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You Might Be A Christian If.....


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#41 Balloon guy

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Posted 12 October 2010 - 06:35 PM

View PostMills, on Tuesday, October 12th, 2010, 7:34 PM, said:

this applies to both
But the joke only works one way.And it's on YOU! :club:
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View Postmrdannyg, on 22 April 2013 - 09:26 AM, said:

Every single person (except Bob) has posted things in this thread that would qualify as a hate crime in any other first-world country in the world.

#42 timwakefield

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Posted 12 October 2010 - 06:58 PM

View PostBalloon guy, on Tuesday, October 12th, 2010, 10:26 PM, said:

If you believe that wings formed slowly over millions of years and were considered beneficial to the animal while still being unusable...
They were useful as camouflage.
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#43 timwakefield

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Posted 12 October 2010 - 07:00 PM

View PostBalloon guy, on Tuesday, October 12th, 2010, 10:28 PM, said:

What if you were raised in an agnostic home and became a Christian through seeking the truth?
That still doesn't show me why your idea of "the truth" would be more likely to be correct than the version of "the truth" that 90% of the rest of the world has arrived at by the same means as you but which is incompatible with your "truth."
Maury Wills once told me that there will come a point in my career when everyone in the ballpark will know that I have to steal a base, and I will steal that base. - Dave Roberts

#44 Balloon guy

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Posted 12 October 2010 - 07:06 PM

The Bible told me so?
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View Postmrdannyg, on 22 April 2013 - 09:26 AM, said:

Every single person (except Bob) has posted things in this thread that would qualify as a hate crime in any other first-world country in the world.

#45 timwakefield

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Posted 12 October 2010 - 09:50 PM

View PostBalloon guy, on Tuesday, October 12th, 2010, 11:06 PM, said:

The Bible told me so?
Other ancient holy books say other things. By what means have you decided that the Bible is the correct book? Does it just feel true? Don't you think all other religions deeply feel that their books are true?
Maury Wills once told me that there will come a point in my career when everyone in the ballpark will know that I have to steal a base, and I will steal that base. - Dave Roberts

#46 Balloon guy

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Posted 13 October 2010 - 06:14 AM

View Posttimwakefield, on Tuesday, October 12th, 2010, 10:50 PM, said:

Other ancient holy books say other things. By what means have you decided that the Bible is the correct book? Does it just feel true? Don't you think all other religions deeply feel that their books are true?
I am convinced the Bible we have is accurate to the original and that the prophecies that it predicted have come to pass. It's supernatural origin is shown to be true through its prophecies.I believe that it is reasonable for the Creator to want to speak to His creation, and I see the problems of life dealt with in a manner that makes sense.I believe that God has shown Himself to me enough times to warrant my faith.And I believe that if anyone asks God to show Himself to them, He will meet them on a level they need to be met on.
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View Postmrdannyg, on 22 April 2013 - 09:26 AM, said:

Every single person (except Bob) has posted things in this thread that would qualify as a hate crime in any other first-world country in the world.

#47 Roll the Bones

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Posted 13 October 2010 - 01:39 PM

If you say grace over your value meal at McDonalds, then avoid the homeless guy in the parking lot...Too many sixes in a number makes you nervousYou think, "Smile, Jesus loves you,” is a valid cure for depressionYou don't understand why everyone can't see the truths in the bible as clearly as you can
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#48 Balloon guy

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Posted 13 October 2010 - 04:16 PM

View PostRoll the Bones, on Wednesday, October 13th, 2010, 2:39 PM, said:

If you say grace over your value meal at McDonalds, then avoid the homeless guy in the parking lot...Too many sixes in a number makes you nervousYou think, "Smile, Jesus loves you,” is a valid cure for depressionYou don't understand why everyone can't see the truths in the bible as clearly as you can
I can't lie.Two of these really hit home.
I use my cigar smoke as idiot repellent

View Postmrdannyg, on 22 April 2013 - 09:26 AM, said:

Every single person (except Bob) has posted things in this thread that would qualify as a hate crime in any other first-world country in the world.

