L O L Donkaments

[nutzbuster 7]

Seriously...how the hell does anyone play these? I know, I say that with a little tinge of hypocrisy...I used to play them quite a bit. And today I was reminded once again why I stopped.Because they are F*KING RETARDED and filled with F*CKING RETARDS.Here's my take, the sheer number of donkeys and morons entered levels any of the players with any skill, thus cancelling out said any skill, and reducing the experience to one not unlike getting stabbed in the left nut with a dull rusty fork.I played the Arizona State Championship today. $1050 buy in, $214K for first, 70 placed paid, the least getting $2200.10K in starting chips, 30 minute levels till level 6, then 45 minutes levels, a pretty decent structure. Not bad really.None of this means anything to the brain dead fuktards that filled my table.I smoked a $110 SNG on Tuesday to reluctantly get into this thing. I really did not want to play, as I just loathe the idea of sitting there for 13 hours, often times for nothing. But it had been a while and I just thought,....what if? So I went. My table was so bad. seat one, old timer nit. seat 2, old timer aggro nit. seat 3 Any Ace Asian chick. Seat 4, completely clueless old timer. Seat 5 aggro internet punk ass beeatch. Seat 6 young tourney newb. seat 7 Bollywood's answer to poker. Seat 8 actually a decent player. Seat 9 the best guy there.....me. Seat 10 another scaredy cat old guy.I was so happy. This table was like a tourney chip buffet...or at least should have been.I'll spare you all of the horror that was the mindless play here, and just talk about 4 key hands. Hand 1 Blinds are 150-300. I have been up and down and am sitting with 9 K. Im in the BB with . Asian babe raises to 1200, Bollywood calls, seat 8 goes all in (he is aggro, desperate and short, and his range is enormous) for 3.5K more.I'm loving that there are a lot of chips out there now, but Asian chick has been playing VERY tight and opened with a raise. She also now only has about 2K left and is all but pot committed. Bollywood too has been showing some good cards and has me worried. I am actually thinking call here but have a bad feeling about the strength of the Asian babe, and fold. Then....the Asian babe quickly folds ACE KINGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!! Bollywood bails too. Seat 8 shows J-7 off and rakes a nice pot. I am speechless.Hand 2. (earlier...blinds 100-200) I lead out with - into a -- flop . Turn , river . I am betting at least half pot on every street and this guy just agonizes each time, but calls anyway. He just is tortured and is obviously weak as can be. I fire again on the river and he starts to fold, I mean he is dead to a Straight, 2 pair etc. just about every way imaginable. But he calls anyway...and shows - and says, "I just knew you didn't have a Jack".......WTFFFFFFFFFF???I go into turbo mode and bully my way back up to 12K.Hand 3Blinds 150 - 300 25 ante. Seat 3 has about 4K.Seat 3, old nit, having folded fore the better part of an hour suddenly insta jams ALL IN. The button, old timer aggro nit with about 15K INSTA CALLS with pockets 3's, LOLOL!Seat 3 shows - , flops his 5 and doubles. omfg....Hand 4Blinds 200- 400, 25 ante. I have 12KI have - in the BB. Asian chick makes it 1600. Seat 6 calls. Bollywood calls. I insta shiple. Asian babe folds, seat 6 talks smack for a good long time and finally folds. 16.9K in the pot.Bollywood stalls and starts to fold. He barely has me covered but I feel very good about his hesitation.I am a statue and he finally says I CALL......and turns up - . WOO HOOOO!!!!Flop comes - - , turn , river.......................so....fking...standard.It's not losing over and over that kills me lately it's that so many of the losses are like this one, 1 or 2 outers. Just complete confidence killers. And so it went, and so goes my tourney career. I hate them. Period. Be very long time before I play another one.GL everyone.

[king_tanner 84]

dude that sucks sorry to hear.... at least you didnt have to pay the full buy-in, but still sucks.Shows that donks are at all the levels

[cubsfan44 0]

Nutz you know I love you but seriously we already have one of these http://www.fullcontactpoker.com/poker-foru...howtopic=127094

[chgocubs99 0]

I'm not sure which way to go with my reply...I guess I'll just say nothing.

[nutzbuster 7]

Nutz you know I love you but seriously we already have one of these http://www.fullcontactpoker.com/poker-foru...howtopic=127094

lol. Not really a bad beat story as much as a comment how these tournaments are just absolute crap shoots. It should have been easy pickings, but the level of play was so bad that it was really hard to act with the correct decision because it just would not have mattered. The donk effect negated any skill whatsoever.This one was all about luck. I'd have been better of playing a slot machine.and yes, the good news was that it was a free roll. Im not that pissed at all.....just more dumbfounded

[HighwayStar 8]

**** tournamentsI think you have to play about 5000 before everything evens out to where it should be and sometimes they are just brutal

