488 replies to this topic

[Pot Odds RAC]

Begins Tonight!

[savagerebel]

Have we ever ran a pool for this show?

[speedz99]

I like this season's cast so far...seems like there are a bunch of really good cooks. Book tonight's winner and Ripert's girl for the finals.

[runthemover]

I don't see how something is "new" if you've done it before. omg this asian lady is scary looking (top chef masters. gotta turn the tv off. omg. ok). anyway, yea the chick that went home deserved her fate


I thought it was funny that there were two chicks I thought were guys (well at least for half a second) Raj Patel or Preeta or whatever her name is and andy sandberg's cousin. I don't know her name.

I loved that the french guy wore his kerchief the whole time and managed to reminded me of Venture brothers and speedz'sgaylover at the same time.

I agree with speedz that it appears this season is full of hot shots. but we don't like hot shots around here. oh no wait we do. I also agree that gay grizzly adams and clonie gowen are solid choices for the final.

no we have not run (hehe) a pool for this show.

thanks to POR for the thread since I would've not known otherwise.

[El Guapo]

Agree on the thanks, I forget the rename the show every years, so my TiVo does not automatically pick it up from the previous season.

I think the brothers are gonna go deep.

[brvheart]

I want Mike Isabella to die.

[theresa113]

I missed the first half... But I am sure there will be enough repeats this weekend for me to catch up.

[Pot Odds RAC]

I like this year's line-up. Feels a little like a couple of seasons ago when everyone had to swear as much as possible to prove they are "edgy". The correct Chef got let go last night. When she said she was going to cook with Seitan, my wife and I looked at each other and said WTF? When we were veggies we used to eat that stuff all the time as a great source of protein, but to pick it as your protein when you have a COMPLETELY wide open choice and are cooking for your life (or cooking for you child at home *sniff sniff* to send him to Yale or Harvard *boo hoo* - looks like Community College for Junior) is insane. Why do these chefs try and show how "different" they are or need to try and stand out for a choice like that instead of trying to stand out by cooking something great? Plus her neck tats and hyper stretched ear lobe flesh would make me lose my appetite for anything she tried to serve me anyway.

[El Guapo]

What do you guys think the average numbers of tattoos per person are? And how can I get a throat tattoo without puncturing my larynx?

[brvheart]

I really like red-beard. I hope he goes really far.

[El Guapo]

I really like red-beard. I hope he goes really far.

He's Big Big Big and Red Red Red. BIG RED!

[Suited_Up]

That chick who won the quickfire is gonna be a force. aka Ripert's girl.

Looks like it's gonna be a good season though.

[Pot Odds RAC]

That chick who won the quickfire is gonna be a force. aka Ripert's girl.

Looks like it's gonna be a good season though.

I agree. She seems very tough, talented - and likes to drink and regret her actions afterward.

This season's cast seems talented and creative.

[Theraflu]

I have a friend who has worked in a kitchen for a while, and one of his recurring themes is the ever-present booze-baggery that occurs in the line of work. It was fun/sad to see that its very true, as almost everyone had alcohol as some sort of vice.

Decent line of cooks so far, its always hard to pick up on who is good/bad at the beginning with so many people. I am happy I don't have to look at that neck tattoo anymore.

[timwakefield]

Initial impressions:



From L-R.

Top row:

1. She's like a boy that I'm also attracted to.

2. Your vice is that you almost died fleeing your country? Whatever man.

3. Don't remember him at all.

4. Revenge of the cougar.


Second row:

5. I was also impressed by how speedz'sgaylover kept that ridiculous neckerchief on the whole episode. I think he cooked well.

6. One of the brothers, I think.

7. Cocky-guy. Real contender. Also a real contender in the 'worst faux-hawk' contest that they run every season.

8. Seriously, you should have mentioned to your team that you'd never shucked a clam before you started trying to shuck clams. I'll bet she's sucked a clam or two in her life though! Hey-oooooooh! P.S. Definitely Raj Patel. Excellent goddam reference (google edit: Unless you are talking about the actual person, Raj Patel. Apparently he's well-known enough to have a wikipedia page. If it was an Office reference, then I again proclaim its excellence)


Third row:

9. Real contender. Her bitchiness is totally hot. Ripert's girl, right?

10. Real contender. Beardy McBeardface or whatever.

11. I've never understood people who stretch their earlobes. I realize that in certain distant, primitive cultures this is considered beautiful or cool or something. Lady, this isn't goddam Africa. You look ugly.

12. Dark horse.

Bottom Row:

13. Was she even in the episode?

14. He reminds me intensely of some character or something. I think it might even be from a video game, but he looks exactly like this guy. He seems to be a mediocre chef, at least compared to his competitors.

15. Other brother. I've got nothing on him.

16. Unless I am mis-remembering, I was disappointed by him.

17. Oh hell no. I thought earlobes might actually squeak through because this woman's dish was so terrible-looking.



Bottom line: I totally wasn't expecting a new season so soon, and it was an awesome surprise.

