I Called In Sick Today

[iQuack 128]

At least you'll always have the boob pic.

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

Going on vacation. Probably not going to die.

 

Where does one that works in a vacation spot, vacation? (Says the lifelong Floridian that lives in near Disneyworld, "the happiest place on earth"

 

Got way to drunk. Threw up a few times this morning. I can't drink like I used to. I made breakfast but I can't eat it. I feel like such shit right now. This sucks.

 

You're too young for "can't drink like I used to"

 

No more mixing. Either beer all night or one liquor all night.

 

I remember I used to drink vodka sprites with a lime all night then at the last stop at 4am, I'd order Miller Lights to "sober up". What a moron

[iClint 61]

I did do liquor all night. Except it was rum and then vodka and then whiskey. And a shot or two in there. So, whoops.

 

And I absolutely can say I can't drink like I used to. I only vomited a handful of times in college. I've killed that in the past 6 months.

[ShakeZuma 585]

I'd be ashamed to state that fact....

 

well it was more because I didn't bring enough since my girlfriend's friend came down and borrowed a couple. cooler was too small. but yeah, regardless I did end up getting buzzed super quick off those three somehow and wasn't all that disappointed that I had to stop. must have been the heat.

 

 

and also, I have now met the parents. they're both cool, but I bullshitted with her dad for like 2 hours last night. dude's really cool. so that's a good thing.

[ShakeZuma 585]

oh and beans, now that you've got me thinking I need to buy me a case backhoe, I'm seeing heavy machinery that I want freaking EVERYWHERE. during the trip down to the beach I swear I saw at least 10 case 580somethings not to mention bulldozers and excavators galore. damn I want one of each. and SWEET JESUS, they were building something up the beach from us and apparently there wasn't road access so they had to drive their equipment to it on the beach, and an absolutely giant caterpillar dozer came by like twice. the entire beach shook when it went buy. crazy. want one of those too.

 

 

anyway, the girlfriend was making fun of me all weekend for saying I wanted a backhoe so she brought it up in front of her dad. his immediate response: "hey that's a great idea!" we then explained to her, together, how many uses you could have for it.

 

it seems I'll be digging his basement for their next house now.

[Essay21 2,385]

I miss the old shake.

 

 

[ShakeZuma 585]

your mom doesn't.

 

 

 

oh and I wanted to mention this: napa, all of the girls you hang out with are officially the worst people on the earth. I hate them.

[Essay21 2,385]

Yeah napa has bad luck with ladies. I know and understand that completely.

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

Shake, I thought for sure that backhoe comment was going elsewhere. She's your backhoe.

 

 

Napa, that mixture of booze is death on a stick. Another thing that comes with experience. Streamlining the drinking agenda. Screw it. Drink, puke, feel crappy, say you aren't doing that again, then do it again. Rinse, repeat

[Sickinfo2 291]

Its a good feeling to hit it off with the future daddy-n-law, someone who you will grow to hate more and more with each passing year until his insane jealousy for what youve accomplished gnaws his soul so much he spills it over to your kid, you have your fill of that, and visit one night to play out a scene from a gangster movie that makes women and children lower their heads and look in the popcorn tub. Then he wont bother you or the family anymore

 

 

 

 

Thats all just a wild shot in the dark, though... wont happen to you of course. Dunno where that terrible thought came from anyway

 

 

 

 

Anyway, dozers. Nowhere as useful as a hoe. Good for cutting ground and pushing it into a pile. About it. Rolling out trees. They do spread gravel and dirt faster in large areas....

 

 

 

The maintenance required is tremendous. The tracks, called the undercarriage, are super-duper expensive to replace. The rear sprocket, looks just like a bicycle one, turns the chain around the front idler wheel. Bolted to it are the treads that touch the ground. Between the idler and sprocket are rollers which support the chain across the bottom. Every part is made from hardened steel and weight a shit-ton. They take a constant beating and not only cost a small fortune but also take days of hundred dollar an hour labor to replace. I pilfered around and found some good used parts for most of my six fifty and paid a mechanic cash on the weekends to do mine and it still cost ten grand. Case place was near twice that

 

 

 

Not only do you have to haul them everywhere, but a simple task such as crossing a highway takes a truck load of used tires or plywood to prevent tearing up the asphalt. Noisy as hell from the constant rattling. Rides like a jackhammer. Going over small hills is like riding a teeter-totter.... all the sudden it "breaks over" the peak and slams down so hard you have to place your feet on the oh shit bar across the dash to keep your face from contacting the hot exhaust pipe. I hate running the things these days...

 

 

 

But thats not the worst part.... get this.... since your left hand is constantly controlling left/right and forward/reverse and your right is ordering the six way blade around, you cant hold a beer while controlling the beast. Dont even consider mounting a beer holder anywhere on it. Bastard bangs and jumps so much it will foam right out in seconds. Mine lasted all of five minutes screwed to the side before being abandoned. Even if a guy constructed a steady mount system that absorbed the shock transmitted to the can.... first thing I thought about developing... the constant dust blown around by the engine fan being directly in front of the already stirred up dust will contaminate the suds immediately

 

 

 

As you might have guessed, Ive spent considerable time on one over the years. It was fun when I was a kid. And they are necessary for certain tasks a hoe cant do, like pushing down houses and burning brush piles that would have the tires on a hoe nail filled or melted. Roughing out roads, cutting the ditches on the sides, making a perfectly flat pad for a building, stuff like that...

