna4ever: you realize you can goto the store and get a whole bag of carrots for like a buck
Z: you need to start a garden
Z: then we would have something to talk about
dna4ever: lol
Z: like gardening
dna4ever: i have a gay guy here at work i can talk about gay shit with if i want
Z: growing and providing food for your family is not gay!
Z: its been done for millions of years
dna4ever: maybe it wasn't gay 100 years ago
dna4ever: but pretty sure it's definitely gay now
Z: i see
dna4ever: and pretty sure millions is a huge exaggeration
Z: well
Z: at whatever point they decided to eat
Z: tractors, plows, tillers and dirt are all manly for sure
dna4ever: you realize you can goto the store and get a whole bag of carrots for like a buck
#3
mrdannyg
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Posted 30 December 2009 - 07:20 AM
QUOTE (dna4ever @ Wednesday, December 30th, 2009, 10:03 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
dna4ever: you realize you can goto the store and get a whole bag of carrots for like a buck
Farmer Head Asplode.
I work very closely with potato farmers...going to have to save that line for when I'm trying to get fired. Nice work.
Long-term bets:
(2) 76'ers to win title @ 31
Webb Simpson to win US Money Title @ 17
Brandt Snedeker to win US Money Title @ 26
(5) Broncos to win the AFC @ 11
(2.5) Broncos to win the SB @ 21
(2) Bears to win SB @ 42
(0.5) Red Sox to lead AL East @ 6.5
(1.5) White Sox to lead AL Central @ 17.25
Indians to lead AL Central @ 15
Nationals to lead NL East @ 9
(0.5) Marlins to lead NL East @ 6
Padres to lead NL West @ 29
(0.5) Rockies to lead NL West @ 6.5
(0.5) Cardinals to win NL @ 9
(2) 76'ers to win title @ 31
Webb Simpson to win US Money Title @ 17
Brandt Snedeker to win US Money Title @ 26
(5) Broncos to win the AFC @ 11
(2.5) Broncos to win the SB @ 21
(2) Bears to win SB @ 42
(0.5) Red Sox to lead AL East @ 6.5
(1.5) White Sox to lead AL Central @ 17.25
Indians to lead AL Central @ 15
Nationals to lead NL East @ 9
(0.5) Marlins to lead NL East @ 6
Padres to lead NL West @ 29
(0.5) Rockies to lead NL West @ 6.5
(0.5) Cardinals to win NL @ 9
#4
Mercury69
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Posted 30 December 2009 - 08:03 AM
Amscray's "conversation" reminded me of the opening of Igby Goes Down
“We had all the momentum. We were riding the crest of a high and beautiful wave. So now, less than five years later, you can go up on a steep hill in Las Vegas and look west, and with the right kind of eyes you can almost see the high-water mark, that place where the wave finally broke and rolled back.” —Raoul Duke, Fear And Loathing In Las Vegas
#5
Balloon guy
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Posted 30 December 2009 - 12:28 PM
QUOTE (dna4ever @ Wednesday, December 30th, 2009, 7:03 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Verbatim Snippet From a Random Conversation With One of My Best Friends Who Lives On a Farm .....
Z: you need to start a garden
Z: then we would have something to talk about
dna4ever: lol
Z: like gardening
dna4ever: i have a gay guy here at work i can talk about gay shit with if i want
Z: growing and providing food for your family is not gay!
Z: its been done for millions of years
dna4ever: maybe it wasn't gay 100 years ago
dna4ever: but pretty sure it's definitely gay now
Z: i see
dna4ever: and pretty sure millions is a huge exaggeration
Z: well
Z: at whatever point they decided to eat
Z: tractors, plows, tillers and dirt are all manly for sure
dna4ever: you realize you can goto the store and get a whole bag of carrots for like a buck
Z: you need to start a garden
Z: then we would have something to talk about
dna4ever: lol
Z: like gardening
dna4ever: i have a gay guy here at work i can talk about gay shit with if i want
Z: growing and providing food for your family is not gay!
Z: its been done for millions of years
dna4ever: maybe it wasn't gay 100 years ago
dna4ever: but pretty sure it's definitely gay now
Z: i see
dna4ever: and pretty sure millions is a huge exaggeration
Z: well
Z: at whatever point they decided to eat
Z: tractors, plows, tillers and dirt are all manly for sure
dna4ever: you realize you can goto the store and get a whole bag of carrots for like a buck
I'll say...
I use my cigar smoke as idiot repellent
"The whole modern world has divided itself into Conservatives and Progressives. The business of Progressives is to go on making mistakes. The business of the Conservatives is to prevent the mistakes from being corrected." G.K. Chesterson 1900
"The whole modern world has divided itself into Conservatives and Progressives. The business of Progressives is to go on making mistakes. The business of the Conservatives is to prevent the mistakes from being corrected." G.K. Chesterson 1900
timwakefield, on 18 April 2012 - 10:38 AM, said:
Things are only rights because the government decides they should be rights.
