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I Called In Sick Today


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#196561 Tiltinagain

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Posted 18 July 2012 - 03:12 PM

View PostiZuma, on 18 July 2012 - 12:22 PM, said:

to be fair though, no woman has ever been attracted to me so it's not all my fault
I highly doubt this is true from a physical standpoint. Women are not, however, attracted to guys with no self confidence. Which is more likely the issue.How do you think Ron gets so much ass? From what he says he's not running around as a Brad Pitt look a like. He has confidence. Because of that he gets laid.

View PostRon_Mexico, on 18 July 2012 - 01:46 PM, said:

Jesus you fcking fcks suck.
Ron always knows just what to say.

View PostDJ Vu, on 18 July 2012 - 02:24 PM, said:

I'd be nervous in that setting.
Jesus Christ, don't encourage them.

View PostRon_Mexico, on 06 October 2012 - 09:40 AM, said:


Sheesh, tough crowd, sensitive crowd.

QUOTE (speedz99 @ Thursday, October 6th, 2011, 11:33 AM)
Fine...when god dies, I'll be ok with people being upset on facebook.

#196562 hank213

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Posted 18 July 2012 - 03:32 PM

View PostTiltinagain, on 18 July 2012 - 03:12 PM, said:

I highly doubt this is true from a physical standpoint. Women are not, however, attracted to guys with no self confidence. Which is more likely the issue.How do you think Ron gets so much ass? From what he says he's not running around as a Brad Pitt look a like. He has confidence. Because of that he gets laid.
the self perpetuating spiral: you don't get laid for a while which makes you lose confidence which means you don't get laid which makes you lose confidence....time for a slumpbuster!**or a hoooker.
Hank's tenure at Soulsuckers, INC, LLC, DBA TBD, had not been long, but it had been distinguished... By drunkenness, hair-trigger violence, and a total lack of performance. I would call it a steady decline in performance, but that would imply that he performed at one point in time. In fact he had not. He was drunk.

QUOTE (Napa_Don @ Monday, August 15th, 2011, 5:52 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Last week I drink the majority of a twelve pack of light beer out of the cutoff end of a whiffle bat, how's that for cultured, bitches"

#196563 ShakeZuma

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Posted 18 July 2012 - 03:47 PM

View PostRon_Mexico, on 18 July 2012 - 01:46 PM, said:

God I hate you. You and a buddy, I don't know, maybe the fck from high school on your team, agree to a plan for happy hour on Tuesday. You tell him he's going to have drinks after work with you on Friday to chase some ass. Pick a payday so no one can cry poor. He tells a few people in passing, you tell a few, it snowballs. People will go. You know these women so there isn't the awkward cold approach at the bar, let the booze and suit work it's magic. Jesus you fcking fcks suck. I hate you and Clint. In fact, he's gonna lose the Clint nickname soon.
well my buddy is married and won't go out anymore and I don't really know any of the girls in the new department so this is all pretty much useless so THANKS A LOT DUDE.

View Posthank213, on 18 July 2012 - 03:05 PM, said:

except Shake.
dude I make more than most of these people. ME.

View Posthank213, on 18 July 2012 - 03:32 PM, said:

the self perpetuating spiral: you don't get laid for a while which makes you lose confidence which means you don't get laid which makes you lose confidence....time for a slumpbuster!**or a hoooker.
seriously, I've thought about this. but even here, the "move to a real city you piece of shit" comes into play because we don't have any hookers anywhere near here. well, except black ones and fuck that.but yeah, I was joking with napa earlier about the whole "hey just get some confidence!" thing because that's what people always trot out in these conversations, like it's just that easy to do. confidence is built not just made. you have to actually accomplish something to be confident that you can do it, and if you're rejected by 20 girls in a row, well, it can become difficult to think number 21 is going to be anything different.

View PostAmScray, on 30 August 2010 - 12:41 PM, said:

one cannot possibly ascribe themselves to the larger (D) philosophy without first being a poon

#196564 Essay21

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Posted 18 July 2012 - 03:53 PM

Don't worry shakey, I'm afraid o talk to girls that I'm pretty sure do like me. Some guys just don't have it. I need the lady to really just tell me wjas going to happen. Cause Ill never do anything

#196565 ShakeZuma

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Posted 18 July 2012 - 03:59 PM

hey, thanks for the empathy, but um, did you just fail the practice exam and get slam drunk afterwards or something? have a stroke maybe?

