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I Called In Sick Today


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and after 3 days, he is risen!

If you are paying $20 for a haircut, I imagine people assume you did it yourself anyway.

Pocket change cost me my first and only black girlfriend.   It was in the middle of a roaring poker boom and I was flush in ways most men don't even bother dreaming of. Money, it was like dirt to me

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I wear merrell mocs for my daily shoe. super comfortable.

 

I guess I'll be getting a couple direct reports at work along with a title and pay bump. Details TBD but the CIO finally realized all the shit I've been doing as well as the results I've been getting. Ops is signing my praises and he wants me to have the authority to set standards for the rest of the team. Last title bump and pay raise about 2 years ago was toothless and they realize that now. that was basically just to keep me from taking another position in the company with compliance, which I was leaning 60-40 on turning down any way.

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Stratovarious, what happened with the lady?

Nothing. She is doing whatever she can to avoid talking about the elephant in the room. We hung out for like an hour last night. It's a complicated and boring story.

 

I guess I'll be getting a couple direct reports at work along with a title and pay bump. Details TBD but the CIO finally realized all the shit I've been doing as well as the results I've been getting. Ops is signing my praises and he wants me to have the authority to set standards for the rest of the team. Last title bump and pay raise about 2 years ago was toothless and they realize that now. that was basically just to keep me from taking another position in the company with compliance, which I was leaning 60-40 on turning down any way.

Congrats! Should lock you in for another few years?

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Nothing. She is doing whatever she can to avoid talking about the elephant in the room. We hung out for like an hour last night. It's a complicated and boring story.

 

 

Congrats! Should lock you in for another few years?

 

yeah i figure that'll get another 2-3 out of me to burnish the resume. i figure people leadership is a highly transferable skill set.

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I feel like I disappointed Uncle’s Ronnie and Hank this weekend but I hope they understand.

 

Went to a dude ranch outside of Phoenix for a bachelor party. Got in Thursday morning and we were more less the only guests on Thursday. We went for a trail ride and then spent the rest of the day drinking by/in the pool.

 

Friday more guests started showing up but there was still only like 20 guests total and we were 9 of them.

 

We did the morning ride and did more pool drinking. A friend of ours is very social and was chatting up these two 60+ yr old women. They also had a small poker tourney that night that I did not win. First place was all $$ entry and a $50 certificate for the ranch. My buddy won and we just gave the prize pool to the dealer. All $10 of it.

 

Saturday was a big cattle drive that had us riding most of the morning and finishing up around 4. They let 50 head of cattle out in one of their 1,000 acre pastures and we broke up in groups to find them and then “drive” them back to the ranch where we had a little cutting competition. My horse was a great trail horse but a terrible cow horse and we didn’t win the competition. Dinner was a steak cookout followed by a band. They also gave out a few fun awards for the day, none of which I won. One of the owners did take me off to the side and to tell me he could tell I was frustrated with my horse in the cow event but it was obvious that I knew what I was doing and was a better rider than most of his wranglers.

 

Most of these wranglers were all old dudes who had stories for days. One of them was that he was working a ranch near the Grand Canyon when his boss told him to stay away from a certain part because Pamela Anderson and Kanye West were filming a music video so of course hitched up a wagon of horses and headed over. He said Pamela loved it while Kanye was mad as hell and wanting to fight and so he called him a hard R n word and then things got awkward on the trail ride.

 

Back to the band...By this time we were all pretty gone and the 60 yr old women were starting to get handsy and seeing as how I was the only single guy there they were trying but I declined. My friends weren’t happy with me either but I just couldn’t do it. I also don’t like being told what to do. There was a pretty younger lady there that was the GM of a ranch in Idaho that one of my friends talked me up to and we had a few dances but nothing came of it.

 

My friends went on some hike this morning that I didn’t go on because I would have died. Then we packed up and my plane is now taking off.

 

All in all it was a great time. All the food was awesome and the staff loved us and the place is BYOB so we didn’t even have to spend a ton on booze. Would highly recommend a dude ranch bachelor party if I had any friends that weren’t here this weekend.

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I got no problem with that. A couple trips back I got a straight razor shave from an old russian broad. Just think babushka but with too much makeup and a bad dye job and you're probably not far off. Got my shave, tipped her ok and went about my trip. Later than night I'm walking by the long bar in MGM and there she is, I grab a drink from the bar say hi and she proceeds to try and wrap me in in some kinda bear hug telling me to stick around. I batted her hands away practically yelled NOPE and hustled my ass outta there.