[aussiedonk 0]

lol. Not really a bad beat story as much as a comment how these tournaments are just absolute crap shoots. It should have been easy pickings, but the level of play was so bad that it was really hard to act with the correct decision because it just would not have mattered. The donk effect negated any skill whatsoever.This one was all about luck. I'd have been better of playing a slot machine.and yes, the good news was that it was a free roll. Im not that pissed at all.....just more dumbfounded

I will sound like a tool but I'll say it anyway.I would guess that you know this already, but obviously you're not better off playing a slot machine. Assuming you had the starting stack when you shoved 1010, you put yourself into a position to double the equity value of your buy-in as an 80/20 favourite. If you know of a slot machine which plays like this please direct me to it. It can be frustrating but the worse your opponents are, the higher your EV. Telling yourself otherwise can create unnecessary (mainly psychological) problems for you imo. Didn't really mean to give advice and re-reading my post, I do sound like a tol, so mission accomplished I guess lol

[The Lobster 0]

I will sound like a tool but I'll say it anyway.I would guess that you know this already, but obviously you're not better off playing a slot machine. Assuming you had the starting stack when you shoved 1010, you put yourself into a position to double the equity value of your buy-in as an 80/20 favourite. If you know of a slot machine which plays like this please direct me to it. It can be frustrating but the worse your opponents are, the higher your EV. Telling yourself otherwise can create unnecessary (mainly psychological) problems for you imo. Didn't really mean to give advice and re-reading my post, I do sound like a tol, so mission accomplished I guess lol

What if the slot machine is due to hit the jackpot?

[aussiedonk 0]

What if the slot machine is due to hit the jackpot?

lol good point. I have seen some hilarious things in these situations

[psujohn 0]

Here's my take, the sheer number of donkeys and morons entered levels any of the players with any skill, thus cancelling out said any skill, and reducing the experience to one not unlike getting stabbed in the left nut with a dull rusty fork.

I'm gonna have to whip out the naughty finger at that comment. You simply must know that that isn't true. Sure tournaments are frustrating.Sure luck plays a factor.But saying that too many donks eliminates skill is just redic.Almost every tournament story ends with a bad beat or a hand that villain "could have folded". But I think it was Barry G who said something like "If I had played better earlier in the tourney and won more chips I would have still lost that hand but had enough to remain in the tourney."

[Dratj 0]

You got it in as a 4 to 1 favourite. What can you say? That's poker. Better luck next time. Don't let it stop you from playing.

[TheRegime 0]

I'm gonna have to whip out the naughty finger at that comment. You simply must know that that isn't true. Sure tournaments are frustrating.Sure luck plays a factor.But saying that too many donks eliminates skill is just redic.Almost every tournament story ends with a bad beat or a hand that villain "could have folded". But I think it was Barry G who said something like "If I had played better earlier in the tourney and won more chips I would have still lost that hand but had enough to remain in the tourney."

Maybe I should of read Barry's book cuz I say the exact same thing to my donk friends in home games. I just tell them bad beats are gonna happen it is innevitable. Just have enough chips so when the donk sucks out on you it doesnt hurt your stack that much. I like barry more now.Anyways to the OP that sucks. Suurprised how many donks there are at different levels.

[Whatever 1]

Just a bad beat thread in the wrong forum spiced up with the ole 'I'd rather play better players' crap. Whatever. Thinking logically you should want to play with those people all the time for the highest stakes possible.

[Whatever 1]

Oh I enjoyed the story anyway. It is amazing they were that bad playing a $1,000 buy-in.

[NoSup4U 0]

I was pretty sure this tourney was going to go this way for Scott. Sell the seat ftw imo.Mark

[looshle 6]

so steamed i missed this but couldn't be in arizona in time.

[KONGOS 0]

I busted out on Saturday around level 7...just couldn't get anything going. Was truly card dead and then I raise my KK preflop...no one calls. I raise TT, flop comes K high, I get bet into hard for a third of my stack. The blinds bleed me down to about 10,000 from my peak of 13,000. I pay the small blind, big blind and immediately our table breaks. I'm moved to the big blind on my new table so in 4 hands I lose 20% of my stack (1900 chips - blinds at 25/300/600). A round later blinds are up to 50/400/800 and I'm down to a little over 5000. I finally see AJ and push utg hoping people notice how patient I was being. Button pushes with AK and I'm out.My starting table was 90% filled with people I satellited in with. One woman thought it was a coincidence. There were 2 big donators at my table, the woman being one of them...I just couldn't get in a pot with them.I was glad they changed the structure to playing down to a certain level and not players. Money bubble will burst today.I still really don't like how fast of a tourney it was. After 3 hours, 1/2 the field was eliminated and the avg chip stack after 4 hours was like 15BB.I'll definitely sell my ticket next year if I satellite in and I'll just make a weekend out of playing cash as people tilt their way over to the cash tables once they bust out.

