Balloon Guy Vegas Trip Part1

[Balloon guy 158]

I wanted to hurry up and write a trip report about the FCP golf weekend before the rest of these guys lie about what happened and make me look bad.Drove to Vegas Friday after setting up an event, my wife wanted to go, even though she was sick so no cigars on the way to Vegas. saved +$40Got to Vegas and since she was going to dinner but not going to play poker we got a room at Monte Carlo to make it easier for her. Otherwise I would have stayed with Navybutton because he had a room with 2 guys and a hot tub. Which I think would be a really good new thread to start in off topic.Couldn't sleep, and wanted to avoid going down to the casino because my willpower has been on vacation lately so did sudoku and read mags until 3 AM. Got up at 6:30, shower and head over to Hooters casino to pick up Franchise and his buddy. Then off to Rio where we pick up Joe Walsh, who is a foreigner so we could barely udnerstand him cause he barely speaks American, then off to Saharas to get Chrozzo. Well for some reason Chrozzo didn't wake up in time, so after waiting 1/4 a cigar, we left him, suspecting that alcohol may have had something to do with it...Get to course with 1/5th a cigar left, and there's a large motley looking group already standing around, so I knew I was at the right place. Shook 14 hands, got 15 names, promptly forgot all of them because you are all only screennames to me. As it should be. Passed out cigars, then headed over to the driving range and got a spot next to navybuttons. I am stuck $200 on him from last year, $100 in liars poker and $100 in a stake thingy with a tournament thingy whatever. I just know I am on a mision to recoup some losses. So we start making $20 bets on who can drive the ball farther; him with a driver, me with a 4 iron, best of two.. He got me by a couple yards. -$20Then we went for closest to the pin, I won back to even.Then it was time to actually practise my swing, which went okay..still having problems with my grip, feel uncomfortable with the strength of my left hand on the club. That's what she said. Beat you guys to it.Went to the putting green, where I corrupted Nosup4u, taught him the joys of cigars. And indirectly I corrupted Shannon ( Mrs Nosup4u ) who began taking puffs off nosup's stoggie. He came back for more, as I knew he would. If this balloon thing ever falls through I can probably make a good livin selling crack.Side note that it's no wonder Nosup4u proposed to Shannon, why she said yes I'm still confused about. So it's time to go win me a golf tournament...But I almost made a near fatal mistake. I stupidly stood behind Nosup4u when he was hitting his drive, because he bounced off the front tee marker and the ball came whizzing back and almost knocked someone in the head. Had Chrozzo been taller the dead pool would have gotten a bump.So I learned my error though and stood behind Oziumrules next time Nosup drove and that's why I am able to write this now.Side note: There was an argument about the correct way to pronounce Chrozzo, with most of us agreeing that it is Chur-O-zo, and some donkey's thinking it's Chur-a-zo. Even Chrozzo got it wrong though so you know it's tricky.So we play golf, I play pretty bad. Big drives, into water behind the fairway, and bad iron shots, and I am scoring so bad even Checky would have given me strokes. ( unlike last time when he sandbagged me with straight up scores even though he has a much lower handicap )Golf was slow, like 5 and a half hours a round slow, but we sneak through a couple foresomes. One at the turn when they went the wrong way. GG boys, and the other time was a classic example of good teamwork. Navybutton's group is ahead of us, and we catch them just after they tee off. Navy says he wants me to give them a ruling about their last prop bet. They had a best drive bet and didn't clarify any rules, so they began explaining their situation as only a Navybutton with 8 beers into him at 12 noon after not sleeping for 30+ hours can. It was slightly shorter than a child explaining an episode of Barney where Barney has his friend the bear over and they make cupcakes, but Barney forgets to buy icing so they used paste. That was a good episode.So while Navy is explaining what happened, Oziumrules and Nutzbuster and Zach all tee off, so I tell them I think Nutz would be better to give them a ruling here, so they start at square one, while I get my driver and tee off. Whammy we are through group 2, with one to go. Drive over someones ball by accident and we are gold.Catch up to Vegusguy and Joe Walsh who have a skins game going with $10 a hole so they are serious, by this time we are all burned out, and so we make it a 6some and finish 16 and 17. Then we bail because the group of 20+ handicappers ahead of them feel the need to play tournament rules with regards to every single stroke so they are the ones making this whole day last too long.Get to the clubhouse, where Franchise and his buddy ( Mark I think, I suck at names ) are already in. Franchise banged up his elbow so they left after 13. Now I don't want to say anything, but we clearly said there was a dress code at this course, and Franchise came with shorts that had a big hole in the seat...Midwesterns... * Well we had all discussed going to Rub at the Rio after golf, so we leave message with the cart guys to tell everyone to meet us there, but it was so late, and I made the mistake of not resetting my GPS to fastest time instead of shortest distance. So we got led down a road with 4 schools on it and 15 MPH signs everywhere, and with my California plates I decide to obey the rules. I had to drop of Franchise off to get new shorts, and by the time I get to Rub, Nutz and everyone else had left to go eat at the Sportsbar. We meet up with Joe Walsh and eat a quick bite, head to the poker room to rail anyone who's ever been on TV ( Hi Beans) and leave with 2 hours till dinner. I run into AAsnake, Loismustdie and Navybutton and so of course Navy and I end up going off to gambool. I think he's a bad influence on me, or I am on him, I'm not sure. Well I want to try out some $5 slots because I am really good at them, but Navy needs to stop to hit the ATM because he figured out a system where he will force himself to use the ATM to get money instead of having it all on his person because that will help him not lose all his money until the end of his trip.I didn't want to bust his bubble andf point out the flaw of planning to lose all of his money, regardless of the time frame, so I kept my mouth shut. Hope he doesn't read this until he gets back. Sorry about the loss bro. Then we decide to play some blackjack. He buys in with me and I sit down with $200, get it up to $325, and instead of leaving, I decide to play until I get to $400. After one outing me 4-5 times on the river, the dealer felts us and Navy is spinning, he can't believe how bad that run was. Standard for me..Blackjack is rigged.So we split up and I head to Monte Carlo to shower and get the wife.Stay tuned for part 2 where I eat dinner...and play poker... badly

