HangukMiguk 8 Posted September 18, 2007 Share Posted September 18, 2007 Short story: I'm leaving FCP & Poker. Goodbye.Long story for those who care: I'm done. It's been a rough year, a lot of people know that already. But poker is not making it any easier on me. And that's why I have to quit.I'm not quitting because I think poker is sinful. I don't believe that. And I'm not quitting because I'm behind. I'm not, I'm a winning player. I believe to the extreme I've been playing it, however, that is destroying me.I have no social life. I've alienated most of my family to the point where they hate my guts. All my friends are worried about me, and I give them no reason not to worry, because I isolate from them. On top of that, I have been dealing with severe depression over the last few months. Crap, I've been dealing with depression for years, but was afraid to admit it, for the fact that I would actually have to admit that I have problems.I have been hospitalized for depression...twice...in the last two months. Each time I've let myself get to the brink of suicide before admitting I needed help. And I do. And the more I look at it, the more poker is detracting from my ability to get help. I can be on my way and feeling great, but if a losing session comes along, when you're depressed, it's hard not to take it personal.On top of that, as much as it pains me, I am not going to be coming around these parts now. At all. First off: why go to a poker forum if I'm not playing anymore? And most importantly, coming around here makes me think of playing, and that can lead down a vicious cycle. So, I have to leave.I do have some good things facing me down this line. I'm moving back to Southern Illinois, getting my own apartment, and going to be back around my friends, who should be able to keep my time occupied. One of my friends is working on getting some people together to start up a band upon my return, which I've been wanting to for a while now. I'm going back to church, which is pretty important to me, and I'm in the process of returning to school.Was the last two years a mistake? No. I'm grateful I got a chance to play, and grateful to have some good memories from this place and what I've done. But now it's time to move on.And yes, my bros in the Hideout, I still want to keep in touch with you guys. Most of you have me on either facebook or myspace, which I'll be checking from time to time, so keep in touch with me on there. Most of you have my cell number, and that should change soon, but I'll update my info on facebook when that happens.But I want to thank you guys for the memories, and for the homies who held my head above water when I needed it. I love a lot of you, would like to kick a few of you in the crotch if I saw you, but thanks for the memories anyway.Peace. I'll check in on this thread, so send love/hate/etc. below. Link to post Share on other sites
DrawingDeadInDM 0 Posted September 18, 2007 Share Posted September 18, 2007 Short story: I'm leaving FCP & Poker. Goodbye.Peace. I'll check in on this thread, so send love/hate/etc. below.-CookieMonster, ClayAiken, HHH, GrammarPolice, and every otherYou do realize that like, 86% of the FCP population doesn't play poker, right?In all seriousness, good luck getting everything together. Not always easy, but, take care. Link to post Share on other sites
Balloon guy 158 Posted September 18, 2007 Share Posted September 18, 2007 Good luck God bless Link to post Share on other sites
HangukMiguk 8 Posted September 18, 2007 Author Share Posted September 18, 2007 You do realize that like, 86% of the FCP population doesn't play poker, right?In all seriousness, good luck getting everything together. Not always easy, but, take care.ROFL. I realize that, but I also realize that spending my time on this board will make me want to play. It's habit.For the record, I wasn't Clay Aiken.Good luck God blesstyty Link to post Share on other sites
hblask 1 Posted September 18, 2007 Share Posted September 18, 2007 I have no social life. I've alienated most of my family to the point where they hate my guts.You say that like it's a bad thing....Seriously, good luck. If you can't do it in moderation and keep it in balance, it probably is best to stay away. I've finally found that balance between obsessed and committed. Like you, my downswings became an excuse to be mad at my family, at myself, at my job. I've since found poker's appropriate place in my life. Even so, it's a tough balance. If you play as a hobby, it gets expensive. If you play to win, it's easy to shut out those close to you.Hopefully someday you'll find the balance too, and can come back to a game you obviously enjoy. In the meantime, I'll miss seeing your posts. Check in when you get it together..... Link to post Share on other sites
