sacopoo 0 Posted June 17, 2008 Share Posted June 17, 2008 Well, Im really considering getting a hooker. Im just not real sure about how to go about it and what to expect. I browsed some of the ads at craigslist and am about to make the jump. What is the proper way to go about getting a hooker. Do I just call and say I want your services?Any advice, info, or hooker stories from those with experience in this field is appreciated. Do I really need to worry about law enforcement if I find one off craigslist? Chance I could get an STD even if I cover up? Should I just go for a massage? What type of hookers are the best? Can I kiss her on the lips? Are guilt issues common? And I want to smoke some bud before I do her, should I offer to ger her high or just show up high? Link to post Share on other sites
donk4life 34 Posted June 17, 2008 Share Posted June 17, 2008 I think it's safe to say that the OP is a pathetic low life.That being said, try to find an Asian hooker. Link to post Share on other sites
Giggidy 0 Posted June 17, 2008 Share Posted June 17, 2008 Make sure to keep us informed and post up your (STD) results Link to post Share on other sites
sacopoo 0 Posted June 17, 2008 Author Share Posted June 17, 2008 Is getting a hooker really pathetic? Given circumstances of my life these days I am looking for some noncommittal sex. Link to post Share on other sites
Dirtydutch 9 Posted June 17, 2008 Share Posted June 17, 2008 Don't worry about the hatas, Sacopoo; they're just clinging to a repressive value-system. You've realize that you're economic power and utility can more than capably enticing your attractive, econ-existential inversion into the type of transaction you're looking for. Good.I use Craigslist indiscriminately, sometimes with the aid of review sites or escort.com. Others claim that police use Craigslist for stings, but I've never heard of such a thing. My main concern is pranks; try to keep the whore on the phone as long as possible; amateurs crack and giggle under pressure. (I've done this maybe 5 times, so maybe I'm not the best person to ask.) Link to post Share on other sites
James D 0 Posted June 17, 2008 Share Posted June 17, 2008 If you have to ask all these questions, then you probably shouldn't bother. Link to post Share on other sites
Cappy37 0 Posted June 17, 2008 Share Posted June 17, 2008 Most importantly: be safe.(check for a penis) Link to post Share on other sites
Dirtydutch 9 Posted June 17, 2008 Share Posted June 17, 2008 (check for a penis)What's the point? If (s)he's attractive, and you'd probably want to put it in the ass anyway, why rock the boat? If there's a penis up there, I don't want to know about it. Link to post Share on other sites
LadyGrey 8 Posted June 17, 2008 Share Posted June 17, 2008 This thread made me intrigued to see what was offered on craigslist for my area. Oxford hasn't really cottoned onto craigslist yet, in fact most Britons haven't heard of it, but from the slim pickings I did find this entertaining post: Fruit sex - m4w - 38 (Oxon/London)Reply to: pers-684081422@craigslist.orgDate: 2008-05-17, 1:06PM BSTYou've gotta try it, this is not just a banana in your puss puss, this is much more and very erotic. Try me. Link to post Share on other sites
Dirtydutch 9 Posted June 17, 2008 Share Posted June 17, 2008 Do English people really say puss-puss? Link to post Share on other sites
BigDMcGee 3,367 Posted June 17, 2008 Share Posted June 17, 2008 What's the point? If (s)he's attractive, and you'd probably want to put it in the ass anyway, why rock the boat? If there's a penis up there, I don't want to know about it.also if you are a bargin shopper, a tranny generally comes at a nice discoun. Link to post Share on other sites
LadyGrey 8 Posted June 17, 2008 Share Posted June 17, 2008 Do English people really say puss-puss?No, not at all, that's one of the things that amused me so much about it. Fruit sex does sound interesting, it reminds me of that awful film Blue Lagoon where the kids lick juice from each others bodies. Link to post Share on other sites
Dirtydutch 9 Posted June 17, 2008 Share Posted June 17, 2008 also if you are a bargin shopper, a tranny generally comes at a nice discoun.Obv. Link to post Share on other sites
Ouch-8s 5 Posted June 17, 2008 Share Posted June 17, 2008 also if you are a bargin shopper, a tranny generally comes at a nice discoun.and that's over and above the 'two for the price of one' factorNo, not at all, that's one of the things that amused me so much about it. Fruit sex does sound interesting, it reminds me of that awful film Blue Lagoon where the kids lick juice from each others bodies.well now i know what i'm going to be thinking about for the rest of the day. Link to post Share on other sites
Dirtydutch 9 Posted June 17, 2008 Share Posted June 17, 2008 well now i know what i'm going to be thinking about for the rest of the day.I was a little turned on too, but I didn't want to come off as a perv, here. Link to post Share on other sites
mk 11 Posted June 17, 2008 Share Posted June 17, 2008 [x] thread has the potential to be epic Link to post Share on other sites
AmScray 354 Posted June 17, 2008 Share Posted June 17, 2008 http://www.theeroticreview.com/A semi-beat on sting operations.Not a 100% absolute beat (if they wanted to get really, really hard-core, they could pay for memberships and fake reviews for their stingbait) but about a 99% beat, since putting the ad out there with a few hot pics is good enough to get as much John action as they can handle, without having to resort to sophisticated rouses. Link to post Share on other sites
