The Blender

[vbnautilus 48]

This thread is a place to discuss and appreciate internet junk. The supposed crap we find in spam threads, junk mail, and the other parts of the net which many toss-aside without a care. The flotsam and jetsam of our medium. I understand why these threads are deleted. Most are created by half-human cyborgs for nefarious purposes. But seen from another perspective the language is poetry, small bits of meaning stitched together from our unconscious. This is hopefully a place we can save these items for our reflection. I'll start us off with this gem from last night, posted by our colleague Alexey. Title: How To Find Code To Game Farm 3.Subtitle: The whole Google searched, working crack hack to mini-game Farm F

Hello, dear colleagues. Sorry that it was not on site Testforum.com writing.Wea'can please where to get the key or breaking a toy Farm Frenzy 3 & Farm Frenzy 2 though-be? Kids games very much, but they were not complete and is now asking the keys. All Internet searched, working crack and the key to the game not found!'ll Show where to get or buy at a reasonable price. Write please on the forum or on my mail <redacted>Sincerely Alexey.

Alexey searched the entire Google before finally and desperately coming to us for help. As brvheart noticed, he even took the time to set up an avatar: Note the clever use of underline to obscure where the links were. Nice work, Alexey. ---Rules for this thread: please remove any links and email addresses from your specimens.

[JoeyJoJo 18]

Yes!

[JubilantLankyLad 1,957]

I'll contribute.This guy seems to like to try and determine what makes us tick. He posts what looks like inconsequential minutiae but in reality he is deeply analyzing every response for further insight. Your junk is his treasure. He's quite odd. Also, blue.

[JoeyJoJo 18]

Yes!

[Balloon guy 158]

Rules for this thread: please remove any links and email addresses from your specimens.

I'm not pointing fingers but someone above me posted a link...Here is a recent Email that I will be saving for a raining day when I need the money:

Internal Revenue Service (IRS)United States Department of the TreasuryDear Taxpayer,After the last annual calculations of your fiscal activity we havedetermined that you are eligible to receive a tax refund of $2403.80.Please submit the tax refund request and allow us 6-9 days in orderto process it.A refund can be delayed for a variety of reasons. For example submitting invalid records or applying after the deadline.To access your tax refund, use the form attached to this email.Regards,Internal Revenue Service

the tip off that it was a scam is their 6-9 days to process a refund....Not on this planet bub

[vbnautilus 48]

the tip off that it was a scam is their 6-9 days to process a refund....Not on this planet bub

oh I thought this part might tip you off

Dear Taxpayer

[uncooper 1]

Did anyone else notice that our favorite pan-forum evangelitroll bumped his own thread with a mere: about a week ago?

[qyayqi 11]

read this in a car review:"Like any other Toyota vehicles that I have owned, this one is no exception."

[Gallo 1]

[dna4ever 2]

Everytime i see this topic title I think of the movie Rock Star and the song that goes something like "This next song ......I would like to dedicate to some one who when i first met .........ripped my heart out............ and put it through a bloody blender!"

[nutzbuster 7]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=En1-lEOmcjU...player_embedded

[chrozzo 19]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=En1-lEOmcjU...player_embedded

thats sexy!

[JoeyJoJo 18]

Yes!

Who knows where to download XRumer 5.0 Palladium? Help, please. All recommend this program to effectively advertise on the Internet, this is the best program!

I didn't find this one to be particularly poetic.

[Sal Paradise 57]

god damn it. they deleted it too quick.

[vbnautilus 48]

Yes!I didn't find this one to be particularly poetic.

But it does have some nice details, like her avatar: And formatted signature!

love,sex,emotions..............Oriptnipttyptos

I am particularly intrigued by "Oriptnipttyptos".

[Sal Paradise 57]

I want to know where FranceJal is.

[JubilantLankyLad 1,957]