#49 timwakefield

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Posted 13 October 2010 - 06:21 PM

View PostBalloon guy, on Wednesday, October 13th, 2010, 10:14 AM, said:

I am convinced the Bible we have is accurate to the original and that the prophecies that it predicted have come to pass. It's supernatural origin is shown to be true through its prophecies.
Weren't most of the prophecies fulfilled a long long long time ago? If a book from 2,000 years ago tells me that there were all these prophecies and then tells me how those prophecies were fulfilled, well I don't see how that's proof of anything. Can you list me some specific prophecies that have come to pass, and can be verified as occurring and having occurred after the prophecy of that event was written? Nostrodamus was famously prophetic too, but I don't attribute any supernatural abilities to him. His style of throwing a thousand darts at a dart board kind of ensured him that some of them would be bullseyes. They're also open to various interpretations.Most of the prophecies I've heard of in the Bible involve events in ancient times. And I think the Bible tells of Jesus' second coming and also the Armageddon - those are the most famous prophecies I've heard of. Are there any similar, enormous events that were prophesied a long time ago and subsequently came true?
Maury Wills once told me that there will come a point in my career when everyone in the ballpark will know that I have to steal a base, and I will steal that base. - Dave Roberts

#50 Balloon guy

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Posted 13 October 2010 - 10:22 PM

View Posttimwakefield, on Wednesday, October 13th, 2010, 7:21 PM, said:

Weren't most of the prophecies fulfilled a long long long time ago? If a book from 2,000 years ago tells me that there were all these prophecies and then tells me how those prophecies were fulfilled, well I don't see how that's proof of anything. Can you list me some specific prophecies that have come to pass, and can be verified as occurring and having occurred after the prophecy of that event was written? Nostrodamus was famously prophetic too, but I don't attribute any supernatural abilities to him. His style of throwing a thousand darts at a dart board kind of ensured him that some of them would be bullseyes. They're also open to various interpretations.Most of the prophecies I've heard of in the Bible involve events in ancient times. And I think the Bible tells of Jesus' second coming and also the Armageddon - those are the most famous prophecies I've heard of. Are there any similar, enormous events that were prophesied a long time ago and subsequently came true?
The book of Daniel prophesied the next 4 world powers, From Babylon, to the Medo-Persians to the Greeks under Alexander, to the splitting of them into 4 smaller ones to the Romans, describing them in a manner that is pretty awesome.The only way this can be discounted by secular scholars is to date Daniel much much later, but archeological discoveries show that the writer of Daniel had knowledge of the make up of the Babylonian capital and their customs in a manner not possible to the people of later days.Also in Daniel is the prophecy that there would be 69 'weeks' from the declaration to rebuild the Temple until the coming of Messiah. The weeks here mean 7 years. Given the 360 day calender of the time, this would make the time from the rebuilding till the Messiah to be 476 years as described by our calender.The decree to rebuild was given in 444BC by King Artaxerxes, 476 years later was 33 AD, the time Christ returned to Jerusalem and was crucified for the sins of the world. ( year zero comes into play to get exact year)The city of Tyre was prophesied to be not only destroyed, but every stone removed from the city in Ezekiel 26:4 , and it would never be rebuilt.The city was destroyed by someone, and the survivors relocated to an island for Tyre 2.When Alexander the Great came to destroy Tyre2, he took all the stones from the old city and threw them into the sea to build a causeway that allowed his army to march and destroy Tyre1. It has not been rebuilt. The stones still lay in the water.There are more, but these are what comes to mind quickly.Clarence Larkin drew same crazy cool chartsof the prophecies of Daniel that were pretty cool
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View Postmrdannyg, on 22 April 2013 - 09:26 AM, said:

Every single person (except Bob) has posted things in this thread that would qualify as a hate crime in any other first-world country in the world.

#51 BaseJester

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Posted 14 October 2010 - 03:51 AM

View PostBalloon guy, on Thursday, October 14th, 2010, 2:22 AM, said:

Also in Daniel is the prophecy that there would be 69 'weeks' from the declaration to rebuild the Temple until the coming of Messiah. The weeks here mean 7 years. Given the 360 day calender of the time, this would make the time from the rebuilding till the Messiah to be 476 years as described by our calender.
I find the connection between these events and the prophecy to be impressive. Impressive here means retarded.
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#52 brvheart

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Posted 14 October 2010 - 07:05 AM

View Posttimwakefield, on Wednesday, October 13th, 2010, 9:21 PM, said:

Weren't most of the prophecies fulfilled a long long long time ago? If a book from 2,000 years ago tells me that there were all these prophecies and then tells me how those prophecies were fulfilled, well I don't see how that's proof of anything. Can you list me some specific prophecies that have come to pass, and can be verified as occurring and having occurred after the prophecy of that event was written? Nostrodamus was famously prophetic too, but I don't attribute any supernatural abilities to him. His style of throwing a thousand darts at a dart board kind of ensured him that some of them would be bullseyes. They're also open to various interpretations.Most of the prophecies I've heard of in the Bible involve events in ancient times. And I think the Bible tells of Jesus' second coming and also the Armageddon - those are the most famous prophecies I've heard of. Are there any similar, enormous events that were prophesied a long time ago and subsequently came true?
Because we have proof that the prophecies were written before some of them occurred. We also know that the events happened. (Unless you're Crow and think you sound smart to question the fact that a person named Jesus even existed.) The dead sea scrolls were "accidentally" found just about the same time that science was overtaking religion around 1950. They were written in 100BC, and were exact copies of the Bible we have today, which in itself is incredible. As I'm sure BG already said (I don't actually read many posts), many of the prophecies contained in the Bible happened after 100BC. Specifically Jesus being in the line of David, check. Jesus being born in Bethlehem. check. Jesus being killed. check. The temple being destroyed. check. The temple not being rebuilt. check. (Sidenote: How have the Jews not rebuilt the temple in 2000 years, if it was historically, their only connection with God? It seems pretty unfathomable.) There are many many more.
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View PostSuitedAces21, on 20 August 2012 - 11:14 AM, said:

