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the krablar: an introduction tothe besthand in poker


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So, a friend of mine, his brother and I were at my friends house, watching him play. Me and his brother were flipping through the Super/system 1's "Hand Name list" We were up late, and pretty goofy, and for some reason King-3=King Crab struck us as really funny, particularlly since it's such a bad hand. So my friend ends up raising a pot with King Crab, and winning, and my friend's brother stood up, and did this hilarious dance, where he pinches his fingers, and dances back and forth horizontally, imitating a crab. Well, I thought this dance was freaking hilarious. So funny, that I promised I would do it if I got the chance at My local brick and mortar card room. So I'm playing 4-8, and the game is weak, and loosish... 4-5 people seeing flops, not a lot of preflop raising, or raising in general, some calling, but not an insane amount. A solid game. Well, I've been playing tight and aggressive, and I've gotten some what of an image as a rock at the card room, so I don't get the action that I want. Well, on this one hand, there were 4 callers, and me on the button with K-3 of spades. So I raise it up, the blinds call. The flop comes down King-queen-x, and two hearts, I think. Everyone checks, I bet, 4 callers.. * yikes.. but all well.. I didn't get that much stregth from anyone. The turn comes an x, check around to me, I bet, 3 callers. The river comes another x, check around, I bet ( because I wanted to represent stregth here, for advertizing purposes, plus I got no real stregth from anyone else, so I thought my K was proably good) one caller, and I win the pot... So the lady, a reasonably good, if ABC player looks at me, mystified, as raising with K3 went way away from my table image. And I said" Well, if I don't raise on King Crab, I won't win with King Crab" A pause, and she nods, still confused... then I say" and if I don't win with King Crab, I can't dance.... at which point I stand up, and Start crab dancing away... now, the entire table is looking at Me like I'm completely crazy, and I cackle Caro style, and stack my chips. Since then, King Crab has become part of my arsenal. I don't play it all the time, and I will only raise with it, taking the lead. I only play it a) if I'm the first one in the pot for a raise B) a loose raise who I have a good read on raises with it, and I re raise. c) I'm on the button with suited crab into a huge multiway pot, where I raise, and hope I get a free card, or what not. Not only have I won a staggering amount of the pots I've entered with this hand ( In my mind, since it's such a seemingly shitty hand) I've gotten insane action from it... Every time I bluff with it, and win the hand uncontested, I show it. Every time I win, I ALWAYS do the crab dance. Most of the time, I play a tight, aggressive, ABCish game. But now I've gotten insane action from people, who have gotten the crab dance... It sticks in your craw... here's the thinking " How can that punk raise with King f***ing three! doesn't he know I have QQ (or AK or what ever). Then this punk f***ing dances after he beat me wit hthat rag... I'll show him..... " and then I proceed to punk people with my real hands. Also, the Krabler ( as I now call it) has had unexpected benefits. So this dude, B, who's a young, weak, watched too much TV player, typical weak frat guy type play, but nice enough, plays a hand up front... a whole bunch of callers, including a friend ( albeit terrible player) J calls on the button, and i"m in the big blind with jack-7. Checks are good. The flop comes down 337. I check, B bets out, folds around to J, who raises. I fold, B re raises, and J caps. Now, at this point, I put B on Ace 3, because that's the only hand that makes since for him to have from up front, maybe he slowplayed aces or kings like the nub he is, but I think A3 makes since. J could have had k3, as he is versed in the ways of the Krablar, but I think he would have raised back, so I put him on either Ace 3, or some suited hand with a 3 in it, as he will often foolishly play. But I'm pretty sure B has J beat with kicker. So the turn comes a 10. B checks, J bets, and B calls. Now I think, well, Maybe B does have a pocket pair. A (seemingly) harmless 6 comes on the river, and B bets out, and I'm thinking "Ace 3 it is" J raises B. B makes a crying call. J had 3-6 offsuit, which he limped in foolishly on the button with, for a full house. B shakes his head, turns to me, and shows me... the KRABLAR!!! and whines " Dude, I only played this hand because of you..." and I laugh and laugh and laugh. Not only am I getting more action 'cause of the Krablar, but now nub players at my local card room are playing the Krablar, poorly, weakly, and out of position, because It's My favorite hand. I couldn't believe it. Anyway, I just wanted to share with you how thinking far outside the box can pay amazing dividends..

