scram 1 Posted November 22, 2007 Share Posted November 22, 2007 Me, watching FB and praying I cover my marks. That's how I'm going to give thanks to America.To celebrate the Native American contributions, I'm going to get drunk and pretend that I'm chronically unemployable. Link to post Share on other sites
Tactical Bear 3 Posted November 22, 2007 Share Posted November 22, 2007 Me, watching FB and praying I cover my marks. That's how I'm going to give thanks to America.To celebrate the Native American contributions, I'm going to get drunk and pretend that I'm chronically unemployable.Every year I celebrate by hoping Shitty Aunt Gail gets juuuust out of line enough that I can call her "stupid cunt" and not be disowned by my family. I think this year is going to be the year! Fingers crossed! Link to post Share on other sites
Dirtydutch 9 Posted November 22, 2007 Share Posted November 22, 2007 Dutch vs. God II: Thanksgiving ‘07Some of you may remember my blowup, last Thanksgiving, where I left during a huge, uncomfortable family gathering, where everyone was obsessed with my gambling and degeneracy, after which I vowed to hold a Spitesgiving at Dutchington Manor, this year. Well, after a year of public screaming matches, copious pill and alcohol abuse, fistfights, destructive relationships, a nightclub banishment, several arrests, shoplifting (thanks, McGee), gambling, and a little cocaine, compared to last year’s mild pill-abuse and gambling, I’m keeping my word. My roommate Danial and I are hosting what’s going to be the worst Thanksgiving on the books, because we’re bad people and don’t like our super Christian families and friends. I invited way more people than I thought I could seat, because it makes it funnier. I only have four chairs, right now, if you count a very small Barcalounger. For table space, I have a long, ovular casino-grade poker table, which should seat 10, and a stolen conduit spool, which may or may not seat the rest, depending on whether or not anyone even comes.The menu is as follows:First course: An apple. Everyone gets an apple. Second (main): Hotpockets, which I’ll refuse to admit are Hotpockets. Final course: A bowl of Skittles and a spoon.The basic schedule looks something like this:Arrive at 4PM, when I’ll probably answer the door with bed-head and in sweats, groggily. ‘Til 5PM, I’ll work the room, using off-color and inappropriate language, and telling trippy stories about crimes, gambling, and God-knows-what.5-8PM: Street Fighter II tournament, between me and and Dan and any of our friends who show.8PM: The Apple.8:03PM: My super gay, Black friend, Kevin, will bang on the door, seeking shelter from the cops, wearing FUBU apparel from ‘98. (Update: Kevin can’t make it. I’ve left it in, though, because it’s still funny.)8:15PM: Hotpockets.9PM: Skittles, which I’ll make a big fuss about being a real treat.9:30-?: Street Fighter II cash matches, played with high cursing-levels, and huge stacks of money being passed around. Through this, Dutch will steal Thanksgiving. One thing we don’t agree on is the musical selection. I feel something classic like The Chipmunks’ Christmas would work as a kind of demented counterpoint (points for reference) to the dereliction, while Danial feels we should be bumpin' some kind of super violent or dirty hip-hop. Thoughts?(Unfortunately it's not going to happen, because no one is going to come, so it's basically just going to be me and my roommate playing SF and scarfing Hotpockets.) Link to post Share on other sites
Dirtydutch 9 Posted November 22, 2007 Share Posted November 22, 2007 Every year I celebrate by hoping Shitty Aunt Gail gets juuuust out of line enough that I can call her "stupid cunt" and not be disowned by my family. I think this year is going to be the year! Fingers crossed!I called my cousin Amy a psycho twat this Easter. (Un)Fortunately no one else heard me. Link to post Share on other sites
BigDMcGee 3,367 Posted November 22, 2007 Share Posted November 22, 2007 I'm going to leave an old wool pox ridden blanket, a bottle of whiskey and a toy train out on my front step, and hope the great father spirit leaves me Manhattan island while I'll asleep Link to post Share on other sites
grocery_mony 9 Posted November 22, 2007 Share Posted November 22, 2007 I love thanksgiving in your country. I was in vegas once during Thanksgiving and the food was incredible. Stuff yourself with incredible food and watch football all day, sounds like paradise to me. We have thanksgiving in Canada in October but its not the same. The whole 4 day weekend going into the holiday season rocks. Link to post Share on other sites
BigDMcGee 3,367 Posted November 22, 2007 Share Posted November 22, 2007 I'm actually going to be cooking pasta all day 'cause my dad hates turkey, pinko that he is. Link to post Share on other sites
Dirtydutch 9 Posted November 22, 2007 Share Posted November 22, 2007 I'm actually going to be cooking pasta all day 'cause my dad hates turkey, pinko that he is.Sounds like a cool guy; turkey is guy. Link to post Share on other sites
Flushgarden 0 Posted November 22, 2007 Share Posted November 22, 2007 I'll be alone all day...probably online playing poker and watching football and eating canned ravioli. Thanksgiving for us will be on Saturday. Link to post Share on other sites
showstopper24 0 Posted November 22, 2007 Share Posted November 22, 2007 I am doing everything that I would normally do, just not going to work. Link to post Share on other sites
SuitedAces21 2,741 Posted November 22, 2007 Share Posted November 22, 2007 I am doing everything that I would normally do, just not going to work.1. Wake up2. Eat, shower, dress, brush teeth.3. Pop in 24 season 2 DvD4. Get lotion and tissues5. Abuse thyself for over and over again.6. Cry.Somehting like that? Link to post Share on other sites