HangukMiguk 8 Posted September 18, 2007 Author Share Posted September 18, 2007 You say that like it's a bad thing....Seriously, good luck. If you can't do it in moderation and keep it in balance, it probably is best to stay away. I've finally found that balance between obsessed and committed. Like you, my downswings became an excuse to be mad at my family, at myself, at my job. I've since found poker's appropriate place in my life. Even so, it's a tough balance. If you play as a hobby, it gets expensive. If you play to win, it's easy to shut out those close to you.Hopefully someday you'll find the balance too, and can come back to a game you obviously enjoy. In the meantime, I'll miss seeing your posts. Check in when you get it together.....POTD. Hopefully this can happen to me. But if not, then it won't. But regardless, I feel confident that this is the right step to take. Link to post Share on other sites
JoeyJoJo 20 Posted September 18, 2007 Share Posted September 18, 2007 For the record, I wasn't Clay Aiken.That was probably your best chance of me remembering you. Link to post Share on other sites
wsox8 10 Posted September 18, 2007 Share Posted September 18, 2007 Best of luck to you in the rest of your life. Link to post Share on other sites
socalpoker_j 1 Posted September 18, 2007 Share Posted September 18, 2007 Thought this was going to be the lyrics to a Sarah Mclachlan song. Link to post Share on other sites
HangukMiguk 8 Posted September 18, 2007 Author Share Posted September 18, 2007 Thought this was going to be the lyrics to a Skynyrd song.FYP? Link to post Share on other sites
Canuckickstan 2 Posted September 18, 2007 Share Posted September 18, 2007 Good luck man. Sounds like he right decision for you right now. I think most of us that play online can relate in a way. Be good to your self !! Link to post Share on other sites
hank213 1,824 Posted September 18, 2007 Share Posted September 18, 2007 So long and thanks for all the fish. Link to post Share on other sites
socalpoker_j 1 Posted September 18, 2007 Share Posted September 18, 2007 FYP?No, Mclachlan is definitely gayer. Definitely fits. Link to post Share on other sites
eYank 0 Posted September 18, 2007 Share Posted September 18, 2007 You know what's best for you and obv. you need to do thisGL with everything you do Link to post Share on other sites
Dirtydutch 9 Posted September 18, 2007 Share Posted September 18, 2007 Heavy. As much as I seem to be trying to **** my life up, some of the shit you've been dealt over the last year or so is beyond my understanding, and I'd probably not have been able to make the smart decision here. Well done, and good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
socalpoker_j 1 Posted September 18, 2007 Share Posted September 18, 2007 Hang,You're not pulling a Mister B goodbye thread are you? If so, I'd like some commendation and recognition.Otherwise, best of luck. Link to post Share on other sites
SBriand 4 Posted September 18, 2007 Share Posted September 18, 2007 Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
HangukMiguk 8 Posted September 18, 2007 Author Share Posted September 18, 2007 Hang,You're not pulling a Mister B goodbye thread are you? If so, I'd like some commendation and recognition.Otherwise, best of luck.what? you mean leaving and then coming back in a short order? no.i'm not saying that i won't eventually be back, but i'm not coming back until i get stuff straight, if i come back. Link to post Share on other sites
Kuge 0 Posted September 18, 2007 Share Posted September 18, 2007 Seriously, good luck in life. I wish the best for you.You are one of my favorite posters here and you gotta do what you feel is right. Link to post Share on other sites
LongLiveYorke 38 Posted September 18, 2007 Share Posted September 18, 2007 One more joke account post for old time's sake? Link to post Share on other sites
ShakeZuma 586 Posted September 18, 2007 Share Posted September 18, 2007 so who do you want to kick in the crotch? Link to post Share on other sites
Cookie Monster 0 Posted September 18, 2007 Share Posted September 18, 2007 One more joke account post for old time's sake? Link to post Share on other sites
HangukMiguk 8 Posted September 18, 2007 Author Share Posted September 18, 2007 so who do you want to kick in the crotch?Most of those tards are long gone. I'd actually have to think a minute before I could list anyone. Link to post Share on other sites
Jeepster80125 0 Posted September 18, 2007 Share Posted September 18, 2007 Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
runthemover 40 Posted September 18, 2007 Share Posted September 18, 2007 One more joke account post for old time's sake?who? Link to post Share on other sites
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