[HubDub04 0]

1st obvNow i'm gonna read it.

[Gallo 1]

We meet up with Joe Walsh and eat a quick bite, head to the poker room to rail anyone who's ever been on TV ( Hi Beans) and leave with 2 hours till dinner. I run into AAsanke, Loismustdie and Navybutton and so of course Navy and I end up going off to gambool. I think he's a bad influence on me, or I am on him, I'm not sure. Well I want to try out some $5 slots because I am really good at them, but Navy needs to stop to hit the ATM because he figured out a system where he will force himself to use the ATM to get money instead of having it all on his person because that will help him not lose all his money until the end of his trip.I didn't want to bust his bubble andf point out the flaw of planning to lose all of his money, regardless of the time frame, so I kept my mouth shut. Hope he doesn't read this until he gets back. Sorry about the loss bro. Then we decide to play some blackjack. He buys in with me and I sit down with $200, get it up to $3025, and instead of leaving, I decide to play until I get to $400. After one outing me 4-5 times on the river, the dealer felts us and Navy is spinning, he can't believe how bad that run was. Standard for me..Blackjack is rigged.So we split up and I head to Monte Carlo to shower and get the wife.Stay tuned for part 2 where I eat dinner...and play poker... badly

You just blew my mind!!

[Balloon guy 158]

