I Called In Sick Today

[Ouch-8s 4]

I got an hj at a Dave Matthews concert.It was horribly awkward. I broke up with that girl the next day when I met another girl I liked better (my g/f of the past 5 years).

Dave Matthews concert, a few years ago. I'm driving my GF into the city to see the concert. For some reason, her sister is taking the bus back to the city; I don't remember why I didn't drive her too.We get about halfway there, I stop for gas, fill up, and pull back out on the highway. As I am accelerating up to highway speeds, I shift into 2nd, and the clutch falls to the floor. I limp up the road to a pullout and pop the hood. Clutch cable is broken.So I call BCAA, tell them where the car is and ask them to call me and tell me where they had it towed to for repairs. We start hitchhiking to try and get to the concert on time.Eventually the bus comes along, and somehow the Queen's sister sees us on the side of the road and tells the driver to stop. They don't accept cash on this bus, you need to pre-purchase tickets. He lets us on anyways and takes us into the city for free. I am impressed, but very late.We get to the concert, and there are two couples in the seats directly in front of us. College aged, frat-boy looking jocks and their bimbo girlfriends. They are very loud and exuberant. It comes out that it's one of the frat-boys' birthday and they are there as his present. It comes out that they are all on copious amounts of ecstacy. So much that random other people are coming up to them and asking for some, and they assume a 'one for you, one for me' policy. It comes out that the ecstasy is making them all pretty lovey-dovey, and they're doing the big group hug and sway to the music thing. The group hug leads to some touchy-feely groping in the group; one of the guys has his hand up a girl's shirt. One of the girls is grabbing a frat-boy's ass. There is some grinding. My GF and I are watching them with amusement; they are infinately more entertaining than a VERY drunk Dave Matthews.One of the girls gets tired. She sits down. No one notices. The grinding continues. Before long, the two guys are grinding and groping each other, 'without realizing'. Then birthday boy clues in and jumps back. The three of them look a little uncomfortable at how much they were enjoying themselves, until the other guy manages to talk birthday boy back into the melee. There is lots of "I don't know" "I'm not gay" "What is happening?" but eventually the girls talk the two guys into kissing. They are reluctant at first but once they start there is NO stopping them.Birthday boy, boyfriend and girlfriend are all bumping and grinding. Birthday girlfriend is sitting out. Soon girlfriend is too, and it's just the guys, and they are putting on quite a show. Birthday boy is oblivious to the world around him, which isn't a big deal since no-one cares about his newfound appreciation for the male form. Except his girlfriend. She starts to get upset, at first just a mild annoyance, then gradually more, and then when she is unsuccesfull at getting his attention away from his friend, she breaks down and has a full on drug induced anxiety attack. She's alternating between sobbing and screaming, wringing her eyes and flailing away at her boyfriend's back. He finally realizes that he has upset his girlfriend. The boys break their embrace and take a literal and a figurative step back from each other. Lots of quick self-realization occurs and the group slinks out of the concert. I would have enjoyed seeing them in a few hours once their ecstacy haze wears off; I'm sure there was a lot of soul searching required. Loser frat boys. Hehe.So which of you e-gays was that anyways?

My last day he reached in his pocket and gave me a half eaten Mars bar as a gesture of kindness.

Did you immediately punch him in the throat for daring to eat half of your Mars bar?

[gobears 0]

Back on the tipping. I went to restaurant on a date. I explained to the waitress that it was an important occasion and to basically not take any more tables, just wait on us hand and foot and I'd make it worth her while. Then I proceeded to explain in detail the process.Go get two beers and bring them back. After you get back, go put in the appetizer order, grab two more beers and bring them to us. I will give you our food order then. After you turn it in, grab two more beers, etc... basically, if you have to think about whether or not to get beer, just do it.Well, after having to go to the bar twice, wrong appetizers and terrible service, never did get dinner. I hunted her down and found her playing grabass with a bus boy in the crowded bar area. I yelled real loud behind her, EXCUSE ME. She turned around and freaked out, everyone in the bar was looking at this point, and I proceeded to throw a $20 at her and said, "Honey, you phucked up, because this is what I tip for the worst phucking service in the world! You better have better phucking career plans, because you were are the worst waitress in the history of phucking waitresses."

Awesome!By the way, anyone notice that Hobbes changed his avatar/sig etc last night?