[KONGOS 0]

One notable hand. Blinds at 25/100/200 and my stack is a little over 6000 after mainly not hitting flops, continuation betting and getting raised forcing me to fold and one failed bluff attempt early on. UTG+1 raises to 600 EP1 calls, EP2 Calls, CO calls, Button (Me - AQ) just calls, blinds fold. Flop comes Ks4s8x and it's checked around. Turn comes Ad. Original better bets 1600, one fold, EP2 calls, CO calls, I think for a little and decide to push. All fold to CO who tanks for a while but eventually folds.I was pumped after that hand and then 2.5 hours go by and I can't remember another noteworthy hand haha.

[nutzbuster 7]

LOL at everyone. This thread is a 90% vent.You should all know me by now...I like to whine. A LOT. It's pathetic but it helps me deal. I was gonna quit again, but thought that was just not funny anymore so I officially quit in the car on the way home and then un- quit at the 7-11 over a frozen coke. Sue me, lol.Seriously, I have been on a little tear lately, and I secretly DID feel like I was going deep in this thing. I was VERY confident and was destroying that table as much as I could. Stealing blinds was SOOOOO easy! I got down to 1500 at one point and in a few minutes was back to 5K, and then bluffed for a 6K pot to get back up over 9K. blah blah blah.And of course I know that I had the dream table, and these were exactly the types (idiots) you want at your table, I know this. By the numbers this is a very good thing indeed...over time. But more often than not it's the donks that crush me, rarely the better players. And I know I do not get to play enough, It's just frustrating all around....And Mark, I did almost sell the seat Friday night to Pete ....so close. Meh. For what it's worth nitty guy said he fold 10 - 7 suited on that last hand, so the guy hit a one outer. LOLOLOLOL!!!!I love you all. Deeply. Seriously.

[nutzbuster 7]

so steamed i missed this but couldn't be in arizona in time.

Loosh, man dude. Next year. I would love to see you, JC, T-May fly in for this, OMG, easy mobnies.

I busted out on Saturday around level 7...just couldn't get anything going. Was truly card dead and then I raise my KK preflop...no one calls. I raise TT, flop comes K high, I get bet into hard for a third of my stack. The blinds bleed me down to about 10,000 from my peak of 13,000. I pay the small blind, big blind and immediately our table breaks. I'm moved to the big blind on my new table so in 4 hands I lose 20% of my stack (1900 chips - blinds at 25/300/600). A round later blinds are up to 50/400/800 and I'm down to a little over 5000. I finally see AJ and push utg hoping people notice how patient I was being. Button pushes with AK and I'm out.My starting table was 90% filled with people I satellited in with. One woman thought it was a coincidence. There were 2 big donators at my table, the woman being one of them...I just couldn't get in a pot with them.I was glad they changed the structure to playing down to a certain level and not players. Money bubble will burst today.I still really don't like how fast of a tourney it was. After 3 hours, 1/2 the field was eliminated and the avg chip stack after 4 hours was like 15BB.I'll definitely sell my ticket next year if I satellite in and I'll just make a weekend out of playing cash as people tilt their way over to the cash tables once they bust out.

Sorry dude. I agree too...sell the tickie! Cash games ftw.

[looshle 6]

I'm pretty much living in Phoenix now.

[NonZeroPossibility 0]

I think the main problem is that half of America is BRAIN DEAD.I just got cussed out and called a crook by some lunatic customer because he thought I sold him the wrong parts for his car.Told him to pull the car around back so we can see what he is talking about. Turns out they fit fine. Clear as day.He insists that it doesn't fit.... wtf?What do you tell someone that obviously forgot to take their daily meds? I am so fkn tilted I don't think I can even play poker today.

[CBass1724 1]

LOL at everyone. This thread is a 90% vent.You should all know me by now...I like to whine. A LOT. It's pathetic but it helps me deal. I was gonna quit again, but thought that was just not funny anymore so I officially quit in the car on the way home and then un- quit at the 7-11 over a slurpee. Sue me, lol.Seriously, I have been on a little tear lately, and I secretly DID feel like I was going deep in this thing. I was VERY confident and was destroying that table as much as I could. Stealing blinds was SOOOOO easy! I got down to 1500 at one point and in a few minutes was back to 5K, and then bluffed for a 6K pot to get back up over 9K. blah blah blah.And of course I know that I had the dream table, and these were exactly the types (idiots) you want at your table, I know this. By the numbers this is a very good thing indeed...over time. But more often than not it's the donks that crush me, rarely the better players. And I know I do not get to play enough, It's just frustrating all around....And Mark, I did almost sell the seat Friday night to Pete ....so close. Meh. For what it's worth nitty guy said he fold 10 - 7 suited on that last hand, so the guy hit a one outer. LOLOLOLOL!!!!I love you all. Deeply. Seriously.

fyp!

[Flushgarden 0]

Live donkaments are so fun. I've final tabled 6 of my last 8 live tournaments, and they're not super small fields. They average has around 170 people, and the last one had 301.Nutz you just have to shake it off and move on to the next one.

[nutzbuster 7]

Slurpee's FTW.I am impressed with folks that make money in Tournies. Teach me!And it's already shaken off brah, lol. I have begun a program to re group, get back on track, etc. It's all good...