PART #2 because I'm no Tim WakefieldDown to the restaurant at 6 and meet up with everyone. Sit next to Cubsfan, meet more people, didn't meet others who were on the other side of the 30 seat table. I didn't know about the water thing or else I would have paid for the whole thing not reallyBig thank you to Monix who bought wine for the whole table. I don't think many of you knew that, so again, thank you Monix. He also brought his WSOP Circuit event ring he won in Tunica, so after wiping the drool off it from being passed around the table, I showed my wife and said this is why I need to play poker everyday, so that one day she can have a ring like this. I don't think it worked, but we'll see when I tell her I am thinking of going back to the WSOP this year... * Funny thing at dinner, they brought over a little thing of lobster and set it in front of my wife. She asked what was this, and I told her go ahead and eat it. She gave some to me, but I don't really like lobster so I just dumped it out on the bread plate and covered it with my garnish so she wouldn't know. Oh well.Then it is tournament time. I walk the wife to the room because I am a gentleman..and I needed more cigars.Get a super soft table, I'm talking donkey kong soft. Bust out on a standard hand, it played itself and only maybe Phil Hellmuth could have gotten away from it. Busted out to Cubsfan, which is when I realize that he had strategically seated himself next to me during dinner so he could absorb my skills during dinner when I wasn't looking. Hey..it worked, so good job getting your money in an 85%-15% dog then sucking out. * Here's what happened. I have been playing a strategic super donk strategy from the 10 seat to set up my two player to the left seats one and two, who really had no business being in the same table with someone of my caliber, but tournaments are what they are. So after folding to everyone of their reraises for an hour I have them right where I want them, albeit with a smaller stack than I wanted, but that's they price you pay for Hellmuthian skills.So I get AA and make a standard 3xBB raise. Totallly throw out some I'm weak reverse tells by swallowing and touching me neck. I'm sure if the dealer hadn't been between me and them they would have seen it too. Anyway it gets folded around to Cubsfan in the small blind who thinks he has a chance to beat me. Flop AKQ. I make standard 4/5ths pot bet. Now I was thinking of making it 6/7ths, but figured the nuance would have been lost plus this tournament didn't give us any single chips so $700 is the bet. Cubs snap calls, which told me two things. One he doesn't give me anytime to read him, which shows me he is afraid, and two he has a hand. Turn is spade, making three spades on board, and I don't have the Ace of spades. So I throw in $2,000 All In to protect, like there's any chance I can because there is already over $2,000 in pot. He calls and I say: 'Spades are good', thinking he turned flush, he says: "Oh man.." when he sees the aces. So then I realize I am way ahead.He tables AQ offbut the Ace of Spades.River spadeGG me.No way either of us play different, unless I check turn and he checks from fear, I might be able to fold to 4 spades...but I can't see him doing that.Oh well it just goes to show you once again that I am right about sometimes mucking Aces pre-flop in a tournament. Wish I listened to myself.Nutz had his aces cracked as well so we head out to the casino to play craps with about 6 guys. I run into Navy playing $.10 spin poker, laughing because he has figured out the way to beat the game and he can't for the life of him understand how the casino stays in business with them giving him money like they are. He has nearly doubled his $5 investment and to be honest, I can't find any flaws in his theory. If they keep feeding him free drinks while he plays spin poker, they'll be broke in a month. If Chrozzo joined him they could bring down all of Vegas I'm sure. Hopefully they will not do this for the good of us all.I don't play craps, because I am a cooler, but for some reason I decide to play 100 video draw poker next to Navy. 100 hands, max bet the dime, it's $50 a spin. -$300Brutally watch Nutz AAsnake, and Navy all play 3 lines ( instead of 9) and min bet them instead of max betting.It took them forever to bust out.Play some $15 singledeck blackjack+$180Then we go back to rail tournment, 5 handed, shove fest. They gang up on Chrozzo, which I guess they figured was the only was to beat him. That and let him keep ordering shots of Grand Marnier with beer chasers. I think he got carded everytime it was his Big Blind.Cubsfan is in the running, but donks of all my chips by going all in with the 2nd best hand and failing to properly suck out when behind which is the trait of a true champion!GG Mjink and Zach, two good players.Now it's nearly 3 am and I leave, forgetting Franchise's hat in the poker room which he left in my car. So dude if you are reading this, and haven't gone home yet, and you want your hat, I'm sure the Monte Carlo poker room has a lost and found. Sorry man, little sleep and 100 hand video poker can do funny things to your memory.Bed by 3:30, sleep till 9:30.Wife is sick so she is just getting out. I have a huge headache. Could be the loss of 5 bills, but I suspect it had something to do with cigar number 4.Cigars number 5 and 6 tasted fine, but 7 was a little hard to draw because my mouth was numb. But I still think 4 was the culprit.She is down by the pool, so put on some clothes and head down with the intention of getting coffee which is not in the room??????? Dude, coffee in the room is in the constitution.So I head to the pool, and you may think I'm crazy but I am getting seriously checked out by the women. There were a ton of women and they all want me I'm sure. So I sit down next to my wife who is sunbathing and put my hand on her leg and give her a kiss to let these poor women get on with their lives. But they don't, 3 good looking women behind her are looking at me the whole time. So I do what I always do when good looking women hit on me, I fold pre-flop and told my wife I wanted to leave. Man I am so married that if I was anymore married I'd be gay.But hopefully the rest of you single guys can take heart to know that even I had a chance in Vegas.We do the couple thing, walked the strip, got lunch at the Irish pub in New York New York..good food. Get a tour of the City Center project, $500,000 for the 530 square foot studio is their cheapest unit, $9 million for the penthouse.