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

What's wrong with my list?

nothing(colorPFFFlemonjuice#@@$ if you take it in the ass_]

[ajs510 122]

Did you immediately punch him in the throat for daring to eat half of your Mars bar?

This made me snort out loud...I'm still doing the silent chick-giggle.

Awesome!By the way, anyone notice that Hobbes changed his avatar/sig etc last night?

That made me sad, I wish he'd come back.

[tyfgine 0]

Is this site loading really slowly for anyone else? It talkes a couple of minutes to load a page for me. Don't get me wrong, I got plenty of time, just wondering.

The boys break their embrace and take a literal and a figurative step back from each other. Lots of quick self-realization occurs and the group slinks out of the concert.

Wow that is hilarious. Anyone want to do some e with me?

[Ouch-8s 4]

Wow that is hilarious. Anyone want to do some e with me?

It was pretty sureal. And I don't do e anymore. I'm capable of learning from other people's mistakes...

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

ok Zim, I'll take some ridicule for my lists80's: In no particular order and I'm sure I'm forgetting a big one or twoTesla: Modern Day Cowboy (actually, anything by Tesla)Def Leppard: Too late for Love (or was it 2 Late 4 Love?)Guns and Roses: It's So Easy (I also like L.A. Guns first album alot)Great White: Rock OnPrince: Purple Rain (the song with "do you want him, or do you want me" off that album was a very close second)90's: in no particular orderPearl Jam: AliveTonic: If you could only seesong 6 on the Singles sound track (I think) Chloe Dancer. I loved that song.Candlebox: Cover Me ( I loved that whole CD)Live: I Alone00's: no order, with many more I'm sureDashboard Confessional: Hands Down The Fire Theft: HeavenTool: Jerk OffSnow Patrol: RunJimmy Eat World: No SensitivityThose songs all struck chords one way or another with me. I'm sure I'm forgetting others, like Peter Gabriel's In your Eyes and some other harder songs that I love, but I'll take these songs any day.

[dms26 3]

By the way, anyone notice that Hobbes changed his avatar/sig etc last night?

:sad face:I hope everything works out for him------------------I also saw Turd has a different avatar and title from what I remember and it made me laugh

[Habs Fan 0]

It was pretty sureal. And I don't do e anymore. I'm capable of learning from other people's mistakes...

I miss E. I frothed ALOT on that stuff, and still have vivid memories of my gf making out with my buddy's hot gf, and us just sitting back enjoying the show smiling from ear to ear.My gf going up to EVERY hot chick, telling them how good they looked, getting hugs, massages, touching and feeling so many chicks you don't even know what's going on anymore, etc. . .Aww, Man...I think i'm gonna fucking cry.

[Bizzle 0]

So yeah...I watched all of the USA softball game last night. I definitely have a crush on Cat Osterman. She's taller than I am.

[zimmer4141 0]

I didn't even think she was that tall. Are you that short Peter?

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

So yeah...I watched all of the USA softball game last night. I definitely have a crush on Cat Osterman. She's taller than I am.

she looks like her face caught on fire and her dad put it out with a rake. just kidding, I'd hit it, but she does have skin issues, and she's gotta a 40% chance of being a pudgeball just looking at her face. That, and she is taller, and bigger than you Petey, and probably have to defend your honour in the face of an impending barfight.other than that, perfect.did I mention I'd hit it and be happy about it?

[Shimmering Wang 1]

Oy. I had a pretty sweet experience at the corner market today...http://www.shimmeringwang.blogspot.comI'm probably going to post the story in it's own thread here. It's probably not worthy of it, but I'm in a fucking great mood, today, and figured I'd share my happy-fun-morning-surreal experiences with the rest of the forum.Wang

[ajs510 122]

So yeah...I watched all of the USA softball game last night. I definitely have a crush on Cat Osterman. She's taller than I am.

There was a pitcher playing against Canada the other day who was pretty damn cute (not Jennie Finch, brunette girl with a cute ass). Don't know her name, so I can't post a picture. Keeping in line with the rulez...

[Habs Fan 0]

So yeah...I watched all of the USA softball game last night. I definitely have a crush on Cat Osterman. She's taller than I am.

There's...there's just no easy way to put this.That girl is fucking ugly man. Or, you know, maybe it's just a reeeeeaaaaly bad pic, I don't know, but man....Look at that dental work. And the bad skin. Nope, I wouldn't touch her with yours.

