Me, watching FB and praying I cover my marks. That's how I'm going to give thanks to America.
To celebrate the Native American contributions, I'm going to get drunk and pretend that I'm chronically unemployable.
1
Americans- What Are You Doing For 'we Pwned The Indians' Day?
Started by scram, Nov 21 2007 06:53 PM
35 replies to this topic
#1
scram
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Vote Ron Paul in 2008
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Posted 21 November 2007 - 06:53 PM
#2
Tactical Bear
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Happy Hallowang
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Posted 21 November 2007 - 07:11 PM
QUOTE (scram @ Wednesday, November 21st, 2007, 9:53 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Me, watching FB and praying I cover my marks. That's how I'm going to give thanks to America.
To celebrate the Native American contributions, I'm going to get drunk and pretend that I'm chronically unemployable.
To celebrate the Native American contributions, I'm going to get drunk and pretend that I'm chronically unemployable.
Every year I celebrate by hoping Shitty Aunt Gail gets juuuust out of line enough that I can call her "stupid cunt" and not be disowned by my family. I think this year is going to be the year! Fingers crossed!
Quack, Qua-...
I mean, RAAAAAAWWWR!
I mean, RAAAAAAWWWR!
#3
Dirtydutch
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Posted 21 November 2007 - 07:24 PM
Dutch vs. God II: Thanksgiving ‘07
Some of you may remember my blowup, last Thanksgiving, where I left during a huge, uncomfortable family gathering, where everyone was obsessed with my gambling and degeneracy, after which I vowed to hold a Spitesgiving at Dutchington Manor, this year. Well, after a year of public screaming matches, copious pill and alcohol abuse, fistfights, destructive relationships, a nightclub banishment, several arrests, shoplifting (thanks, McGee), gambling, and a little cocaine, compared to last year’s mild pill-abuse and gambling, I’m keeping my word.
My roommate Danial and I are hosting what’s going to be the worst Thanksgiving on the books, because we’re bad people and don’t like our super Christian families and friends.
I invited way more people than I thought I could seat, because it makes it funnier. I only have four chairs, right now, if you count a very small Barcalounger. For table space, I have a long, ovular casino-grade poker table, which should seat 10, and a stolen conduit spool, which may or may not seat the rest, depending on whether or not anyone even comes.
The menu is as follows:
First course: An apple. Everyone gets an apple.
Second (main): Hotpockets, which I’ll refuse to admit are Hotpockets.
Final course: A bowl of Skittles and a spoon.
The basic schedule looks something like this:
Arrive at 4PM, when I’ll probably answer the door with bed-head and in sweats, groggily.
‘Til 5PM, I’ll work the room, using off-color and inappropriate language, and telling trippy stories about crimes, gambling, and God-knows-what.
5-8PM: Street Fighter II tournament, between me and and Dan and any of our friends who show.
8PM: The Apple.
8:03PM: My super gay, Black friend, Kevin, will bang on the door, seeking shelter from the cops, wearing FUBU apparel from ‘98. (Update: Kevin can’t make it. I’ve left it in, though, because it’s still funny.)
8:15PM: Hotpockets.
9PM: Skittles, which I’ll make a big fuss about being a real treat.
9:30-?: Street Fighter II cash matches, played with high cursing-levels, and huge stacks of money being passed around.
Through this, Dutch will steal Thanksgiving.
One thing we don’t agree on is the musical selection. I feel something classic like The Chipmunks’ Christmas would work as a kind of demented counterpoint (points for reference) to the dereliction, while Danial feels we should be bumpin' some kind of super violent or dirty hip-hop. Thoughts?
(Unfortunately it's not going to happen, because no one is going to come, so it's basically just going to be me and my roommate playing SF and scarfing Hotpockets.)
Some of you may remember my blowup, last Thanksgiving, where I left during a huge, uncomfortable family gathering, where everyone was obsessed with my gambling and degeneracy, after which I vowed to hold a Spitesgiving at Dutchington Manor, this year. Well, after a year of public screaming matches, copious pill and alcohol abuse, fistfights, destructive relationships, a nightclub banishment, several arrests, shoplifting (thanks, McGee), gambling, and a little cocaine, compared to last year’s mild pill-abuse and gambling, I’m keeping my word.
My roommate Danial and I are hosting what’s going to be the worst Thanksgiving on the books, because we’re bad people and don’t like our super Christian families and friends.