$600+ a month dues AFTER you pay the half million.So I only bought one kidding, I bought 2Then we went to room because my wife needed a nap. Being the good husband I napped with her. She's not very good at afternoon naps because she never slept, but of course I didn't know that until after I zonked out for an hour. Then we went to dinner in the sports bar in Monte Carlo. Unfortunely there was some hockey game on and for some reason a bunch of people acted like it mattered, so the bar was kind of loud. The bar has one fault. They have huge big screens, lots of games going on etc. and their trademark cool thing is to serve beer in 4 foot tall cylinders with taps on the bottom and place these in the center of the table to let the people poor themselves. Of course 4' tall cylinders slightly hamper the view to the rest of the tables behind them, but hey..it looks cool.Drop off my wife at 8:00PM and call Nutz to go play some satelites at the Rio. He, Oz, AA, Chrozzo and Zach are all just getting to Venetian to eat at Noodle Bar, but I'm not hungry so I tell them I'll meet them. I get in the car and light a cigar. This cigar ends up being the most expensive cigar I ever smoked.I get on the strip to drive to Venetian, 2 miles 20 minutes. But it's okay, I have Dean Martin CD and the windows down and the temp is perfect and I am going to play poker in Vegas so I am in a great mood.Get to Venetian, park in self parking on first floor of self parking, floor 5well they have elevators, which I can't go in because I have a cigar, so I start trying doors until I find the stairs and head down, get to bottom and only door leads out to some back alley to the hotel, walk through an employee area, get to the road, walk down to casino sign, and find another elevator, because the casino is on floor 3!!!!So stairs again, and I run into Mr. crazy yelling at himself guy on 2nd floor all alone. He's an employee so I figure he's got reason to be insane so I give him Daniel Negreanu's PokerVT card because if he signs up all his personalities I will get rakeback. Make it to the casino, and find that the shopping area where the Noodle bar is is NO SMOKING. Friggin Communist taking over Vegas.So I call Nutz and tell them I'll wait in the casino.Now I expect them to be down soon, so I go find a $1 slot machine and drop a hundred quick.Okay..slow down, head to the quarter machine where I can only max bet 5 and drop another $50They got to be coming soon, so I walk towards escalators where a Wheel of Fortune bank of machines reminds me of Rainman, and winning, so I decide to pay for my whole trip by winning the $1.2 million progressive. Instead I get 6 spins of the wheel, 4 of them for the minimum $25 and 2 for the $40. People on both sides only get one spin each and hit for $400 and $250.So buh bye C note number 2 and a half waiting for Nutz because I have a cigar. But luckily the cigar is finally out so I can head to the restaurant, pull out phone and see Nutz has already left 2 messages.We hook up and decide to all sit down and play some Texas Hold em. Only the 'casino version' where you take a small fire and burn your money in large bundles. Oz gets raped, so I don't point out my bottom pair holding up, or my underpair to the board holding up, and netting me $85 before we leave. Side Note: Chrozzo got carded 4 TIMES and he wasn't even playing or drinkingMe and Oz head to Rio to play satelites.We get into a $175 game, he doubles up quick, I double up with AA verses 99 when he tried to push me off. AA holds and I am cruising. Then I make a horrible horrible play. I got 10 10, raise, get min raised and the short stack goes all in for exactly the same amount as the min raisers total bet. I can call $250 and have $900 behind to see what comes. Flop is Q rag rag, and I check.I deserve to get pushed out by the min raise, who tables AK against A9, 9 on river and short stack triples up, leaves me short, and busts me later in 3rd when my KJ doesn't beat his AA AIPF 3 handed, he never looked when he called I hate life hand.In all fairness the min raiser had just minraises with Aces exactly 3 hands before so it was a factor that I let get into my head.Play tight early, then gambool or get blinded down to nothing.Play another one, get AA, raise, get shoved by 99 again, AA holds, chip leader again. Really had this table figured out, joking around, keeping people feeling good etc. I had to go down to the old guy that was Mr. "I need to explain every point I am making to the very end no matter how obvious it is that the rest of the sentence doesn't need to be said even though there is a game going on and nobody cares but he keeps going on and on with his point like there is no other reason in his life to exist other than to make the point as clear as possible so there is no mistake" guy.Out in 4th. The final 3 split even and play for $120 extra cash. Never heard of a 3 way split in the $175 satilites.Oz busted out of 3 of them, last table getting 2 outed on turn. He says to me afterwards: "I run like Scott"Dude, that could turn into Life Tilt if you don't watch it.Scott shows up and we go rail the $10K buy in because Kathy Leibert is in it. I have a rule to try to rail Kathy Liebert whenever possible for obvious reasons. I look at watch and it's 3:00 AM so I need to go to bead.Play slots for 1 more hour and sneak into room at 4. Up at 10, drive home, now I need to get some money online because I am so ready to play poker somewhere that's not rigged.I know I forgot many things, many names, many things. But I had a great time, I hope you guys can make it down to the WSOP no matter what.Overall score: -$1200, - 60 cigars ( I only smoked 10 ) +life experience

