Southern Buddhist 1 Posted January 15, 2010 Share Posted January 15, 2010 A beautiful woman will court a man who is uncircumcised in the flesh and lie against his breast with great passion, for he thrusts inside her a long time because of the foreskin, which is a barrier against ejaculation in intercourse. Thus she feels pleasure and reaches an orgasm first. When an uncircumsised man sleeps with her and then resolves to return to his home, she brazenly grasps him, holding on to his genitals and says to him, "Come back, make love to me." This is because of the pleasure that she finds in intercourse with him, from the sinews of his testicles -- sinews of iron -- and from his ejaculation -- that of a horse -- which he shoots like an arrow in her womb. They are united without separating, and he makes love twice and three times in one night -- yet the appetite is not filled. And so he acts with her night after night. The sexual activity emaciates him of his bodily fat and afflicts his flesh, and he devotes his brain to women, an evil thing.But when a circumcised man desires the beauty of a woman and cleaves to his wife -- or to another woman comely in appearance -- he will find himself perfoming his task quickly, emitting his seed as soon as he inserts the crown. He has an orgasm first; he does not hold back his strength. As soon as he begins intercourse with her, he immediately comes to a climax. She has no pleasure from him when she lies down or when she arises, and it would be better for her if he had not known her, for he arouses her passion to no avail, and she remains in a state of desire for her husband, ashamed and confounded, while the seed is still in her "reservoir." She does not have an orgasm, except on rare occasions because of the great heat and the fire burning within her. Thus he who says, "I am the Lord's" will not empty his brain because of his wife or the wife of his friend. He will find grace and good favor; his heart will be strong to seek out God.Written circa 1250 in France. From the current issue of Lapham's Quarterly.Thoughts? Comments? Link to post Share on other sites
Mercury69 3 Posted January 15, 2010 Share Posted January 15, 2010 Lies and I can prove it. Link to post Share on other sites
Tactical Bear 3 Posted January 15, 2010 Share Posted January 15, 2010 Seems about right to me.My sexual performance has been characterized anywhere from "[frowny face]" to "satisfactory: check-plus." My wang has been circumcised, and I believe I drank so much in my youth, in large part, due to the combination of shame (from poor ejaculatory control) as well as the resultant benefits of dulled down-south sensation (leading to improved ejaculatory control).Circumcision has made me a self-loathing drunk. I was also born with comically large testicles, which annoys me to no end. "Come on. Was that just an either/or coin-flip I lost in the womb or something?" Link to post Share on other sites
Mercury69 3 Posted January 15, 2010 Share Posted January 15, 2010 "comically large testicles" ftw lol Link to post Share on other sites
dolfan 0 Posted January 15, 2010 Share Posted January 15, 2010 ...from the sinews of his testicles -- sinews of iron -- and from his ejaculation -- that of a horse -- which he shoots like an arrow in her womb. Thoughts?I think I need to find a way to slip this into a casual conversation at some point. Link to post Share on other sites
colonel Feathers 5 Posted January 15, 2010 Share Posted January 15, 2010 Is this the proper forum for this? Link to post Share on other sites
BaseJester 1 Posted January 15, 2010 Share Posted January 15, 2010 I suspect this was written by an uncircumcised man. :-)I am uncircumcised and haven't had complaints about prematurely finishing, but I believe that's in-spite of not due-to intact foreskin. I haven't experienced sex without foreskin, so it's not very good science. Link to post Share on other sites
Southern Buddhist 1 Posted January 15, 2010 Author Share Posted January 15, 2010 Is this the proper forum for this? Is there a proper forum for this?I suspect this was written by an uncircumcised man. :-)Actually, that's one of the ironies of the piece -- it was written by a Jewish Talmudic scholar. Self-hating???I've never been with a fully intact man, so I've no basis for comparison either. All I know is Charlotte's line from Sex and the City: "It looked like a Shar-Pei!" Link to post Share on other sites
Southern Buddhist 1 Posted January 15, 2010 Author Share Posted January 15, 2010 I think I need to find a way to slip this into a casual conversation at some point.Yeah, testicular sinews got my attention, too, but testicles of iron and horse ejaculations are otherwise good solid images. Link to post Share on other sites
SweetDee 0 Posted January 15, 2010 Share Posted January 15, 2010 That's ridiculous. It's all in how you penetrate the pussy and stimulate the clitoris simultaneously, and if you can involve the anus a bit that's just a +1. Good story, though. Link to post Share on other sites
chrozzo 19 Posted January 16, 2010 Share Posted January 16, 2010 thats what she said! Link to post Share on other sites
