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The Biatch's Barbershop


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I'm jealous that a lot of other people have their other threads. Monkey has his monkey prop bets thread, zach has his playoff bracket, pez dispenser has the well, serge has his high roller, and this rick tocchet guy has the experience. Well it's time for the Biatch's Barbershop. The point of this thread is for all things Biatch and also to laugh at me as I will have a goal. I will start with $200 and try to turn it into $1000 using sports bets. Also I wanted to create this thread, so I didn't clog up the RTE. This bet will sometimes have hockey bets, sometimes, baseball bets, sometimes basketball bets, sometimes even curling bets. The goal is just to get to $1000. Every day I bet, I will make four bets, three single bets which I feel the strongest about, and then a parlay of all 3 bets. Call it stupid yes, but that's me the biatch.Also feel free to comment about the weather, starbuck, panda bears (sorry I have a garbage in my room that is a Panda Bear and I just saw it), and PC White Cheddar Macaroni (bc that is the best ever). Sorry I'm putting this in the hockey thread, it's just I have no friends in the general sports thread. :(Love-Biatch

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We are very honoured to have Serge as the first member of the Barbershop.Bets for Tonight.Starting Bankroll: 200Toronto Blue Jays WIN (+117) @ Chicago White SoxRisk $10 to win $11.70Chicago Cubs WIN (+116) @ St. Louis CardinalsRisk $10 to win $11.60New York Rangers/Washington Capitals OVER 5.0Risk $10 to win $7.41Toronto WIN, Chicago Cubs WIN, NY/WAS OVER 5.0 (3 Way Parlay)Risk $5 to win $35.80

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A little of the sides please. I like this place I may be a regular.Tell us about yourself biatch. Do you enjoy long walks on the beach? Soft or Hard ice cream? Asian, white, or black? Roulette or Craps? Long term girlfriend or hookers? I need to know more about you.

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Biatch has something like 1400 pics on facebook..Its a record among my friends anyway..He is hilarious.

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Well Pez Dispenser, thank you for asking, I think you and that Serge fellow will enjoy the starbuck in the lobby of the Barbershop, here are the answers.Do you enjoy long walks on the beach?No, I grew up near the beach, so I'm sick of it. I always used to get sand in my shoes, then I would get sand all over the house and father would yell at me. Soft or Hard Ice CreamNeither, I'm a pure gelato fan as there is a Pure Gelato across the road from my house, and I know a bunch of the girls who work there, so I get it for free. Although I'm not a huge sugar fan in general. If I had to choose though, I would choose hard ice cream, because then you can gloat that you have it, and other people don't for a longer period. With soft ice cream, you just look like an idiot because it melts onto your hand. Asian, White, or BlackAll my girlfriends have been white, except for one asian. Weird since I'm an asian, I guess. But growing up in the country, there were only white people around me, and I guess I have now grown acustom (is that a word?) to it. Roulette or CrapsI suck at both. If I had to choose Craps though just because it's funny to yell things like seven after the come out roll to see everyone give their version of the evil eye. Long Term Girlfriend or HookerI've never been with a hooker. For starters, I don't think I can afford one, and for seconds, I think she might kill the biatch. I've only really had one long term girlfriend, which was for two years. Other then that it's been mostly in the 3-6 month range. Lately, I've just been on and off with this one girl for a couple of months. And I've decided everyday to now include with my bets a story about my day to help you learn a little about me. Story of the Day: Today I was taking a number two (that means a poop), and usually I like to read something to help the time go by faster, which usually means SI magazines. But my roomates and I are moving out soon, so we had no SI articles in the washroom since everything is being packed. Well I ended up reading the back of the shampoo bottle and the ingredients. I saw things like ammonium lauryl sulfate and tetrasodium EDTA. Pretty scary shit, no wonder old people get bald.

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Ouch 1/4 to start off :(Will make my picks tommorow morning.
I have a feeling the sports betting will be the least of this thread's hall-of-fame worthiness.Thats not a shot at your sports prognostication skills, more so a compliment to your entertainment value.I'll be looking forward to your daily "new in the life of Biatch" column.BRB.......gonna go read MY shampoo bottles.
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Thanks Arp Dude.Day 2 Balance: $186.70New idea in the bets, strongest bet gets bet double the amount.NO Hornets -4.5 vs Denver Nuggets @ -110Risk: 20.00 Potential Winnings: 18.18San Antonio Spurs @ Dallas Mavericks Over 188.0 @ -110Risk: 10.00 StraightPotential Winnings: 9.09Anaheim Ducks @ San Jose Sharks Over 5.0 @ -110Risk: 10.00 StraightPotential Winnings: 9.091 x 5.00 3 Play Parlays (3 above)Risk: 5.00Potential Winnings: 29.79Biatch Story of the Day: I am scared of puppets. Yes puppets. Sock puppets, hand puppets, sesame street puppets, you name it. They scare the bejesus out of me. When I was six, my little brother played and I played this trust game where I would close my eyes, and he would tell me to go left, right, straight, etc. Anyways, one day we were on the 1st level of the house, he told me to go left, which meant I fell down the stairs to the basement. It hurt and I fell into this box, and a puppet fell onto me. I have blamed that puppet (Kermit) ever since for that very hard fall. Damn you Kermit the Frog, damn you!