View PostAmScray, on 30 August 2010 - 12:41 PM, said:

one cannot possibly ascribe themselves to the larger (D) philosophy without first being a poon

#196566 DJ Vu

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Posted 18 July 2012 - 04:00 PM

View PostShakeZuma, on 18 July 2012 - 03:47 PM, said:

seriously, I've thought about this. but even here, the "move to a real city you piece of shit" comes into play because we don't have any hookers anywhere near here.
But I'm sure your town more than makes up for it in slumpbusters.

#196567 SuitedAces21

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Posted 18 July 2012 - 04:05 PM

View Posthank213, on 18 July 2012 - 03:05 PM, said:

...you know any good books on evidence collection methods I could read?
not really. when this is over i'll never think about criminal law or evidence again. except for when i take the kansas bar in the winter (or next summer if i fail the missouri this year and have to re-take it in february). but after that never again.

View PostShakeZuma, on 18 July 2012 - 03:59 PM, said:

hey, thanks for the empathy, but um, did you just fail the practice exam and get slam drunk afterwards or something? have a stroke maybe?
no i was on my phone and i can't use that thing properly. i did above average on the practice exam. 144 out of 200. which would mean i'd need 116 out of 200 on my essays to pass. which is doable. i just need to bring that multiple choice score up to 160. i do that and its in the bag.

#196568 Tiltinagain

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Posted 18 July 2012 - 04:25 PM

View PostShakeZuma, on 18 July 2012 - 03:47 PM, said:

but yeah, I was joking with napa earlier about the whole "hey just get some confidence!" thing because that's what people always trot out in these conversations, like it's just that easy to do. confidence is built not just made. you have to actually accomplish something to be confident that you can do it, and if you're rejected by 20 girls in a row, well, it can become difficult to think number 21 is going to be anything different.
Well this is true. But it can be faked. Ron has mentioned using liquid courage. Or just fake it for a night. Go to a club/bar you've never been to so nobody knows you. Walk in like you own the place. No, you're not the hottest, richest, whateverest guy in the room but you walk in like you are. Like an actor playing a part, you play the part of a confident guy. It's not that hard. When I was in sales I was taught this and it's the only reason I made decent money, let alone didn't starve to death, because I'm not a natural salesman.Sitting around your cabin looking at the stars through the roof isn't going to get you laid, what have you got to lose?

View PostRon_Mexico, on 06 October 2012 - 09:40 AM, said:


Sheesh, tough crowd, sensitive crowd.

QUOTE (speedz99 @ Thursday, October 6th, 2011, 11:33 AM)
Fine...when god dies, I'll be ok with people being upset on facebook.

#196569 SuitedAces21

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Posted 18 July 2012 - 04:35 PM

shake you need to change everything about yourself and become a different person for the night. it shouldn't be that hard.

#196570 ShakeZuma

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Posted 18 July 2012 - 04:55 PM

why did I never think of that before?!

View PostAmScray, on 30 August 2010 - 12:41 PM, said:

one cannot possibly ascribe themselves to the larger (D) philosophy without first being a poon

#196571 JubilantLankyLad

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Posted 18 July 2012 - 05:26 PM

View PostShakeZuma, on 18 July 2012 - 01:07 AM, said:

what other planet I'd like to live on?
Venus, obv. Because of all the raping. Not Mars, though. Same reason.
there were no special effects, no special effects.

#196572 ShakeZuma

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Posted 18 July 2012 - 05:28 PM

that guy's a closer

View PostAmScray, on 30 August 2010 - 12:41 PM, said:

one cannot possibly ascribe themselves to the larger (D) philosophy without first being a poon

#196573 JubilantLankyLad

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Posted 18 July 2012 - 05:30 PM

View PostDJ Vu, on 18 July 2012 - 10:01 AM, said:

No, those are the girls at Shake's company.
I'm just disappointed it took shake this long to explain the benefits package at his work. It certainly explains why he's stayed there. Benefits PACKAGE. heh heh heh.
there were no special effects, no special effects.