I have a friend who has worked in a kitchen for a while, and one of his recurring themes is the ever-present booze-baggery that occurs in the line of work. It was fun/sad to see that its very true, as almost everyone had alcohol as some sort of vice.

Read Kitchen Confidential by Anthony Bourdain.

[Theraflu]

Read Kitchen Confidential by Anthony Bourdain.

That's a god damned good idea. I love Tony, but have never read anything by him.

[theresa113]

14. He reminds me intensely of some character or something. I think it might even be from a video game, but he looks exactly like this guy. He seems to be a mediocre chef, at least compared to his competitors.


Wasn't there a guy who use to post on the forum, Al somebody who had an avatar with a guy who looked like this guy?



Bottom line: I totally wasn't expecting a new season so soon, and it was an awesome surprise.


Neither was I. Hopefully I can catch this episode in its entirety this weekend. I need to get DVR back. When I moved, I forgot to ask for it.

[Suited_Up]

The dude from Deadwood?

[speedz99]

That's a god damned good idea. I love Tony, but have never read anything by him.

You'll love it. Then read A Cook's Tour.

[Pot Odds RAC]

Bourdain wrote a Guest Blog a while ago and rants about some of the TV Chefs...

http://blog.ruhlman.com/ruhlmancom/2007/02..._blogging_.html

NOBODY ASKED ME, BUT……
By Anthony Bourdain

I actually WATCH Food Network now and again, more often than not drawn in by the progressive horrors on screen. I find myself riveted by its awfulness, like watching a multi-car accident in slow motion. Mesmerized at the ascent of the Ready-Made bobblehead personalities, and the not-so-subtle shunting aside of the Old School chefs, I find myself de-constructing the not-terrible shows, imagining behind the scenes struggles and frustrations, and obsessing unhealthily on the Truly Awful ones. Screaming out loud at Sandra Lee in disbelief as she massacres another dish, then sits grinning, her face stretched into a terrifying rictus of faux cheer for the final triumphant presentation. I mourn for Mario..and Alton...Bobby and yes--even Emeril, nobly holding the fort while the TV empire he helped build crumbles like undercooked Bundt cake into a goo of Cheez Wiz around him.

Some thoughts on the Newer, Younger, More Male-Oriented, More Dumb-Ass Food Network:

ALTON BROWN: How did Alton slip inside the wire--and stay there all these years? He must have something on them. He’s smart. You actually learn something from his commentary. And I’ll admit it: I watch and enjoy Iron Chef America-in all its cheesy glory. Absolutely SHOCKED and thrilled when guys like Homaru Cantu show up as contestants--and delighted when Mario wins--again and again, forestalling his secretly long-planned execution. His commentary is mostly good. And that collar-bone snapping fall off the motorcycle on Feasting On Asphalt? Good television!

EMERIL: I’m actually grateful when I channel surf across his show. He’s STILL there--the original Behemoth. And I STILL find him unwatchable. As much mileage as I’ve gotten over the years, making fun of Emeril; he deserves a lot more respect than I’ve given him. He does run a very successful and very decent restaurant group. He is--in fact--a really nice guy. And-as much as I hate the show-- compared to the current crop of culinary non-entities, he looks like Escoffier. He will probably be the last of the Real Chefs. I’m sure they’re growing future replacement options in petrie dishes somewhere, conducting Top Secret focus groups at suburban malls with their latest Bright Young Hopeful. I’m just glad he’s still there--a rebuke to the geniuses who brought us such Great Ideas as Dweezil and Lisa.

BOBBY FLAY: They seem to have noticed Bobby’s strong “negatives” among some viewer responses during focus groups--and decided to respond by subjecting poor Bobby to THROWDOWN; the object of which is to allow every web-fingered geek with a backyard grill--or half-mad muffin maker to proclaim, “I beat Bobby Flay at makin’ barbeque!” at the heart-warming end of show--before returning to tend their meth labs.. I watched poor Bobby battle to a draw recently in some bogus Southwestern “Chili Face-Off.” Now…does ANYONE actually believe that Bobby Flay can’t make a better chili than a supermarket ground beef bearing amateur? I don’t. It’s a cruel exercise in humiliation. A variation on “Dunk Bozo” or “Shoot The Geek,” at the carnival. And whatever I might have thought of Flay’s previous TV efforts, I find the network’s misuse of one of their founding chefs to be nauseatingly cynical. The conspiratorial-minded might be tempted to suspect this as yet another part of the Secret Plan to rid themselves of the annoyingly big ticket chefs--by driving Bobby to quit--or insane with misery. He may not be Mr. Cuddlesworth, but he’s a successful businessman and a good chef--and he doesn’t, after all, need this shit.

MARIO!
Oh, Mario! Oh great one! They shut down Molto Mario--only the smartest and best of the stand-up cooking shows. Is there any more egregiously under-used, criminally mishandled, dismissively treated chef on television? Relegated to the circus of Iron Chef America, where--like a great, toothless lion, fouling his cage, he hangs on--and on--a major draw (and often the only reason to watch the show). How I would like to see him unchained, free to make the television shows he’s capable of, the Real Mario--in all his Rabelasian brilliance. How I would love to hear the snapping bones of his cruel FN ringmasters, crunching between his mighty jaws! Let us see the cloven hooves beneath those cheery clogs! Let Mario be Mario!