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funny read and good post, but definitely press enter a few times and make paragraphs--it makes it a lot easier to read.aseem

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J could have had k3, as he is versed in the ways of the Krablar
this made me laugh real hard
what's really funny is that I didn't put him on the krablar, beacause I knew he would have raised preflop with the krablar.. I didn't put that right in the original post. Plus, J gets this goofy look, like a kid stealing a cookie look, when he has the Krablar. I admit I might too.. I often smile and giggle to myself when I have it.. Don't know if anyone's picked up on this on my 4-8 game, but I definatly have a krablar tell, that i've been trying to work on ( think about the for a second.. most people try and hide their glee with AA or KK... I try and hide it with k3.... hahahahahahahaha)
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Located right above your right shift key is an enter key. Please use it liberally.
I know, I know.. having a little indent in the text makes it SOOOO much easier to read.. .I'll do better next time, dad, I promise.
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.....someone else likes to actually have fun playing poker. Good post.
Dude, I know right? I play with these grumpy old guys all the time, who don't raise with aces, 'cause don't they always get beat, then bitch and bitch with j-5, or the krablar suck out on them, and get so pissed. While I play to win, I can pretty much only win when I'm in a good mood. So goofing around has worked well for me.. I dress strange, I listen to gangster rap, I dance, and bop around, and I get way more action than when I first started played, and was a quiet, thoughtful rock. I play pretty tight ( for my game, at least) but the LAST thing I want is for people to notice that, so I want them to look at the monkey. the ancilary sp? My vocab is better than my spelling) effect is that it also makes me laugh and happy, which is also good for my game
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Well, if I don't raise on King Crab, I won't win with King Crab...and if I don't win with King Crab, I can't dance....
you are my new god.
There is no god, but Krablar. I am only his prophet.
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That's a good story - plus a good lesson. If you only raise with, for example, AA, KK, QQ, and AK, your opponents will eventually get a read on you. So, add to your premium hands one or two random hands that you will always raise with - like the King Crab. You pointed out many benefits of this - like you get more action, and it is harder to get a read on you.Peace,Opie

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Well, if I don't raise on King Crab, I won't win with King Crab...and if I don't win with King Crab, I can't dance....
you are my new god.
There is no god, but Krablar. I am only his prophet.
:D As a disciple of Smasharoo, I find this quote both hilarious and blasphemous. Well done.
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That's a good story - plus a good lesson. If you only raise with, for example, AA, KK, QQ, and AK, your opponents will eventually get a read on you. So, add to your premium hands one or two random hands that you will always raise with - like the King Crab. You pointed out many benefits of this - like you get more action, and it is harder to get a read on you.Peace,Opie
Now, much has been said about the worthlessness of advertisement in low limit games, 'cause people aren't paying much attention anyway, but I don't really agree. Yes, advertisement often is a waste of money, as people often aren't that attentive. Yet, if you play only big hands, hour after hour, week after week, and you play in a small card room, people will start to notice, after a while, and stop giving you action. Now, if you play a terrible hand like K3, raise with it, and DANCE an insane dance after you win, saying " Pinch Pinch, Pinch Pinch" under your breath.. this is something that people can't ignore, that will stick in their mind and their craw for a long time... Notice, internet players, how little value advertising with Krablar will have online, since you don't have the dance as a Hammer to stick that hand in their mind. In short, don't just raise on garbage once in a while, make sure everyone KNOWS you do...
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Wot's smasharoo, and how dare it rise to usurp his holiness, the Krablar... ( Please, please please don't confuse the might of Krablar with his foul mistress, the Quablar... she will only lead you hell with her siren's song and temptation).

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can I use that quote on the jacket of the soon to be released book verison of that post, suited up?
Haha... Sure, knock yourself out.Edit: Wait, I get some sort of kickback for this right?
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