I invited way more people than I thought I could seat, because it makes it funnier. I only have four chairs, right now, if you count a very small Barcalounger. For table space, I have a long, ovular casino-grade poker table, which should seat 10, and a stolen conduit spool, which may or may not seat the rest, depending on whether or not anyone even comes.
The menu is as follows:
First course: An apple. Everyone gets an apple.
Second (main): Hotpockets, which I’ll refuse to admit are Hotpockets.
Final course: A bowl of Skittles and a spoon.
The basic schedule looks something like this:
Arrive at 4PM, when I’ll probably answer the door with bed-head and in sweats, groggily.
‘Til 5PM, I’ll work the room, using off-color and inappropriate language, and telling trippy stories about crimes, gambling, and God-knows-what.
5-8PM: Street Fighter II tournament, between me and and Dan and any of our friends who show.
8PM: The Apple.
8:03PM: My super gay, Black friend, Kevin, will bang on the door, seeking shelter from the cops, wearing FUBU apparel from ‘98. (Update: Kevin can’t make it. I’ve left it in, though, because it’s still funny.)
8:15PM: Hotpockets.
9PM: Skittles, which I’ll make a big fuss about being a real treat.
9:30-?: Street Fighter II cash matches, played with high cursing-levels, and huge stacks of money being passed around.
Through this, Dutch will steal Thanksgiving.
One thing we don’t agree on is the musical selection. I feel something classic like The Chipmunks’ Christmas would work as a kind of demented counterpoint (points for reference) to the dereliction, while Danial feels we should be bumpin' some kind of super violent or dirty hip-hop. Thoughts?
(Unfortunately it's not going to happen, because no one is going to come, so it's basically just going to be me and my roommate playing SF and scarfing Hotpockets.)
#4
Dirtydutch
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Posted 21 November 2007 - 07:27 PM
QUOTE (Tactical Bear @ Wednesday, November 21st, 2007, 7:11 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Every year I celebrate by hoping Shitty Aunt Gail gets juuuust out of line enough that I can call her "stupid cunt" and not be disowned by my family. I think this year is going to be the year! Fingers crossed!
I called my cousin Amy a psycho twat this Easter. (Un)Fortunately no one else heard me.
#5
BigDMcGee
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Posted 21 November 2007 - 07:30 PM
I'm going to leave an old wool pox ridden blanket, a bottle of whiskey and a toy train out on my front step, and hope the great father spirit leaves me Manhattan island while I'll asleep
"We are only wise in knowing that we know nothing"
-Socrates
"Dust. Wind. Dude."
-Ted Theodore Logan
SN: BigDMcGee on Stars and UB. I do NOT have a full tilt account because those Richers won't give me rakeback.
#6
grocery_mony
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Posted 21 November 2007 - 07:34 PM
I love thanksgiving in your country. I was in vegas once during Thanksgiving and the food was incredible. Stuff yourself with incredible food and watch football all day, sounds like paradise to me. We have thanksgiving in Canada in October but its not the same. The whole 4 day weekend going into the holiday season rocks.
#7
BigDMcGee
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Posted 21 November 2007 - 07:40 PM
I'm actually going to be cooking pasta all day 'cause my dad hates turkey, pinko that he is.
"We are only wise in knowing that we know nothing"
-Socrates
"Dust. Wind. Dude."
-Ted Theodore Logan
SN: BigDMcGee on Stars and UB. I do NOT have a full tilt account because those Richers won't give me rakeback.
#8
Dirtydutch
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Posted 21 November 2007 - 07:41 PM
QUOTE (BigDMcGee @ Wednesday, November 21st, 2007, 7:40 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I'm actually going to be cooking pasta all day 'cause my dad hates turkey, pinko that he is.
Sounds like a cool guy; turkey is guy.
#9
Flushgarden
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Posted 21 November 2007 - 08:01 PM
I'll be alone all day...probably online playing poker and watching football and eating canned ravioli. Thanksgiving for us will be on Saturday.
-Danny
#10
showstopper24
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SKADOOSH!
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Posted 21 November 2007 - 08:03 PM
I am doing everything that I would normally do, just not going to work.
W.W.J.B.D-What Would Jack Bauer Do?
_____ That's what she said!
_____ That's what she said!
#11
SuitedAces21
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forever emma
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Posted 21 November 2007 - 08:52 PM
QUOTE (showstopper24 @ Thursday, November 22nd, 2007, 12:03 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I am doing everything that I would normally do, just not going to work.
1. Wake up
2. Eat, shower, dress, brush teeth.
3. Pop in 24 season 2 DvD
4. Get lotion and tissues
5. Abuse thyself for over and over again.
6. Cry.
Somehting like that?
