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#1841 NickCave

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Posted 21 November 2013 - 08:13 PM

Also, who registers a Johannes Kepler account? What the hell is going on?

#1842 BigDMcGee

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Posted 21 November 2013 - 08:34 PM

View PostNickCave, on 21 November 2013 - 08:13 PM, said:

Also, who registers a Johannes Kepler account? What the hell is going on?


Don't you remember Copernicus, wang?


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#1843 InternetExplorer

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Posted 21 November 2013 - 08:41 PM

I can't believe how happy the lice accounts make me
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#1844 BigDMcGee

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Posted 21 November 2013 - 08:47 PM

Don't be afraid to vote with team lice, fellers.
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#1845 NickCave

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Posted 21 November 2013 - 09:48 PM

View PostInternetExplorer, on 21 November 2013 - 08:41 PM, said:

I can't believe how happy the lice accounts make me

Yeah it is so stupid, but even though it's going to be Operation: Dry Dick tonight as a direct result, I can't stop laughing.

#1846 SuitedAces21

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Posted 21 November 2013 - 09:58 PM

you're a dry guy? that explains so much.
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#1847 NickCave

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Posted 21 November 2013 - 10:22 PM

View PostSuitedAces21, on 21 November 2013 - 09:58 PM, said:

you're a dry guy? that explains so much.

Nah, I usually either Jergens or KY Warming.

#1848 David_Sklansky

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Posted 21 November 2013 - 10:25 PM

To this day, even with all the weird stuff I've done, the best orgasm I've ever had was me alone, ****ing a rolled up towel with a rubber glove in the center, lubed up with store brand lotion from Kroger.
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#1849 David_Sklansky

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Posted 21 November 2013 - 10:27 PM

I'm sure I was watching a weird scene I stole from Cheggit, but no clue what it was.
12. When menstruating, use a product that right for your menstrual flow. A tampon too big can irritate and develop fungus. A product left in too long can cause bacteria or fungus build up. Products can be changed at least every 4 hours. Except when sleeping, they can be left in for the night

#1850 NickCave

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Posted 21 November 2013 - 10:39 PM

View PostDavid_Sklansky, on 21 November 2013 - 10:25 PM, said:

To this day, even with all the weird stuff I've done, the best orgasm I've ever had was me alone, ****ing a rolled up towel with a rubber glove in the center, lubed up with store brand lotion from Kroger.

You feed your cats food that costs $25/day, but you beat it with off brand hand lotion?


#1851 David_Sklansky

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Posted 21 November 2013 - 10:47 PM

View PostNickCave, on 21 November 2013 - 10:39 PM, said:

You feed your cats food that costs $25/day, but you beat it with off brand hand lotion?

This orgasm was had in 2009 or 2010, back when I was a cheap, horrible ****. The Lord only knows how good the orgasm would have been with the high-end, boutique lotion I would use today.
12. When menstruating, use a product that right for your menstrual flow. A tampon too big can irritate and develop fungus. A product left in too long can cause bacteria or fungus build up. Products can be changed at least every 4 hours. Except when sleeping, they can be left in for the night

#1852 NickCave

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Posted 21 November 2013 - 11:22 PM

View PostDavid_Sklansky, on 21 November 2013 - 10:47 PM, said:



This orgasm was had in 2009 or 2010, back when I was a cheap, horrible ****. The Lord only knows how good the orgasm would have been with the high-end, boutique lotion I would use today.

Here's to sweet ass jack lotions. And being so straight and manly, you guys, you seriously have no idea how manly and straight we are.

#1853 NickCave

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Posted 22 November 2013 - 01:31 AM

Speaking of beating it and being 100% not gay, I was watching Bravo, and then I fell asleep for a few minutes, and when I woke up Mario Lopez was hosting an infomercial. He looks really good, you guys. Pretty sure he's shifted the weights/cardio balance to like 25/75. Always thought he was Mexican, but for some reason I'm pretty sure he's secret Asian. Maybe he's from the Philippines? That's like the Mexico of Asia.

#1854 David_Sklansky

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Posted 22 November 2013 - 08:40 AM

View PostNickCave, on 21 November 2013 - 08:11 PM, said:

I read "I have too much lice" and "what is the right amount of lice" in front of a girl I'm trying to stick it to at a bar and burst out laughing. She asked what was so funny. Pretty sure I shouldn't tell her?

Edit: told her I got a funny text from a friend. Then I read "homeostatic lice." Back top square one. No way this broad is coming home with me. Thanks, Obama

I used to always be on a desktop in another room while I was on here, but now I'm usually on a laptop in the livingroom or in bed with my partner. It creates such a weird problem, because there is literally no way to accurately explain why I'm laughing about some obscure troll/level/flame that's based on a combination of several decade-long relationships built entirely on an anonymous internet forum without it sounding at least as crazy as it is.

I was rereading that thread about the drift race the other day and responded to "what's so funny?" with "math puns on Reddit. Go back to sleep, kitten." No girl/twink is ever going to probe deeper about a math pun. Unless you're banging the chick from Wonder Years, in which case she's a loser geek anyway so who cares what she thinks.
12. When menstruating, use a product that right for your menstrual flow. A tampon too big can irritate and develop fungus. A product left in too long can cause bacteria or fungus build up. Products can be changed at least every 4 hours. Except when sleeping, they can be left in for the night

#1855 The Machine

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Posted 22 November 2013 - 08:47 AM

David Sklansky is voted off the forum by an official vote of 11-6. (Please don't leave.)

Ron Mexico is the FCP Survivor Champ.

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#1856 The Machine

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Posted 22 November 2013 - 08:48 AM

I'm going to leave the vote up there for now because that's an amazing collection of names that voted against Ron.

#1857 David_Sklansky

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Posted 22 November 2013 - 09:07 AM

**** right off. I don't accept this outcome. I clearly won. I motivated my voter and compensated for my own wild unpopularity with cunning, guile and intimidation, the same way all my heroes have taken power. But the fix was clearly in from the start. You complete losers couldn't handle the idea of someone better than you coming in here and making waves. Suck my dick you sexless, penniless, friendless drunks. Go post on Reddit about girls being bitches and teases for not being attracted to you. I certainly can't understand why they wouldn't be.
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#1858 The Machine

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Posted 22 November 2013 - 09:22 AM

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Ron Mexico - 6 (InternetExplorer, TommyGavin81, Essay21, Misti Blue, BigDMcGee, David Sklansky)

David Sklansky - 11 (Napa Don, JubilantLankyLad, Tiltinagain, ShakeZuma, Theraflu, Ron Mexico, The Ocho, iBeaver, The Machine, brvheart, NickCave)

#1859 iTommyGavin81

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Posted 22 November 2013 - 09:35 AM

I never voted in the finals. The entire poll should be invalidated
“Look Scotty, I know what you’re going through. Couple years back, a kid came to me much the same way you’re coming to me now, saying the same thing that you’re saying. He wanted to drop off the team. His mother was a widow, all crippled up. She was scrubbing floors. She had this pin in her hip. So he wanted to drop basketball and get a job. Now these were poor people with real problems. Understand what I’m saying?”
“What happened to the kid?”
“I don’t know. He quit. He was a third stringer, I didn’t need him.”

#1860 The Machine

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Posted 22 November 2013 - 09:36 AM

You voted for Ron. I wrote it down.




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