 

I used to be a quantity over quality guy but that changed in my late 20s.

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It's not like she was some kind of nesting doll with a younger, hotter russian chick inside her. that was pure borscht comrade and I say nyet.

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Maybe Shooter wasn’t thrilled about you riding him, Napa. You ever think of that?

 

I have zero issues with someone not wanting to bang a 60 year old. And i’m a lot closer to 60 than you are.

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You know what I miss? Weekends. For about 10 weeks now, every weekend, we have some sort of project, whether it was moving, fixing up, cleaning, etc the old house, which is no longer ours, thankfully, or working on the new house. Landscape stuff, moving the rest of our stuff, now we are in full construction zone mode, only having a queen bed in a guest room to live in. Once the floor goes down, i’ll have to move everything from the garage to its proper place

 

Still a ton of work to be done on the house, Tons more landscape stuff, and that doesn’t even include throwing multiple pallets of sod in the backyard, I still have multiple things to chop down and pull from the ground. There is no end in sight.

 

Sigh. Some day, my weekends will be mine again. Maybe once summer is over. But the house is gonna be cool once it’s done.

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Can we get a physical description of these geriatrics?

 

They looked exactly like you would think two 60 year old ladies who lived in california and are into horses would like like.

 

Maybe Shooter wasn’t thrilled about you riding him, Napa. You ever think of that?

 

I have zero issues with someone not wanting to bang a 60 year old. And i’m a lot closer to 60 than you are.

 

Oh, Shooter was definetly not pleased to be hauling my fat ass around all weekend. He was a giant of a horse though. In awe at the size of the lad. An absolute unit.

 

And he was absolutely perfect as a trail horse. Basically the horse equivalent of an autonomous car. But he was not into trying to sort cattle. Which is fine, he doesn't need to be.

 

 

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They looked exactly like you would think two 60 year old ladies who lived in california and are into horses would like like.

 

i don't have a picture in my mind. i mean did they weigh under 140 pounds? decent fun bags? leathery skin? gimme something here. i mean i wouldn't have done it either but you can imagine what it would be like if i did.

 

myself? i have a little unspoken thing going with this girl at the grocery store. she's a bagger and i've made some eye contact with her. and the other day she was collecting the carts in the parking lot and i made sure to give her a long look and she returned my gaze. or she was mindlessly looking into the distance completely unaware i was there. hard to say. but i think she's noticed me, and she's noticed that i've noticed she's noticed me. next time she's bagging my stuff i need to hit her with a corny one liner and if she laughs i'll know what's up.

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Leathery skin. Bleach blonde hair. Raspy voice. Wholly inappropriate attire for their age. Lots of sagginess.

 

 

The actual cute girl got called up to the “stage” and she sang and played a song on the guitar. I was smitten from the get go. And now I wish I could remember her name or her ranches name so I could do some light stalking.

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I guess I'll be getting a couple direct reports at work along with a title and pay bump. Details TBD but the CIO finally realized all the shit I've been doing as well as the results I've been getting. Ops is signing my praises and he wants me to have the authority to set standards for the rest of the team. Last title bump and pay raise about 2 years ago was toothless and they realize that now. that was basically just to keep me from taking another position in the company with compliance, which I was leaning 60-40 on turning down any way.

 

Nice!

 

 

You know what I miss? Weekends. For about 10 weeks now, every weekend, we have some sort of project, whether it was moving, fixing up, cleaning, etc the old house, which is no longer ours, thankfully, or working on the new house. Landscape stuff, moving the rest of our stuff, now we are in full construction zone mode, only having a queen bed in a guest room to live in. Once the floor goes down, i'll have to move everything from the garage to its proper place

 

Still a ton of work to be done on the house, Tons more landscape stuff, and that doesn't even include throwing multiple pallets of sod in the backyard, I still have multiple things to chop down and pull from the ground. There is no end in sight.

 

Sigh. Some day, my weekends will be mine again. Maybe once summer is over. But the house is gonna be cool once it's done.

 

This is so awesome. I'm looking forward to the finished pics. I wish I lived closer so I could help.

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