#12
hank213
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it takes determination to be a drunk
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Posted 21 November 2007 - 10:02 PM
QUOTE (BigDMcGee @ Wednesday, November 21st, 2007, 9:30 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I'm going to leave an old wool pox ridden blanket, a bottle of whiskey and a toy train out on my front step, and hope the great father spirit leaves me Manhattan island while I'll asleep
awesome.
Hank's tenure at Soulsuckers, INC, LLC, DBA TBD, had not been long, but it had been distinguished... By drunkenness, hair-trigger violence, and a total lack of performance. I would call it a steady decline in performance, but that would imply that he performed at one point in time. In fact he had not. He was drunk.
QUOTE (Napa_Don @ Monday, August 15th, 2011, 5:52 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Last week I drink the majority of a twelve pack of light beer out of the cutoff end of a whiffle bat, how's that for cultured, bitches"
#13
chrozzo
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hi™
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Posted 21 November 2007 - 10:24 PM
1. Wake up somewhere
2. Get more hormone shots
3. Eat a steak
4. Thisnk about what suitedaces is doing
5. Its late at night....take a wild guess what im doing (hint: im not having sex)
6. Sleep somewhere
2. Get more hormone shots
3. Eat a steak
4. Thisnk about what suitedaces is doing
5. Its late at night....take a wild guess what im doing (hint: im not having sex)
6. Sleep somewhere
FCP CBO: Chief Beer Officer
I'm kind of a big deal.
I'm kind of a big deal.
#14
Loismustdie
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What year is this?
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Posted 21 November 2007 - 10:49 PM
QUOTE (Dirtydutch @ Wednesday, November 21st, 2007, 8:24 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Dutch vs. God II: Thanksgiving ‘07
Some of you may remember my blowup, last Thanksgiving, where I left during a huge, uncomfortable family gathering, where everyone was obsessed with my gambling and degeneracy, after which I vowed to hold a Spitesgiving at Dutchington Manor, this year. Well, after a year of public screaming matches, copious pill and alcohol abuse, fistfights, destructive relationships, a nightclub banishment, several arrests, shoplifting (thanks, McGee), gambling, and a little cocaine, compared to last year’s mild pill-abuse and gambling, I’m keeping my word.
My roommate Danial and I are hosting what’s going to be the worst Thanksgiving on the books, because we’re bad people and don’t like our super Christian families and friends.
I invited way more people than I thought I could seat, because it makes it funnier. I only have four chairs, right now, if you count a very small Barcalounger. For table space, I have a long, ovular casino-grade poker table, which should seat 10, and a stolen conduit spool, which may or may not seat the rest, depending on whether or not anyone even comes.
The menu is as follows:
First course: An apple. Everyone gets an apple.
Second (main): Hotpockets, which I’ll refuse to admit are Hotpockets.
Final course: A bowl of Skittles and a spoon.
The basic schedule looks something like this:
Arrive at 4PM, when I’ll probably answer the door with bed-head and in sweats, groggily.
‘Til 5PM, I’ll work the room, using off-color and inappropriate language, and telling trippy stories about crimes, gambling, and God-knows-what.
5-8PM: Street Fighter II tournament, between me and and Dan and any of our friends who show.
8PM: The Apple.
8:03PM: My super gay, Black friend, Kevin, will bang on the door, seeking shelter from the cops, wearing FUBU apparel from ‘98. (Update: Kevin can’t make it. I’ve left it in, though, because it’s still funny.)
8:15PM: Hotpockets.
9PM: Skittles, which I’ll make a big fuss about being a real treat.
9:30-?: Street Fighter II cash matches, played with high cursing-levels, and huge stacks of money being passed around.
Through this, Dutch will steal Thanksgiving.
One thing we don’t agree on is the musical selection. I feel something classic like The Chipmunks’ Christmas would work as a kind of demented counterpoint (points for reference) to the dereliction, while Danial feels we should be bumpin' some kind of super violent or dirty hip-hop. Thoughts?
(Unfortunately it's not going to happen, because no one is going to come, so it's basically just going to be me and my roommate playing SF and scarfing Hotpockets.)
Some of you may remember my blowup, last Thanksgiving, where I left during a huge, uncomfortable family gathering, where everyone was obsessed with my gambling and degeneracy, after which I vowed to hold a Spitesgiving at Dutchington Manor, this year. Well, after a year of public screaming matches, copious pill and alcohol abuse, fistfights, destructive relationships, a nightclub banishment, several arrests, shoplifting (thanks, McGee), gambling, and a little cocaine, compared to last year’s mild pill-abuse and gambling, I’m keeping my word.