It was the night before Christmas, and all through the evening I reminisced, fondly reliving past Christmases spent with my family. As a second year nursing student, just nineteen, this was to be the first time I wouldn’t be home on Christmas. Although I knew I would someday be working on Christmas, I never expected to feel this lonely. Secluded in my room, I yearned for the mouth-watering aromas of mom’s freshly baked cookies, hot chocolate and love. The absence of the usual giggling, slamming doors and ringing telephones made the dormitory seem cold and empty. The unappetizing smell of disinfectant replaced my visions of cookies and cocoa. wow power leveling,Standing in front of the mirror, I conversed with my reflection. “You wanted to be a nurse didn’t you? Well, you’re almost a nurse. Now is your chance to find out what Christmas spirit really means.” Determined to make the best of it, I turned in early. “I’ll be home for Christmas. You can count on me...” My faithful clock-radio announced reveille as I slowly dragged myself out of a toasty-warm bed. I trudged across the snow-filled street and grabbed a quick breakfast in the cafeteria before reporting for duty on the medical-surgical unit. world of warcraft gold,As I prepared to take vital signs on my first patient, I was startled by a robust voice that came from behind. “Merry Christmas to you. Want anything from the cafeteria? I’m headed that way Missy.” As I took the stethoscope out of my ears and turned around, from the dimly lit room I could see a gigantic, roly-poly elderly gentleman with long, curly hair, all decked out in a bright red, plaid shirt tucked haphazardly into baggy red trousers. The trousers appeared to be held up by only two, wide, fire-engine-red suspenders that had long since outlived their elasticity. This Santa Claus facsimile was standing in the doorway waiting patiently for an answer to his query. The only thing missing was the beard. As I looked toward the bright hallway lights from the darkened room, I thought for a moment that I was dreaming. “No thanks,” I responded. “I just came on duty. I’ll grab something at lunch.” World of warcraft Power Leveling,Before disappearing down the hall he added, “Name’s George. Just let me know what I can do for you, Missy. I’ll be right back.” As I cared for my patients, George was right alongside. I watched him spread holiday cheer as he became a guest to the patients who had no visitors that day. When trays arrived he knew who needed assistance and who needed to be fed. He read letters and cards to those whose eyes could no longer see the letters on a printed page. George’s powerful body and tender hands were always ready to help hold, turn, pull-up or lift a patient. He was a “gopher” who made countless trips to the supply room for the “needs of the moment.” George also knew when to call for help. While reading a letter to Mr. Jenkins, George noticed that the patient suddenly started to “look funny” and instantly ran to the nurse’s station to summon aid. Thanks to George’s swift action, we managed to reverse the effects of an impending diabetic coma. cd keys,Jovial George clearly enjoyed helping others while he spread cheer and told jokes -- the same jokes, over and over again, all day long, one patient at a time. We all enjoyed his presence that Christmas day. When I finally took my lunch break, I was surprised to find the cafeteria elaborately decorated for the season. I sat down next to one of the staff nurses from the unit. During lunch with Andrea, I had the chance to ask a burning question. “Who is this George fellow? And why is he here on Christmas Day?” “About ten years ago, George’s wife became seriously ill. He spent almost every waking moment by her side. Those two lovebirds were so devoted to one another. There was nothing he wouldn’t do for her.” Andrea stopped for a few moments, sipping her coffee in silence, before continuing. wow power level,“George started to visit other patients while his wife was sleeping or having treatments. He was here so much that he seemed to take naturally to helping out wherever he could.” My natural curiosity made me ask, “Does he have any family?” A serious look came over Andrea’s face as she continued. “They never had children, and as far as I know, there are no relatives. But you see, George watched his wife suffer for a very long time. He shared every second of her pain and anguish. On Christmas Eve night, after I prepared his wife forleep, they prayed together. During the prayer, George promised his wife that if God would take away her misery that night, by taking her ‘home,’ he would spend the rest of his life as a Christmas volunteer.” Andrea and I finished our lunch in silence.

[LadyGrey 6]

