Nikki_N, on Saturday, January 27th, 2007, 10:22 AM, said:
Also, if you decide for some reason to come on her, keep it away from her ass, thighs, and vaginal area in general. The odds are low, but sperm are highly motivated and you need to keep it far away from the entrance to the promised land.
This one time (yes, at band camp, shut up) I was tittie-fuc
king this chick and she was all, "Oh baby, I want you to come on me," and I figured why not, it's far enough away. So she was sitting up with my stuff all over her neck and chin and I'm all like, "You're such a dirty little slut, aren't you?" and she was just smiling and it started slowly dripping down between her boobs. I thought, "Look at my guys go," but they kept going lower and lower and they were headed straight for her vagina and I started freaking out a little. I jumped up to get a towel as she did the hand waving thing that indicates she was getting a little panicky. I told her to lie down on her back to try to slow it down, but they kept going. I told her to lie perfectly still thinking maybe they were like t-rexes and were blind without movement and for a long second they did stop. But then they started right back up again and I couldn't find a towel or a sock or anything. Finally, right before they reached the promised land, I grabbed the comforter and smothered her with it like she was on fire, rolling her over and over. I took the comforter off and the stuff was everywhere, but it got it off of her. I threw the blanket on the floor and we shared a good laugh about it. Then we looked down on the floor.The sperm were coming back together from all parts of the blanket, reforming like the T-1000. There was no time to lose. I grabbed the blanket and ran to the fireplace, throwing it into the fire. You could hear the little sperm and their little screams of agony. I felt kinda bad for the little guys, but at least we were safe again.Or were we?We turned our backs for a second and one last sperm leapt out of the fire and attached to her as
s. I tried to smack it, but it was too quick. It scurried between her legs and shot up inside her. I'm still paying child support.
Homer: Moe, I need your advice.
Homer: See, I got this friend named... Joey Jo Jo... Junior... Shabadoo.
Moe: That's the worst name I ever heard.