Jump to content

I Called In Sick Today


Recommended Posts

  • Replies 268k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

  • Ron_Mexico

    19414

  • speedz99

    16304

  • Napa Lite

    7767

  • ShakeZuma

    7517

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Posts

and after 3 days, he is risen!

If you are paying $20 for a haircut, I imagine people assume you did it yourself anyway.

Pocket change cost me my first and only black girlfriend.   It was in the middle of a roaring poker boom and I was flush in ways most men don't even bother dreaming of. Money, it was like dirt to me

Posted Images

Listening to this guy at the teller line ramble on about all the people that played at his alma mater East Carolina who made it to the NFL.

 

He'sl older, so he mentioned that all the players were mixed up in drugs in the 80's, and followed it with "now they just shoot people". Oh, Mr Topical.

 

God I hate blow hards. This guy is still rambling on, now about water skiers. Holy crap, I want to strangle this guy into silence. Just dropping names, talking about rich dads building the water skier daughter a lake in the backyard. In this poorer branch I work, I notice the poor people are always telling us how rich their employers, or whomever gave them the check, are. So worried about everyone else's busines. That being said....

 

Anywho, the Trayvon Martin/George Zimmerman triial is happening a couple two miles away from this branch I'm at. Apparently, some fat, black girl that wiill be a 20 year old senior this year is setting black people back 100 years with her testimony

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

 

 

Although really I was just assuming that the escorts looked good.

 

You were just assuming he could only pay for vag. And assumed he paid top dollar.

We got your number Whiskers. Now apologize. Poor, sweet, innocent Hank

Link to post
Share on other sites

Well I'm gonna go then! And I'm not going to apologize to any of you. I don't need this stuff, and I don't need you. I don't need to apologize to anyone. Except Run.

 

And that's the only one I'll apologize to. Just Run... And Ocho. - Run and Ocho and that's all... And Essay. - Run, Ocho, and Essay, and that's all I'll apologize to... And Jubi. - Run, and Ocho, and Essay, and Jubi... And vb. - Run, Ocho, and Essay, and Jubi, and that's all I will apologize to. And that's all I need too. I don't need one other thing, not one... I need this thread. - Run and Ocho, and Essay, and Jubi for sure. Well what are you looking at? What do you think I'm some kind of a jerk or something!

  • Like 4
Link to post
Share on other sites

A while back, she was out and about, drunk tweeting, partying, etc. ran across a McDonalds. Went in, crushed a bunch of McNuggets. She then tweeted that her rap name would be 40Nugs

 

She's getting married to John Legend soon, so I made bbq sauce fountain and McNuggets for hors d'uevres joke. She lol'd, we're having cosmos later.

 

How do you not know this?

Link to post
Share on other sites

A while back, she was out and about, drunk tweeting, partying, etc. ran across a McDonalds. Went in, crushed a bunch of McNuggets. She then tweeted that her rap name would be 40Nugs

 

She's getting married to John Legend soon, so I made bbq sauce fountain and McNuggets for hors d'uevres joke. She lol'd, we're having cosmos later.

 

How do you not know this?

 

I didn't know any of this either.

 

I just saw that she said "lol" and that was enough for me.

Link to post
Share on other sites

A hundred years my ass...

 

 

 

I flipped it over to CNN during a gunsmoke commercial.... They're trying to kill ole Matt again... To see what you were talking about

 

 

 

Within thirty seconds I lost several IQ points.... Some superhero power she has there. If she somehow finds her way out of the courtroom and waddles into your bank today, call the cops immediately

 

She'll have the teller so dumbfounded they will hand over four or five bands of Bens and a free toaster for cashing in three rolls of pennies with broom handle sticks inside. Better call them quick though... If she speaks in your direction you won't remember how to push the alarm

 

 

In other news....

 

 

 

It's damn hot today. Pushin a hundred with high humidity. I need to mow but its too miserable out there. Last summer I donned swim trunks and turned on the sprinklers to keep cool. Got a sunburn from hell

 

 

Screw it.... I'm hunting down the waterproof sunscreen....

 

 

 

Hope I have some extra sprinkler heads this time

 

 

 

 

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

I never tried mowing wet grass. I assumed it was a no no

 

And tractor mowing doesnt seem that taxing. Throw on some tunes, a mini cooler, bingo. Nobody is edging or anything, right?

 

Still probably tiring, getting on and off, clearing paths

 

At this new branch, that girl and her ilk are the majority of the clients. Not good

Link to post
Share on other sites

Okay, my browser keeps updating to IE10 every day and for some reason my "enter" button that moves the thingy down to the next line doesn't work. Any idea how to fix this damn thing? Weird. Everything else seems to work. @#$%$%$#@

Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

Announcements


×
×
  • Create New...