Hey, ‘Bones,’ ” my brother, Parker, asked me, "what are you going to be for Halloween?" The elementary school party started at 7:00 PM. The winner of the prize for the most original costume got two free tickets for the Sunday matinee. Parker was dressed and ready to go. I watched him parade in front of the mirror in his pirate costume. He's so handsome, I thought. All the girls in the fifth and sixth grades were madly in love with him. I'd spent the afternoon defending myself from his rubber dagger.world of warcraft gold," I'm not going!" I replied." Why not?"" No costume.""That's dumb," he said. "You hardly need a costume. You're already a perfect scarecrow!" I was used to these observations. Furthermore, he spoke the truth. At twelve, I was already six feet tall and weighed eighty-nine pounds. Tack on red hair and freckles and it added up to one thing: I was a scarecrow. School days were charged with searing taunts. "Down in front." "How's the weather up there?" "Are those skis or shoes?" It was hard to smile back, and even harder to make friends. maple story mesos,I tried plastering my hair down flat on the top of my head and prying the heels off my shoes. I took scalding hot baths, hoping I'd shrink. In bed at night, I put my feet against the footboard, hands against the headboard and pushed, hoping to press myself back together. Nothing worked. So I saved nickels and dimes in a cider jug to pay the future surgeon who would find fame in Ripley's Believe It or Not by cutting six inches of bone from the legs of the tallest girl in the world and making her the same height as everybody else. "When I grow up," I told Parker, as he brandished his cutlass in front of the mirror, "I'm going to live on an island where there's no one to stare." My brother raised his eye patch and looked at me hard.wow gold,"Sounds awful," he said, and left for the party. Alone, I listened to the cheerless night and pictured the costumes my classmates had bought. I had tried on a few, too, but nothing fit. I could picture my classmates in their costumes, having a wonderful time. As I wandered about the house, I remembered happier days-before Mommy and Daddy were separated. When Daddy lived with us, he always made me feel loved and wanted. Seeing him now for short visits wasn't the same. The more I brooded, the more my self-pity grew. Then I spotted a broomstick standing in the kitchen corner. Maybe I could make a costume, I thought. Outside, a sheet and pillowcase billowed on the clothesline. I could be a witch or a ghost. Then my gaze fell on the back of the cellar door. My father's old plaid work shirt, faded overalls, jacket and cap were hanging right where he had left them.wow gold,"I could be a hobo," I murmured as I buried my face in the dusty clothes. But Parker's taunt kept coming back at me. "You're a scarecrow." As much as I hated to admit it, he was right. Well then, a scarecrow was what I'd be. The closer I got to the school, the louder the cheers and clapping became, and the more my fears grew. What if they laughed at me? Worse still, what if they didn't do anything? Hiding behind the tool shed next to the gym, I pulled everything out of the pillowcase and started to dress. Because I was so tall, I could peek through the high window and see everybody taking turns on the stage in quest of the coveted prize. Ghosts, princesses, monsters, cowboys, soldiers and brides-they were all there, clad in store-bought costumes, fragile dreams for one night. My teeth were chattering. Would they clap for me? Would they whistle and cheer? My stomach ached from anticipation.I'll run home! I decided. No one would know I had been there. But Parker came on stage and glanced at the window. It was too late. He had seen me. If I left now, he'd call me chicken. I watched him bow to the audience and listened to the squeals from the girls as he leaped on chairs and tables and parried with his sword. Next, a small gorilla climbed on top of a ladder and ate a banana. Lincoln gave a brief address. Cleopatra danced with a rubber snake in her hands, and a soldier marched and twirled his gun. Only Tarzan remained. ffxi gil,Maneuvering carefully through the entrance, I went in, held my breath and prayed, Please, God, don't let me make a fool of myself. The applause was so loud for the King of the jungle when he gave his call and swung on a curtain rope that no one seemed to notice me walk slowly to the center of the stage. A pillowcase covered my head. With arms outstretched and hands clutching the broomstick inserted through the sleeves of an old plaid shirt, I wore a felt hat and faded overalls stuffed with straw. The room was suddenly still. Nobody clapped. Nobody cheered. The only sound I heard was the hammering of my own heart. I'm going to die, I thought, right here in front of everybody. The world was tilting, and my ears were ringing when the hood slid down my nose, just enough so I could peer through the eyeholes. And that's when I saw my classmates for the first time, as they really were. Petite blonde fairies with golden wands-and steel braces on their teeth. A baseball hero with a bat and mitt-and bottle-thick eyeglasses. A boxer with fighting gloves-sitting in a wheelchair. Someone asked, "Hey, who is that?" "Parker's sister!" They looked at one another, surprise brightening their faces. Clapping and cheering filled the room.

[JubilantLankyLad 1,957]

you didn't make joke links

[Mercury69 3]

I have a scarecrow fetish now.

[LadyGrey 6]

Having read the story now, it seems to send the message that the way to accept your flaws is to look at the most unfortunate people around you and note how much stupider they look - hey, wheelchair kid thinks he's a boxer, what an idiot!

[runthemover 39]

hey, wheelchair kid thinks he's a boxer, what an idiot!

well the chair probably puts him up at least two weight classes. HE'S GOT NO SHOT

[LadyGrey 6]

well the chair probably puts him up at least two weight classes. HE'S GOT NO SHOT

What would his boxing slogan be, "Roll like an armadillo, flail like a fish"? How does he even operate the wheelchair with those gloves on? Is it possible for him to punch above the belt without being hoisted up from his seat by someone?

[speedz99 145]

Why an armadillo? I guess the wheelchair could be considered similar to the animal's shell, but that has nothing to do with rolling. Couldn't he roll like a cartoon hedgehog?

[LadyGrey 6]

Why an armadillo? I guess the wheelchair could be considered similar to the animal's shell, but that has nothing to do with rolling. Couldn't he roll like a cartoon hedgehog?