Southern Buddhist 1 Posted February 21, 2009 Share Posted February 21, 2009 The History Channel has a two-hour documentary on a plot to steal the corpse of Abraham Lincoln and ransom it in exchange for a pardon for some guy the kidnappers knew and $200,000 cash.As one historian pointed out, there were a few holes in this plan: it would take them about ten days to two weeks to travel to where they intended to hide the body, but only a couple of days before the news would hit papers nationwide, and in the days before hotels, they would have had to stop overnight at taverns and inns, where somebody miiight notice the humongous fancy coffin in their wagon and the distinct reek of ex-president, miiiight have seen the inch-high headlines, and miiight be smart enough to put two and two together.Valid point, but I see a bigger problem.Kidnappers: Give us $200,000. Victim (Mary Todd Lincoln? US Govt? I'm not sure who they meant to contact): Or what, we'll never see him alive again?Okay, maybe they try a threat:Kidnappers: For every day you don't give us the money, you'll receive a package containing a body part.Victim: So if I hold out long enough, I'll get him all back? Okay, but you'll be out postage.I think I see why this crime didn't catch on. Link to post Share on other sites
keith crime 8 Posted February 21, 2009 Share Posted February 21, 2009 steal reagan's body and threaten to have sex with it every dayyou'll get paidand if not - what fun you'll have anyway Link to post Share on other sites
Southern Buddhist 1 Posted February 21, 2009 Author Share Posted February 21, 2009 steal reagan's body and threaten to have sex with it every dayyou'll get paidand if not - what fun you'll have anywayIf I had to do that, I'd rather have Kennedy. He was better looking and probably died with a hard-on, since he had a more or less perpetual one anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
loogie 115 Posted February 22, 2009 Share Posted February 22, 2009 If I had to do that, I'd rather have Kennedy. He was better looking and probably died with a hard-on, since he had a more or less perpetual one anyway.Kennedy was better looking than Reagan? In their prime? I don't think so. Reagan was a fucking Hollywood star. Link to post Share on other sites
slink 1 Posted February 22, 2009 Share Posted February 22, 2009 Kennedy was better looking than Reagan? In their prime? I don't think so. Reagan was a fucking Hollywood star.Reagan was "probably" better looking at death too, since he still had his head fully in place. Link to post Share on other sites
keith crime 8 Posted February 22, 2009 Share Posted February 22, 2009 Kennedy was better looking than Reagan? In their prime? I don't think so. Reagan was a fucking Hollywood star.yeah but kennedy was fucking marilyn monroe! Link to post Share on other sites
loogie 115 Posted February 22, 2009 Share Posted February 22, 2009 yeah but kennedy was fucking marilyn monroe!After he was already President. Link to post Share on other sites
Southern Buddhist 1 Posted February 22, 2009 Author Share Posted February 22, 2009 Reagan was "probably" better looking at death too, since he still had his head fully in place.You raise a good point.Even in his prime, Reagan wasn't much. Brylcreem just doesn't make me cream. And Reagan was only a movie "star" because the real men like Clark Gable, Jimmy Stewart, and Tyrone Power were off fighting the war. He managed not to serve a day in the greatest struggle of the 20th century. Link to post Share on other sites
slink 1 Posted February 22, 2009 Share Posted February 22, 2009 You raise a good point.Even in his prime, Reagan wasn't much. Brylcreem just doesn't make me cream. And Reagan was only a movie "star" because the real men like Clark Gable, Jimmy Stewart, and Tyrone Power were off fighting the war. He managed not to serve a day in the greatest struggle of the 20th century.Something I didn't know (and most probably don't either), Stewart rose from Private to Colonel during the war and eventually achieved the rank of Brigadier General in the reserves.Impressive. Link to post Share on other sites
loogie 115 Posted February 22, 2009 Share Posted February 22, 2009 Even in his prime, Reagan wasn't much. Brylcreem just doesn't make me cream. And Reagan was only a movie "star" because the real men like Clark Gable, Jimmy Stewart, and Tyrone Power were off fighting the war. He managed not to serve a day in the greatest struggle of the 20th century.Don't let your aversion toward Republicans skew your perception. Reagan wasn't much? Puh-lease. Link to post Share on other sites
Ron_Mexico 4,238 Posted February 22, 2009 Share Posted February 22, 2009 Even in his prime, Reagan wasn't much. Brylcreem just doesn't make me cream.You're quite the cheeky monkey lately Link to post Share on other sites
SuitedAces21 2,741 Posted February 22, 2009 Share Posted February 22, 2009 Link to post Share on other sites
Southern Buddhist 1 Posted March 1, 2009 Author Share Posted March 1, 2009 You're quite the cheeky monkey latelyYou guys are a good influence on me. Link to post Share on other sites
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