[Balloon guy 158]

You just blew my mind!!

fixed.Hey did we meet? Or did you just talk on the phone to someone next to me and I hear your name?

[Dratj 0]

Good read. Both parts.

[grocery_mony 8]

Does the -1200 include the half mill condo?

[Gallo 1]

fixed.Hey did we meet? Or did you just talk on the phone to someone next to me and I hear your name?

Talked to Adam and Mike (MJinK3).

[navybuttons 15]

Mr. "I need to explain every point I am making to the very end no matter how obvious it is that the rest of the sentence doesn't need to be said even though there is a game going on and nobody cares but he keeps going on and on with his point like there is no other reason in his life to exist other than to make the point as clear as possible so there is no mistake" guy

i don't remember playing any sats.i think we're a bad influence on each other. but it doesn't really matter does it? you don't care about small money figures because you have larger ones. i don't care about small money figures because i'm an idiot.the report was very well done; me and ray are giggling like school girls to each other.

[Zach6668 513]

Here's what happened. I have been playing a strategic super donk strategy from the 10 seat toset up my two player to the left seats one and two, who really had no business being in the same table with someone of my caliber, but tournaments are what they are. So after folding to everyone of their reraises for an hour I have them right where I want them, albeit with a smaller stack than I wanted, but that's they price you pay for Hellmuthian skills.

LOL!I knew sitting beside Seth would give me a super sick image, hahahahahaha.I'm pretty sure I didn't 3-bet you once, lol. I was playing tight as hell in this tourney.

[Balloon guy 158]

i don't remember playing any sats.i think we're a bad influence on each other. but it doesn't really matter does it? you don't care about small money figures because you have larger ones. i don't care about small money figures because i'm an idiot.the report was very well done; me and ray are giggling like school girls to each other.

[Balloon guy 158]

i don't remember playing any sats.i think we're a bad influence on each other. but it doesn't really matter does it? you don't care about small money figures because you have larger ones. i don't care about small money figures because i'm an idiot.the report was very well done; me and ray are giggling like school girls to each other.

So everything is normal.How's the hot tub Ray?

[troyomac 0]

So everything is normal.How's the hot tub Ray?

HOT!

[copernicus 0]

hilarious, best trip report evah!Im still laughing at "I make standard 4/5ths pot bet. Now I was thinking of making it 6/7ths, but figured the nuance would have been lost plus this tournament didn't give us any single chips so $700 is the bet."Its almost worthwhile to drive from one end of the county to the other to see the man behind the humor! (actually it would be worthwhile, except I wouldnt last ten minutes with the cigars indoors!)

[savagerebel 0]

I wish I was 1/2 as fun and 1/4 as rich as you.

[SilentButDeadly3 0]

Solid gold.

[copernicus 0]

I wish I was 1/2 as fun and 1/4 as rich as you.

you left out 1/10 as good looking

[Janfor99 0]

[acesfull333 0]

Good stuff!+1

[CBass1724 1]

I always thought it was pronounced Kraw-Zo.Very nice read, felt like I was there.

[gatortom64 1]

Living La Vida Loca thru Balloon Guy. Life is good!!

[leftygolfer 7]

Get to course with 1/5th a cigar left, and there's a large motley looking group already standing around, so I knew I was at the right place. Shook 14 hands, got 15 names, promptly forgot all of them because you are all only screennames to me. As it should be. Passed out cigars, then headed over to the driving range and got a spot next to navybuttons. I am stuck $200 on him from last year, $100 in liars poker and $100 in a stake thingy with a tournament thingy whatever. I just know I am on a mision to recoup some losses. So we start making $20 bets on who can drive the ball farther; him with a driver, me with a 4 iron, best of two.. He got me by a couple yards. -$20Then we went for closest to the pin, I won back to even.

I had a $20 prop bet again on Navy hitting hitting his 1st tee shot in the fairway.Can't find the post I am to lazy to look for the post for our bet.Can I get any confirmation?

[StrippersNBlow 0]

Scott shows up and we go rail the $10K buy in because Kathy Leibert is in it. I have a rule to try to rail Kathy Liebert whenever possible for obvious reasons.

Better luck with her next time. Well, since we know yours now, who did your wife pick as the celebrity she would be allowed to bed if she ever got the chance? Entertained as always by BG, standard obv etc. To everyone else writing reports, please space them out for me. I don't want to peak too early w/anticipation.

[serge 904]

Great trip report..My favourite part is how a cigar is now a unit of time..lolgood job

[sandwedge 30]

Awesome report, BG.Lefty, I read Navy say that he missed the first fairway and can't remember the tenth hole. I don't remember where he posted it though.