#196574 JubilantLankyLad

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Posted 18 July 2012 - 05:32 PM

View PostNapa Lite, on 18 July 2012 - 10:40 AM, said:

She's got a boyfriend of 2ish years who is, by all accounts, a pretty cool dude. And I agree, Shake. Even though my friend denies it. I can't rememeber the specifics but she told me "oh, I saw my cousin/her bf last weekend and we talked about you" and that coincided with about the time she stopped coming over to talk to me.
Was this six months ago, by any chance?
there were no special effects, no special effects.

#196575 brvheart

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Posted 18 July 2012 - 05:56 PM

View PostDJ Vu, on 18 July 2012 - 10:33 AM, said:

And she told you she wants to celebrate and yet you did nothing.Man, Ron Mexico is going to have a heart attack when he reads these last couple of pages.
Haha. Seriously. I'm sad that I don't work with Napa and Sal. I would definitely force them into hanging out with people. I mean, what the hell?! Even I go out for drinks with co-workers on a regular basis, and I'm a Jesus-loving, never been drunk-in-my-life, boring sonofabitch. COME ON, GUYS!
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View PostSuitedAces21, on 20 August 2012 - 11:14 AM, said:

tilt you suck.

View PostEssay21, on 25 February 2013 - 08:32 PM, said:

titly suck a dick bitch

#196576 InternetExplorer

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Posted 18 July 2012 - 06:10 PM

View PostJubilantLankyLad, on 18 July 2012 - 05:32 PM, said:

Was this six months ago, by any chance?
yeah I was thinking the same thingtwo people in my department had grandmothers die today. I went up and was like, "wow, two on the same day, that's pretty unlikely, huh" to my coworker and the early 30s woman (one of the grieving). she cracks a little smile. it comes up that the other griever's grandma was in nebraska or something, and I'm like, "wait, so it wasn't just some assisted living bus accident or something? these odds are astronomical" I mean, it got a laugh, but later on, the woman was like sobbing randomly and had to leave early. so I feel maybe a little bad, I don't know. she's using it to take 3 half days and another full day, and she's not even planning the funeral. totally ****ing us over.but she's a temp, why in god's name is a temp able to **** the department so hard? boggles the mind, we're supposed to be replaceable immediately without huge adverse impact.
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#196577 Tiltinagain

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Posted 18 July 2012 - 06:36 PM

View PostSuitedAces21, on 18 July 2012 - 04:35 PM, said:

shake you need to change everything about yourself and become a different person for the night. it shouldn't be that hard.
See shake, I told you so!!

View PostRon_Mexico, on 06 October 2012 - 09:40 AM, said:


Sheesh, tough crowd, sensitive crowd.

QUOTE (speedz99 @ Thursday, October 6th, 2011, 11:33 AM)
Fine...when god dies, I'll be ok with people being upset on facebook.

#196578 The Ocho

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Posted 18 July 2012 - 10:02 PM

I'm past the getting drinks with coworkers stage of my life. I would rather go home a drink by msyelf, like I am doing tonight. When I am done with work I just want to get home or wherever I am going, I don't want to hang out with people I just spent multiple hours with.

#196579 brvheart

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Posted 18 July 2012 - 10:37 PM

View PostThe Ocho, on 18 July 2012 - 10:02 PM, said:

I'm past the getting drinks with coworkers stage of my life. I would rather go home a drink by msyelf, like I am doing tonight. When I am done with work I just want to get home or wherever I am going, I don't want to hang out with people I just spent multiple hours with.
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CAPITALISM: God's way of determining who is smart and who is poor. - Ron Swanson ---> Video:Ron's Pyramid of Greatness Picture: Poster Size


View PostSuitedAces21, on 20 August 2012 - 11:14 AM, said:

tilt you suck.

View PostEssay21, on 25 February 2013 - 08:32 PM, said:

titly suck a dick bitch

#196580 The Ocho

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Posted 18 July 2012 - 11:08 PM

View Postbrvheart, on 18 July 2012 - 10:37 PM, said:

It's OK, you just keep finding ways to ignore your kids, we'll be fine.




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