#6
timwakefield
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Posted 01 January 2010 - 05:07 PM
QUOTE (Balloon guy @ Wednesday, December 30th, 2009, 3:28 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I'll say...
Yeah, he really was off by a factor of like 100. People have been 'growing' food for about 10,000 years.
It's really pretty surprising how much stuff was happening thousands of years before God even created the universe. It's a noodle-scratcher alright.
QUOTE (Balloon guy @ Monday, February 20th, 2012, 1:13 PM)
Hitler was not motivated by hate.
Gervais: What do you worry about, that you've heard on the news?
Pilkington: I heard something about worms getting teeth.
Hitler was not motivated by hate.
Gervais: What do you worry about, that you've heard on the news?
Pilkington: I heard something about worms getting teeth.
#7
BigDMcGee
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Posted 02 January 2010 - 06:22 PM
Hey scram.. A off topic question.. with the popularity of jersey shore now sweeping the nation like a wild fire, I'd like your thoughts on italians in general, and the guido sub-species in particular.
"We are only wise in knowing that we know nothing"
-Socrates
"Dust. Wind. Dude."
-Ted Theodore Logan
SN: BigDMcGee on Stars and UB. I do NOT have a full tilt account because those Richers won't give me rakeback.
#8
hank213
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Posted 02 January 2010 - 09:11 PM
QUOTE (BigDMcGee @ Saturday, January 2nd, 2010, 8:22 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Hey scram.. A off topic question.. with the popularity of jersey shore now sweeping the nation like a wild fire, I'd like your thoughts on italians in general, and the guido sub-species in particular.
Hey BigD, An off topic question: There's a special on TLC tomorrow called "My Giant Head. Are you going to be on tv?
Hank's tenure at Soulsuckers, INC, LLC, DBA TBD, had not been long, but it had been distinguished... By drunkenness, hair-trigger violence, and a total lack of performance. I would call it a steady decline in performance, but that would imply that he performed at one point in time. In fact he had not. He was drunk.
QUOTE (Napa_Don @ Monday, August 15th, 2011, 5:52 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Last week I drink the majority of a twelve pack of light beer out of the cutoff end of a whiffle bat, how's that for cultured, bitches"
#9
BigDMcGee
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Posted 03 January 2010 - 01:27 AM
QUOTE (hank213 @ Saturday, January 2nd, 2010, 11:11 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Hey BigD, An off topic question: There's a special on TLC tomorrow called "My Giant Head. Are you going to be on tv?
Now that's just hurtful, hank.
"We are only wise in knowing that we know nothing"
-Socrates
"Dust. Wind. Dude."
-Ted Theodore Logan
SN: BigDMcGee on Stars and UB. I do NOT have a full tilt account because those Richers won't give me rakeback.
#10
AmScray
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Posted 03 January 2010 - 07:16 PM
QUOTE (BigDMcGee @ Saturday, January 2nd, 2010, 6:22 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Hey scram.. A off topic question.. with the popularity of jersey shore now sweeping the nation like a wild fire, I'd like your thoughts on italians in general, and the guido sub-species in particular.
I'll tell you, but first you have to tell me something.
I want to know the history and backstory of the 2 Live Crew song 'Chesterfield Island".
That song is just way, way too random to not have a story there and I want to know what that story is. Also, it 'sounds old' so I'd like to know if they sampled it from something, or if they actually created it.
I rank it as one of the top 20 greatest songs of all time- there has to be a full, 3 minute version of it somewhere.
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#11
BigDMcGee
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Posted 03 January 2010 - 08:00 PM
I just sent them the question on myspace, and hopefully I'll get an answer. If not, Dan Lebatard often has Luke on as a guest, and if he does a call in show, I'll call in. I'm here for you, scram.
"We are only wise in knowing that we know nothing"
-Socrates
"Dust. Wind. Dude."
-Ted Theodore Logan
SN: BigDMcGee on Stars and UB. I do NOT have a full tilt account because those Richers won't give me rakeback.
#12
AmScray
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Posted 03 January 2010 - 10:25 PM
You do know the song, right?
"THEY ARE THE VERY BEST OF FAGGOTS IN THE USA, GIVING BIG-BIG PLEASURE IN A BIG-BIG WAY"
If you could actually find this out, it would be kinda epic.
"THEY ARE THE VERY BEST OF FAGGOTS IN THE USA, GIVING BIG-BIG PLEASURE IN A BIG-BIG WAY"
If you could actually find this out, it would be kinda epic.
VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVv
#13
BigDMcGee
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Posted 03 January 2010 - 10:38 PM
QUOTE (AmScray @ Monday, January 4th, 2010, 12:25 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
You do know the song, right?
obv
"We are only wise in knowing that we know nothing"
-Socrates
"Dust. Wind. Dude."
-Ted Theodore Logan
SN: BigDMcGee on Stars and UB. I do NOT have a full tilt account because those Richers won't give me rakeback.
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