My roommate Danial and I are hosting what’s going to be the worst Thanksgiving on the books, because we’re bad people and don’t like our super Christian families and friends.
I invited way more people than I thought I could seat, because it makes it funnier. I only have four chairs, right now, if you count a very small Barcalounger. For table space, I have a long, ovular casino-grade poker table, which should seat 10, and a stolen conduit spool, which may or may not seat the rest, depending on whether or not anyone even comes.
The menu is as follows:
First course: An apple. Everyone gets an apple.
Second (main): Hotpockets, which I’ll refuse to admit are Hotpockets.
Final course: A bowl of Skittles and a spoon.
The basic schedule looks something like this:
Arrive at 4PM, when I’ll probably answer the door with bed-head and in sweats, groggily.
‘Til 5PM, I’ll work the room, using off-color and inappropriate language, and telling trippy stories about crimes, gambling, and God-knows-what.
5-8PM: Street Fighter II tournament, between me and and Dan and any of our friends who show.
8PM: The Apple.
8:03PM: My super gay, Black friend, Kevin, will bang on the door, seeking shelter from the cops, wearing FUBU apparel from ‘98. (Update: Kevin can’t make it. I’ve left it in, though, because it’s still funny.)
8:15PM: Hotpockets.
9PM: Skittles, which I’ll make a big fuss about being a real treat.
9:30-?: Street Fighter II cash matches, played with high cursing-levels, and huge stacks of money being passed around.
Through this, Dutch will steal Thanksgiving.
One thing we don’t agree on is the musical selection. I feel something classic like The Chipmunks’ Christmas would work as a kind of demented counterpoint (points for reference) to the dereliction, while Danial feels we should be bumpin' some kind of super violent or dirty hip-hop. Thoughts?
(Unfortunately it's not going to happen, because no one is going to come, so it's basically just going to be me and my roommate playing SF and scarfing Hotpockets.)
I wanna be a part of this. I can already taste the skittles.
So much for a comeback.
#15
Dirtydutch
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Posted 21 November 2007 - 10:53 PM
QUOTE (Loismustdie @ Wednesday, November 21st, 2007, 10:49 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I wanna be a part of this. I can already taste the skittles.
Fine, but you have to use Ken.
#16
Jadaki
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IIOY?
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Posted 21 November 2007 - 10:57 PM
Wake up
Shower
Shit
Shave
Shine
Shampoo
Get dressed
Go scrape snow off my car
Go to work
Play poker on my laptop
Eat whatever gets catered in
Take a long lunch to watch football
Drive home
Go to bed
Shower
Shit
Shave
Shine
Shampoo
Get dressed
Go scrape snow off my car
Go to work
Play poker on my laptop
Eat whatever gets catered in
Take a long lunch to watch football
Drive home
Go to bed
#17
bleacherbum3
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Lovable Loser
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Posted 21 November 2007 - 11:15 PM
I'll be at work, casinos don't close.
Sucks cuz I'd rather crash Dutch's shindig. I love Skittles.
Sucks cuz I'd rather crash Dutch's shindig. I love Skittles.
INTERNATIONAL SUPERSTAR
#18
sandwedge
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Posted 22 November 2007 - 12:00 AM
QUOTE (bleacherbum3 @ Thursday, November 22nd, 2007, 1:15 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I'll be at work, casinos don't close.
Me too. I'll be dealing to the 3-6 donks all night.
Funny thing, Dutch. Earlier tonight, I bought some Hotpockets for my Thanksgiving feast. For dessert, I'll be having Little Debbie swiss cake rolls.
I'M LIKE WTF I JUST PAID 4K YOU DONKEY I'M ****ING SHOOTING THE GUN!
-Mark
#19
TB17
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Running all over your shit
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Posted 22 November 2007 - 02:20 AM
take a midterm.
Goodbye FCP.
#20
SAM_Hard8
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Mr. Aniston, FCP Right Wing Whacko
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Posted 22 November 2007 - 07:43 AM
you can always celebrate her birth 23 years ago today
My blog
"Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read."
- Groucho Marx
"Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read."
- Groucho Marx
QUOTE (Mercury69 @ Monday, December 20th, 2010, 5:24 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Aren't we all just parasites living on God's frozen turdballs anyway? Every time God takes a shit, a new galaxy is born. The Milky Way is just a bad case of diarrhea.
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