tilt you suck.

View PostEssay21, on 25 February 2013 - 08:32 PM, said:

titly suck a dick bitch

#53 Roll the Bones

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Posted 14 October 2010 - 09:47 AM

If you can watch somebody speaking in tongues without calling an ambulance.If you believe God made sex feel good and then told you that sex was only for procreation ...if you took your kids to the creation museum in Kentucky so that they could learn some "real" history
As Eric Idle wrote: You know, you come from nothing - you're going back to nothing. What have you lost? Nothing!

#54 Roll the Bones

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Posted 14 October 2010 - 10:22 AM

Posted Image
As Eric Idle wrote: You know, you come from nothing - you're going back to nothing. What have you lost? Nothing!

#55 Balloon guy

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Posted 14 October 2010 - 11:02 AM

View PostBaseJester, on Thursday, October 14th, 2010, 4:51 AM, said:

I find the connection between these events and the prophecy to be impressive. Impressive here means retarded.
That is smart if you want to remain an atheist.Because if you don't continually redefine words at will to meet your bias, you will become trapped by the truth.And here truth means truth.A prophecy that tells the year the Messiah will appear is found to be accurate 476 years later ( or 12.5 generations by RT ) and you discount it because it would require you to spend too much time trying to 'prove' that the book of Daniel was written after 33 AD so they could fool us with this prophecy.Of course then you are stuck with explaining how a backwoods part of the Roman empire had accurate historical data regarding decrees by Persian kings from 12.5 generations ago and could integrate dating methods to fool people in the 21st century.If I were you I would then redefine the word honesty...it's your only out.
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View Postmrdannyg, on 22 April 2013 - 09:26 AM, said:

Every single person (except Bob) has posted things in this thread that would qualify as a hate crime in any other first-world country in the world.

#56 vbnautilus

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Posted 14 October 2010 - 12:11 PM

I prophesize that later this week, I will eat a slice of pizza. If this prophesy comes true, this thread will probably become the basis for a new religion. Exciting times.

#57 Balloon guy

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Posted 14 October 2010 - 12:19 PM

View Postvbnautilus, on Thursday, October 14th, 2010, 1:11 PM, said:

I prophesize that later this week, I will eat a slice of pizza. If this prophesy comes true, this thread will probably become the basis for a new religion. Exciting times.
I will leave a lizard in my backyard, if at the end of a week it hasn't spontaneously grown wings and learned to fly, then I will have all the proof I need that evolution is false.Exciting times indeed.
I use my cigar smoke as idiot repellent

View Postmrdannyg, on 22 April 2013 - 09:26 AM, said:

Every single person (except Bob) has posted things in this thread that would qualify as a hate crime in any other first-world country in the world.

#58 Skeleton Jelly

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Posted 14 October 2010 - 12:26 PM

I'm hoping the lizard grows wings and then swoops in and eats vb's pizza.

#59 Balloon guy

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Posted 14 October 2010 - 12:35 PM

View PostSkeleton Jelly, on Thursday, October 14th, 2010, 1:26 PM, said:

I'm hoping the lizard grows wings and then swoops in and eats vb's pizza.
That would leave us both in a bit of a quandary...I would probably claim God did it and continue on my way.If you ever claim "God did it and I believe it" so that you don't have to face tough questions....
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View Postmrdannyg, on 22 April 2013 - 09:26 AM, said:

Every single person (except Bob) has posted things in this thread that would qualify as a hate crime in any other first-world country in the world.

#60 Roll the Bones

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Posted 14 October 2010 - 02:12 PM

View PostBalloon guy, on Thursday, October 14th, 2010, 4:35 PM, said:

That would leave us both in a bit of a quandary...I would probably claim God did it and continue on my way.If you ever claim "God did it and I believe it" so that you don't have to face tough questions....
haha, you crack me up.
As Eric Idle wrote: You know, you come from nothing - you're going back to nothing. What have you lost? Nothing!




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