Nikki_N 17 Posted January 16, 2010 Share Posted January 16, 2010 SB, your threads are some of my favorites.I prefer the uncircumsized penis to the circumsized ones. They are more fun to play with.I think the climaxing thing is more a matter of self control because uncircumsized penises must get a little desensitized to friction anyway. Also, an uncircumsized penis looks pretty much like a circumsized penis when it is fully erect. The head is completely unsheathed. You'd think that this normally protected from head would be more sensitive when out of its jacket and, if the author's theory is correct, would lead to a quicker ejaculation. Think about baseball or something until the girl gets off a couple of times. Link to post Share on other sites
Nikki_N 17 Posted January 16, 2010 Share Posted January 16, 2010 Arrows of ejaculation into the womb sounds a little scary, btw. Link to post Share on other sites
Dirtydutch 8 Posted January 16, 2010 Share Posted January 16, 2010 http://bumpshack.com/2008/05/06/tim-tebow-...-filipino-boys/ Link to post Share on other sites
El Guapo 8 Posted January 16, 2010 Share Posted January 16, 2010 Who the hell is going to click on a link from Dutch that says Tim Tebow....filipino boys? Link to post Share on other sites
Dirtydutch 8 Posted January 16, 2010 Share Posted January 16, 2010 Who the hell is going to click on a link from Dutch that says Tim Tebow....filipino boys?I am a lot of things, but homosexual isn't one of them. Sexualizing young boys is a disgusting act, and not something I would ever involve myself with. Link to post Share on other sites
Southern Buddhist 1 Posted January 16, 2010 Author Share Posted January 16, 2010 Who the hell is going to click on a link from Dutch that says Tim Tebow....filipino boys?I clicked. It's not gay at all, but the whole hygiene/lack of training part was a little gross. Link to post Share on other sites
vbnautilus 48 Posted January 16, 2010 Share Posted January 16, 2010 There's an anti-circumcision guy on the boardwalk here, I have read his pamphlet a couple times. Basically he is angry for having his foreskin stolen from him. They have a reconstructive surgery now to put it back. Link to post Share on other sites
qyayqi 11 Posted January 16, 2010 Share Posted January 16, 2010 There's an anti-circumcision guy on the boardwalk here, I have read his pamphlet a couple times. Basically he is angry for having his foreskin stolen from him. They have a reconstructive surgery now to put it back.doctors keep them all in storage Just In Case? would they store them in earthenware jars or stacked on carven rods? i don't like the idea of my amputated foreskin touching another guy's amputated foreskin. Link to post Share on other sites
speedz99 145 Posted January 16, 2010 Share Posted January 16, 2010 doctors keep them all in storage Just In Case? would they store them in earthenware jars or stacked on carven rods? i don't like the idea of my amputated foreskin touching another guy's amputated foreskin.I don't know anything about the storage, but I know that doctors freeze dry the foreskins so they'll last longer. Link to post Share on other sites
Nikki_N 17 Posted January 16, 2010 Share Posted January 16, 2010 I had my oldest son circumsized about a day after he was born. I regretted it as soon as I saw the wound. Also, he was clearly in pain. I opted not to have my youngest son circumsized. He's never had any infection problems or difficulties with cleanliness. I'm really glad I didn't have his penis mutilated. Link to post Share on other sites
Southern Buddhist 1 Posted January 17, 2010 Author Share Posted January 17, 2010 doctors keep them all in storage Just In Case? would they store them in earthenware jars or stacked on carven rods? i don't like the idea of my amputated foreskin touching another guy's amputated foreskin.I had an incredibly dear friend who was hilariously funny and very believable. He could lie to you all day long, and not only would you believe him but you'd like him all the more for it, even when you found out the truth.He once completely convinced a non-Jewish girl that what happened at a bar mitzvah was that after reciting all the Torah stuff, the super-secret, super-Jewish ceremony began. All the women had to leave, and the boy's own foreskin, which had been saved from his bris, was brought out and he had to eat it.Then he sat back and waited for her to tell other people. Link to post Share on other sites
SBriand 4 Posted January 17, 2010 Share Posted January 17, 2010 ducts Link to post Share on other sites
Southern Buddhist 1 Posted January 17, 2010 Author Share Posted January 17, 2010 ducts :lol:I see another entry in the world's worst porn phrases Mad Libs: "She groaned as the spasm of his testicular sinews shot an arrow of sex milk into her squelching duct." Link to post Share on other sites
Southern Buddhist 1 Posted January 17, 2010 Author Share Posted January 17, 2010 There's an anti-circumcision guy on the boardwalk here, I have read his pamphlet a couple times. Basically he is angry for having his foreskin stolen from him. They have a reconstructive surgery now to put it back.They have pills for that, too. Link to post Share on other sites
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