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Story of the Day: Today I was taking a number two (that means a poop), and usually I like to read something to help the time go by faster, which usually means SI magazines. But my roomates and I are moving out soon, so we had no SI articles in the washroom since everything is being packed. Well I ended up reading the back of the shampoo bottle and the ingredients. I saw things like ammonium lauryl sulfate and tetrasodium EDTA. Pretty scary shit, no wonder old people get bald.
never know when you're gonna have to kill some giant alien flatworms
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If anyone has a chance to go see Avenue Q i'd highly recommend it.http://www.avenueq.com/It's basically a puppet show set in a Sesame Street world, but it's raunchy and funny as hell. They also make no attempt to hide the humans controlling the puppets which I also thought was funny considering some of the shit they did with the puppets.AQ6.BWAY_Rosegg_big.jpg

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On tilt after that NO Loss, and feeling ill after afternoon patio beers and too many chips, which results in...Atlanta Hawks +4.0 (-105) vs Miami Heat Risk $20.00 to win $19.05Public overvaluing Dwayne Wade and the Heat. Underdog in the series, yet given the chalk @ home in game 3, with the series tied at 1. I think it's a very good spots for the Hawks.

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So-so night last night, went 2-2. Day 3 Balance: $150.80I feel it's time for a bold move. I think I found a real good spot, there's nothing I like more then when the public heavily backs an underdog on the road. The Bulls were given 2.5 chalk as favourites in the opening line, and the public heavily bet on the Celtics as the underdogs on the road (around 80%). The line then moved to -3.0, which was egging the public even more to bet on the Celtics. I think this is the place of the day. Let's hope, lol, or this could spell the end of the Barbershop soon. Chicago Bulls -3.0 vs Boston Celtics (-110)Risk: 100.00 Potential Winnings: 90.91Story of the Day: So yesterday night I just got back from a run and when I get into my apartment, I get a call in my cell phone. My friend Kalaigh says her, and our other friends Derek and Melissa are on the patio of this Mexican Restaurant just outside my apartment and they saw me and invite me to go on the patio to have a drink. I don't really want to to as I'm tired, and had already got a little drunk in the afternoon, but I haven't seen those dudes in a while, so I say sure, just let me shower and I'll be down in 15. Anyways, so we're on the patio drinking beers. When all of a sudden it gets dark, this cloud moves above us. Then WHABAM!!! Two loud booms, and winds start at like 100km/hr, all of the glass shatters from the tables because it gets knocked down onto the concrete. A big sign from this Italian Restaurant Fresco Cielo flies into the air and hits a power line, which equates into an explosion. Children are crying, girls are screaming, and I look over at my buddy Derek and he is holding onto his beer for dear life trying to drink it!! I can't stop laughing, people are wondering why I'm laughing. Then as we're headed inside Melissa tells the rest of us how transformers were exploding outside and going crazy. A kid was there and then starts crying to his mom because he says the Deceptecons are coming. Mom gives Melissa a dirty look. I start laughing, mom shoots me a dirty look. I don't want to look at her, so I look at Derek, and he is drinking his beer and has a big pile of dirt in it. No real point to this story, I just thought it was funny. http://www.ottawacitizen.com/Severe+storm+...4837/story.htmlThat's the article about the storm for those interested, lol.

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we had a storm like that hit Montreal last summer.Super violent, out of nowhere, it had semi trailers hanging off the Champlain bridge.I don't really remember storms like those hitting this region is the past. an effect of climate change?

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lol yeah... I went on my balcony after the Pens game, it was nice outside, so I grabbed the dog, and took the elevator down to walk him... got to the front door of my building, and the hurricane thing was outside, ripping siding off the building across the street, and just launching debris all over.

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lol yeah... I went on my balcony after the Pens game, it was nice outside, so I grabbed the dog, and took the elevator down to walk him... got to the front door of my building, and the hurricane thing was outside, ripping siding off the building across the street, and just launching debris all over.
Did anyone else notice the extension of the serge curse? After he invoked the curse on the flyers, he got angry and said he was taking his son outside. Right about then is when the storms rolled in....
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