[Bizzle 0]

she looks like her face caught on fire and her dad put it out with a rake. just kidding, I'd hit it, but she does have skin issues, and she's gotta a 40% chance of being a pudgeball just looking at her face. That, and she is taller, and bigger than you Petey, and probably have to defend your honour in the face of an impending barfight.other than that, perfect.did I mention I'd hit it and be happy about it?

There's...there's just no easy way to put this.That girl is fucking ugly man. Or, you know, maybe it's just a reeeeeaaaaly bad pic, I don't know, but man....Look at that dental work. And the bad skin. Nope, I wouldn't touch her with yours.

Yeah, I probably should have found a better pic.

[Shimmering Wang 1]

Ouch-8s story about Frat-boys trippin' ballz

1) This begins to shed some light on the whole "Ouch-8s is Shimmering Wang" thing. Our story-telling styles are pretty different, but the stories themselves seem equally absurd2) Hilarious. The best part might be the bus picking you up. Something out of a Seinfeld episode, except not nearly as Shaunfreude-laden.3) I'm scared to death of E. I don't think I'd start making out with other guys or anything, but I've heard some pretty nasty things about the potential long-term side-effects on pleasure chemicals. I don't know if it's one of those government-program-derived myths, but I've read/heard too much about permanent dopamine/seratonin (?) depletion, even after one use. Scary ****.Wang

[zimmer4141 0]

Ugh, board of JT964, guy calls a $32 bet on the turn and an $80 bet on the river with KT. Also got beat by KT on the other table. I had KJ, flop J98 with 3 hearts, I had Kh. He calls big bets on the flop and turn with a black KT, river Qd.

[ajs510 122]

You ever feel like your personal gas gauge just dropped below E?I'm completely exhausted all of a sudden, I really just want to go to bed right now.

[Shimmering Wang 1]

Ugh, board of JT964, guy calls a $32 bet on the turn and an $80 bet on the river with KT. Also got beat by KT on the other table. I had KJ, flop J98 with 3 hearts, I had Kh. He calls big bets on the flop and turn with a black KT, river Qd.

Are you playing full-ring or shorthanded NL?Don't want to patronize you, but don't get discouraged. Sounds like you're playing great. Did you pay-off on the river in the second hand?Wang

[zimmer4141 0]

Are you playing full-ring or shorthanded NL?Don't want to patronize you, but don't get discouraged. Sounds like you're playing great. Did you pay-off on the river in the second hand?Wang

Shorthanded. I had AQ in that first hand. He checked the river on the second hand and I checked behind.

[Shimmering Wang 1]

You ever feel like your personal gas gauge just dropped below E?I'm completely exhausted all of a sudden, I really just want to go to bed right now.

Did you eat a big carb-laden lunch by any chance? Like mostly breads or fruits or anything? I used to be almost unable to keep my head up after lunch in highschool, even though I loved the class and teacher I had. Took me a long time to realize it was an unavoidable insulin response to the 2 croissant sandwiches and pure-starch french fries I was eating after weight-lifting class everyday...Wang

Shorthanded. I had AQ in that first hand. He checked the river on the second hand and I checked behind.

Did you check the flop on the first hand with your Double-gutter?Wang

[zimmer4141 0]

Ugh, raise pf with AKd, flop T63 with 2 diamonds. Guy bets 8, I raise to 22, he reraises to 60, I push for 180 and he calls with TT. Turn Kh, River 3.

[ajs510 122]

Did you eat a big carb-laden lunch by any chance? Like mostly breads or fruits or anything? I used to be almost unable to keep my head up after lunch in highschool, even though I loved the class and teacher I had. Took me a long time to realize it was an unavoidable insulin response to the 2 croissant sandwiches and pure-starch french fries I was eating after weight-lifting class everyday...

Yup, pizza and pasta from the Pizza Hut buffet. You're so wise. Currently sucking down the caffeine goodness of a cold Diet Coke, hopefully I'll be shipshape in a minute or two.

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

Yup, pizza and pasta from the Pizza Hut buffet. You're so wise. Currently sucking down the caffeine goodness of a cold Diet Coke, hopefully I'll be shipshape in a minute or two.

1st Response:OMFGhilarious.Don't get me wrong, I can only drink diet soda as well, based purely on taste, but it doesn't make it any less funny.2nd Response:Diet is going well I see.Tubby b1tch