sacopoo 0 Posted June 17, 2008 Author Share Posted June 17, 2008 Im thinking of this girl. Does her ad seem legit to you guys. http://dallas.backpage.com/FemaleEscorts/t...wAd?oid=2641906 Link to post Share on other sites
Ron_Mexico 4,238 Posted June 17, 2008 Share Posted June 17, 2008 if you've never had a hooker, I'll run you through the emotions.Stage 1 - sober, hitting the town to find a lady, for free. All geeked up about it, positive, thinking the world can't stop you tonight. Vagina will be yours, oh yes, it will be yoursStage 2 - after your third blow off from hot/cute chicks, you lower the standards a bit. Another blow off from a mediocre looking chick. Now you're upset, thinking "I just bought that slob a drink and she won't do me? ME? SKANK. What you don't realize until later is that you were pressing, desperate. So, you hit stage 3.Stage 3 - find another mediocre chick. Play it totally cool, she's digging you. Now, here comes the dilemma. You've played it cool, but are having a hard time making the smooth transition to asking for the sex because this pig thinks you are really into her, and she might be offended by your ham handed segue to sex. Of course, being the horny slob you are, you blow it and realize you just bought that whore two drinks and a shot. Now, you're down at $100 bucks on the night. Rationalization starts entering the picture, especially if you're a jew.Stage 4 - heading to the strip club. "Somebody will blow me in a strip club, those girls are easy." So, you enter the strip club, but at this point, you're pretty well bombed and can't control the stupid stuff that comes out of your mouth, so the first girl in a g string that approaches you, you ask her how much a blow job in the back room is. She informs you that she isn't that type of girl. In actuality, she is, but since she's still stripping, in her head, she hasn't made the full transition to whore, therefore, has no urge to be talked to like one. Stage 5 - the drive home. In South Fl, on my drive home, there are at least 5 whack shacks. Now, I'm not sure if you have them where you live, but we do. They advertise in the sports page as "massage parlors" or "lingerie shows" or whatever the pretext de jour might be. In reality, you walk in, they do a line up, you pick the girl, she takes in into a relatively private room, no door, just a curtain, to prevent rape, or something, and $40 goes to the house, and $120 for a beej and $160 for full service. So, like I said, you're on your way home, still horny, and you pass one of these places. You say screw it, I'll just goof around and see a lineup and go home. It'll be funny, you say to yourself. So, you see the lineup and one of these girls happens to be cute. You're surprised and still horny. You pick her, but you say it's just to talk, negotiate her down to $50 bucks and if she agrees, do it, if not, leave with a good story. Now, she gets in the room with you, touches you a little and before she says another word, you give her your debit card and say "charge the full service package please thank you". One thing leads to another, you are at the front desk signing for your $200 bucks, happy as hell that you're about to bang this girl and get head, no muss no fuss.Stage 6 - you have really bad sex because the beej is with a condom and the sex is silly because you are just trying to get off and don't care about this girl, and she's making all the sounds like she's enjoying it. Now, you know she's faking them just so you'll get off quicker, but since you're so analytical, that kind of ruins the experience, because nobody plays you for a fool, NOBODY. Also, you're kind of drunk and your johnson is partially numb from beer pecker. Anyway, you cum, get dressed, happily walk out without any needless chit chat.Stage 7 - go home, get an enjoyable night sleep, mission accomplished, basically. Now, you wake up the next morning, shake off the cobwebs, get a text from a buddy to get breakfast. Walk over, grab your wallet and see the $200 credit card receipt, and the exact thought that comes to mind at that exact minute will be "Why didn't I just go home and jerk off?"Stage 8 - then, if money isn't an object, you'll eventually be like your friends and stop going out to chase the vag, and either go straight to the jerk joint, or become a Craigslist regular. Or so I hear. Link to post Share on other sites
Ouch-8s 5 Posted June 17, 2008 Share Posted June 17, 2008 [x] thread has the potential to be epic[x] mk used checkbox post style [ ] maintained my faith in mankind Link to post Share on other sites
TheLetter12 0 Posted June 17, 2008 Share Posted June 17, 2008 I don't even know what to think about this thread...I thought it for sure was a joke but now I am deeply intrigued on the science that is picking hookerology Link to post Share on other sites
Ron_Mexico 4,238 Posted June 17, 2008 Share Posted June 17, 2008 Im thinking of this girl. Does her ad seem legit to you guys. http://dallas.backpage.com/FemaleEscorts/t...wAd?oid=2641906 I'd guess those are model photographs, used by hooker ads all over the country. If not, I'd marry that girl right after she blew you. She's retarded hot. Link to post Share on other sites
mk 11 Posted June 17, 2008 Share Posted June 17, 2008 [x] mk used checkbox post style [ ] maintained my faith in mankindJEFF USED SMILIES OK Link to post Share on other sites
SBriand 4 Posted June 17, 2008 Share Posted June 17, 2008 I am too pissed right now to think so someone help me outWTF is this all about?I offer a GFE session that includeslots of kissing,M S O G and D A T Y. So, if you enjoythe little extras while still beingsafe, then I'm your kind of girl! I want to think DATY is do anal to you Link to post Share on other sites
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