hank213 1,824 Posted November 22, 2007 Share Posted November 22, 2007 I'm going to leave an old wool pox ridden blanket, a bottle of whiskey and a toy train out on my front step, and hope the great father spirit leaves me Manhattan island while I'll asleepawesome. Link to post Share on other sites
chrozzo 19 Posted November 22, 2007 Share Posted November 22, 2007 1. Wake up somewhere2. Get more hormone shots3. Eat a steak4. Thisnk about what suitedaces is doing5. Its late at night....take a wild guess what im doing (hint: im not having sex)6. Sleep somewhere Link to post Share on other sites
Loismustdie 0 Posted November 22, 2007 Share Posted November 22, 2007 Dutch vs. God II: Thanksgiving ‘07Some of you may remember my blowup, last Thanksgiving, where I left during a huge, uncomfortable family gathering, where everyone was obsessed with my gambling and degeneracy, after which I vowed to hold a Spitesgiving at Dutchington Manor, this year. Well, after a year of public screaming matches, copious pill and alcohol abuse, fistfights, destructive relationships, a nightclub banishment, several arrests, shoplifting (thanks, McGee), gambling, and a little cocaine, compared to last year’s mild pill-abuse and gambling, I’m keeping my word. My roommate Danial and I are hosting what’s going to be the worst Thanksgiving on the books, because we’re bad people and don’t like our super Christian families and friends. I invited way more people than I thought I could seat, because it makes it funnier. I only have four chairs, right now, if you count a very small Barcalounger. For table space, I have a long, ovular casino-grade poker table, which should seat 10, and a stolen conduit spool, which may or may not seat the rest, depending on whether or not anyone even comes.The menu is as follows:First course: An apple. Everyone gets an apple. Second (main): Hotpockets, which I’ll refuse to admit are Hotpockets. Final course: A bowl of Skittles and a spoon.The basic schedule looks something like this:Arrive at 4PM, when I’ll probably answer the door with bed-head and in sweats, groggily. ‘Til 5PM, I’ll work the room, using off-color and inappropriate language, and telling trippy stories about crimes, gambling, and God-knows-what.5-8PM: Street Fighter II tournament, between me and and Dan and any of our friends who show.8PM: The Apple.8:03PM: My super gay, Black friend, Kevin, will bang on the door, seeking shelter from the cops, wearing FUBU apparel from ‘98. (Update: Kevin can’t make it. I’ve left it in, though, because it’s still funny.)8:15PM: Hotpockets.9PM: Skittles, which I’ll make a big fuss about being a real treat.9:30-?: Street Fighter II cash matches, played with high cursing-levels, and huge stacks of money being passed around. Through this, Dutch will steal Thanksgiving. One thing we don’t agree on is the musical selection. I feel something classic like The Chipmunks’ Christmas would work as a kind of demented counterpoint (points for reference) to the dereliction, while Danial feels we should be bumpin' some kind of super violent or dirty hip-hop. Thoughts?(Unfortunately it's not going to happen, because no one is going to come, so it's basically just going to be me and my roommate playing SF and scarfing Hotpockets.) I wanna be a part of this. I can already taste the skittles. Link to post Share on other sites
Dirtydutch 9 Posted November 22, 2007 Share Posted November 22, 2007 I wanna be a part of this. I can already taste the skittles.Fine, but you have to use Ken. Link to post Share on other sites
Jadaki 1 Posted November 22, 2007 Share Posted November 22, 2007 Wake upShowerShitShaveShineShampooGet dressedGo scrape snow off my carGo to workPlay poker on my laptopEat whatever gets catered inTake a long lunch to watch footballDrive homeGo to bed Link to post Share on other sites
bleacherbum3 9 Posted November 22, 2007 Share Posted November 22, 2007 I'll be at work, casinos don't close.Sucks cuz I'd rather crash Dutch's shindig. I love Skittles. Link to post Share on other sites
sandwedge 30 Posted November 22, 2007 Share Posted November 22, 2007 I'll be at work, casinos don't close.Me too. I'll be dealing to the 3-6 donks all night.Funny thing, Dutch. Earlier tonight, I bought some Hotpockets for my Thanksgiving feast. For dessert, I'll be having Little Debbie swiss cake rolls. Link to post Share on other sites
TB17 0 Posted November 22, 2007 Share Posted November 22, 2007 take a midterm. Link to post Share on other sites
SAM_Hard8 50 Posted November 22, 2007 Share Posted November 22, 2007 you can always celebrate her birth 23 years ago today Link to post Share on other sites
SuitedAces21 2,741 Posted November 22, 2007 Share Posted November 22, 2007 you can always celebrate her birth 23 years ago todayI'll be celebrating that very occassion later tonight. I'll light some candles, put on some Barry White....and well.....you know.... Link to post Share on other sites
Buckeye Hughes 0 Posted November 22, 2007 Share Posted November 22, 2007 I'll be celebrating that very occassion later tonight. I'll light some candles, put on some Barry White....and well.....you know....Chrozzo lets you out of the basement for special occasions, huh? Link to post Share on other sites
showstopper24 0 Posted November 22, 2007 Share Posted November 22, 2007 3. Pop in 24 season 2 DvDI love you.you can always celebrate her birth 23 years ago todayI love you. Link to post Share on other sites
SuitedAces21 2,741 Posted November 22, 2007 Share Posted November 22, 2007 I love you.I love you too, man. I know we've had our differences over the years. But goddammit, its a holiday. Lets spread the love. Link to post Share on other sites
jmkiser 0 Posted November 23, 2007 Share Posted November 23, 2007 So far I have finally awaken...let's see....1. Shower2. Find a bar that's open to watch the Colts game at3. Head to the casino for some guppy-size 3-6 action4. Come home to 6 recorded episodes of Law and Order: SVU Oh yeah, and somewhere in the middle of all of that... Jack in the Box for my Thanksgiving feast.Today's a good day Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now