THAT ACE OF CAKES GUY: Hey…He’s got talent! And..he seems to be a trained chef! And he’s really making food--and selling it in a real business! I think…I like it! If I have one reservation, it’s that I have no idea if the stuff actually TASTES good. It LOOKS really creative and quirky--and I’m interested but…I mean...it’s like construction going on over there from what we’re told and shown. One suspects that the producers don’t want to waste valuable time talking about anything so technical as food--on “Food” Network. I mean...what’s in those cakes, beneath the icing and marzipan and fondant? That said, it’s the only “kicky, new, cutting edge, in-your-face” hopeful they’ve managed to trot out of any quality in memory. Hope it lasts. Wait till they try and put the poor bastard on a pony--or do a “Tailgate Special” with the usual suspects. Or a “Thanksgiving Special” where he has to sit down with the bobbleheads and pretend to like it. On balance, it’s still probably the best new project they’ve come up with in a long, long time.

GIADA: What’s going on here!? Giada can actually cook! She was robbed in her bout versus Rachael Ray on ICA. ROBBED! And Food Net seems more interested in her enormous head (big head equals big ratings. Really!) and her cleavage--than the fact that she’s likeable, knows what she’s doing in an Italian kitchen--and makes food you’d actually want to eat. The new high concept Weekend Getaway show is a horrible, tired re-cap of the cheap-ass “Best Of” and “40 Dollar a Day” formula. Send host to empty restaurant. Watch them make crappy food for her. Have her take a few lonely, awkward stabs at the plate, then feign enjoyment with appropriately orgasmic eye-closing and moaning..Before spitting it out and rushing to the trailer. Send her to Italy and let her cook. She’s good at it.

RACHAEL: Complain all you want. It’s like railing against the pounding surf. She only grows stronger and more powerful. Her ear-shattering tones louder and louder. We KNOW she can’t cook. She shrewdly tells us so. So...what is she selling us? Really? She’s selling us satisfaction, the smug reassurance that mediocrity is quite enough. She’s a friendly, familiar face who appears regularly on our screens to tell us that “Even your dumb, lazy ass can cook this!” Wallowing in your own crapulence on your Cheeto-littered couch you watch her and think, “Hell…I could do that. I ain’t gonna…but I could--if I wanted! Now where’s my damn jug a Diet Pepsi?” Where the saintly Julia Child sought to raise expectations, to enlighten us, make us better--teach us--and in fact, did, Rachael uses her strange and terrible powers to narcotize her public with her hypnotic mantra of Yummo and Evoo and Sammys. “You’re doing just fine. You don’t even have to chop an onion--you can buy it already chopped. Aspire to nothing…Just sit there. Have another Triscuit…Sleep….sleep….”

PAULA DEEN: I’m reluctant to bash what seems to be a nice old lady. Even if her supporting cast is beginning to look like the Hills Have Eyes--and her food a True Buffet of Horrors. A recent Hawaii show was indistinguishable from an early John Waters film. And the food on a par with the last scene of Pink Flamingos. But I’d like to see her mad. Like her look-alike, Divine in the classic, “Female Trouble.“ Paula Deen on a Baltimore Killing Spree would be something to see. Let her get Rachael in a headlock--and it’s all over.

SANDRA LEE: Pure evil. This frightening Hell Spawn of Kathie Lee and Betty Crocker seems on a mission to kill her fans, one meal at a time. She Must Be Stopped. Her death-dealing can-opening ways will cut a swath of destruction through the world if not contained. I would likely be arrested if I suggested on television that any children watching should promptly go to a wooded area with a gun and harm themselves. What’s the difference between that and Sandra suggesting we fill our mouths with Ritz Crackers, jam a can of Cheez Wiz in after and press hard? None that I can see. This is simply irresponsible programming. Its only possible use might be as a psychological warfare strategy against the resurgent Taliban--or dangerous insurgent groups. A large-racked blonde repeatedly urging Afghans and angry Iraqis to stuff themseles with fatty, processed American foods might be just the weapon we need to win the war on terror.

AND FINALLY: Some IRON CHEF AMERICA match-ups I’d REALLY like to see:

Mario Batali (with one arm tied behind his back--and drunk) vs. Regina Schrambling
Michael Ruhlman, swacked on Ripple, vs. John Mariani-- in a Charcuterie Challenge
Grant Achatz vs. That Guy In Australia Who Ripped off his recipes as his own
Marco Pierre White vs. Gordon Ramsay
Charlie Trotter vs. Martin Picard (Chicken Livers vs. Foie Gras)
Chris Cosentino, Fergus Henderson, Martin Picard vs. Alain Passard, Roxanne Klein and Charlie Trotter (Cooked vs. Raw Challenge)
Martha Stewart vs. Rachael Ray (bare knuckle cage match)
Ducasse vs. Robuchon
“Mikey” from Top Chef vs. Sandra Lee
Video Gold!