5 replies to this topic

[pezeveng]

A Mormon was seated next to an Irishman on a flight from London. After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken. The Irishman asked for a whiskey, which was promptly brought and placed before him.

The flight attendant then asked the Mormon if he would like a drink. He replied in disgust, "I'd rather be savagely raped by a dozen whores than let liquor touch my lips."

The Irishman then handed his drink back to the attendant & said " Me too. I didn't know we had a choice."

[Jeepster80125]

nice, that's a new one to me.

[El Guapo]

This was e mailed to me today, I snickered a bit

Fresh from my shower, I stand in front of the mirror complaining to my
husband that my breasts are too small. Instead of characteristically
telling me it's not so, he uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion.

"If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet
paper and rub it between them for a few seconds"

Willing to try anything, I fetch a piece of toilet paper and stand in
front of the mirror, rubbing it between my breasts.

"How long will this take?" I asked.
"They will grow larger over a period of years," my husband replies.

I stopped. "Do you really think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between
my breasts every day will make my breasts larger over the years?"
Without missing a beat he says, "Worked for your butt, didn't it?"

[NonZeroPossibility]

Wha?... This isn't the "Official Joke of the Day Thread"?... I'm out.














Ah, what the hell, I got a really good one anyway:

Three mice are sitting in a bar. The first one exclaims, "I am one bad-ass mouse! In my hood, we have huge mousetraps. I take the damn cheese out of the traps and move the bar up and down while I eat."

The second one chimes in with, "Oh yeah. Well, I'm a bad-ass mouse too. In fact, I'm such a bad-ass mouse, that in my hood, I mix rat poison with my milk and chug it down every night before I go to bed."

The third gets up and starts to leave. The other two mice both yell out, "Hey chicken, where do you think you're going?"

The third one replies, "Going home to f u c k the cat."

[chrozzo]

too funny


ty

[Cappy37]

Blond girl takes a taxi downtown.

Soon as they hit the destination, she tells the driver, "Sir, I'm terribly sorry but I have no money to pay you with."

She lifts up her skirt to reveal that she isn't wearing any underwear and hints coyly, " Maybe we can work something out?"

Cab driver takes one look in the backseat and replies, "Ma'am, do you have anything smaller?"