 

 

 

 

I can tell you this, too.... they are absolutely worthless on ice. A few years ago we got about three inches of the stuff overnight. The next evening I got bored and decided to fire it up and cut the ice off the gravel drive going to the rear of the property. Within two minutes I was sliding sideways down a hill at high speed. It stayed against a big oak until spring broke

 

 

 

Stick with buying a backhoe and if needed hire someone for dozing... notice when you offer the guy a beer he kills the engine and drinks it right then...

[Sickinfo2 291]

Didnt take long to find an example...

 

 

 

 

 

 

Even has my theme music!

[ShakeZuma 585]

wow yeah, that looks incredibly not fun. and nah, I have no intention on getting a dozer. backhoe would be all I'd ever need and then some. just like looking at those ridiculously huge things.

 

 

 

also: I apparently just ate some moldy bread. didn't notice it until I reached in for a second slice. this might get interesting. beans, any advice? I'm sure this happens to you almost daily...

[Essay21 2,385]

It's too late. You're probably already dead. RIP.

[Sickinfo2 291]

I apparently just ate some moldy bread. didn't notice it until I reached in for a second slice. this might get interesting. beans, any advice? I'm sure this happens to you almost daily...

 

 

 

 

Wont hurt ya... around the house we call it getting the daily dose of penicillin. The wifes cooking not only builds up the immune system but fights infection as well...

 

 

 

Abscessed tooth or sinus infection?

 

 

 

Take one slice of cheese or piece of bread twice a day until symptoms disappear. More serious cases require reaching way back in the fridge where leftovers have mutated and distilled themselves into hybrid strains...

 

 

 

Seriously, the other day I had to make a sandwich out of hotdog buns since every loaf of bread had psychedelic patterns of green growing on them

 

 

 

Of course the roast beef placed inside it had turned into jerky and the label on the mustard had faded away over the years....

 

 

 

I wonder whats she burning tonight

[ShakeZuma 585]

ok good. it's been about an hour and I feel fine. gonna start drinking. figure that'll kill any lingering effects.

[ShakeZuma 585]

opps, nevermind, I'm dead

[Essay21 2,385]

opps, nevermind, I'm dead

 

[Sickinfo2 291]

Since Ive been working on the cjfive project nonstop since the last time I posted.... around a box and a half of beer give or take... I decided to take a break and ponder the actual use of the vehicle

 

 

 

After the newness wears off and the kid returns it from hauling his delinquent pals around, it will hopefully be attached behind the motorhome and used as a runaround. Little to no storage in the thing...the glove box will hold a proof of insurance card or a pair of gloves. Both would be pushing it. If I choose to install a radio hi-fi unit it will be mounted in a waterproof area either under the hood or tucked under the dash, controlled by bluetooth and a handy-dandy iphone app. Technology is wonderful, huh

 

 

 

Anyhoo, the lack of storage concerns me for one reason. No place to hide a pistol. In a normal vehicle you can tuck one away in the center console or someplace, lock it up, and not worry about it being took too much. Key word is locked up. An open cockpit pretty well nixes that safety feature. I know they make locking storage between the seats and stuff but thats the first place the law would wanna look should they stop a fellow. Plus thats where Im storing the beer. Already ordered one and plan on lining the inside with insulation and running a hose from the bottom through the floorboard to drain it.

 

 

 

So, since the glovebox is out and even a stainless firearm will rust eventually in ice water, I came up with an idea to covertly keep a pistol within reach at all times while safely hidden from everyone but maybe the CSI team. And now you guys...everyone but suited that is

 

 

 

I had planned on filling the cut out in the metal dash that someone poorly hacked out before I bought it with a piece of eighteen gauge sheetmetal. Weld it up, grind down smooth, a little body filler, and primer and paint the whole thing to make it disappear. Now its staying. Ill take the same metal, fabricate an enclosure, and weld it to the dash behind the opening. Then a metal drawer to fit inside of that. Some small slides stolen from an old toolbox will be tacked on its side and then inside the enclosure. A fake stereo face will then be screwed/epoxied on the end with the knobs releasing the locking mechanism. A little carpet on the inside and presto... a fully loaded peacekeeper at my fingertips. I may even make it spring loaded. Really impress the dames I pick up hitchhiking right before I order them to....uh... take them home

 

 

 

 

As always the password is fcpfcp stick close to twit for the blow by blows of the project. Should be completed by June twenty sixty if I keep getting ideas...

[iQuack 128]

What if someone tries to steal the "stereo"?

[hank213 1,823]

On these lazy sunday mornings when I pretty much do nothing but sit around surfing the interwebs I sure do miss the smokes.

[Sickinfo2 291]

Gonna use a "vintage" one from the seventies with features such as AM, mono, and push button presets. If anyone steals that they need the gun to shoot themselves with....

[ShakeZuma 585]

welp, guess everybody else is dead too

[JubilantLankyLad 1,957]

Last summer vacation I convinced my mother to buy an iPad despite her fear of technology. This summer I arrive at the cottage - proudly TV-free, where the install of a stereo was hotly debated when I was a child and narrowly permitted - to find that she's installed wifi.

 

It's like I hardly know her anymore...

[InternetExplorer 2,609]

teach a man to fish...

 

I never did the song thing. I meant to. I may do it tonight. perhaps it's too late.

 

I've been mildly sick these last few days. tried to swim yesterday. had some regrets. deep ones.

[InternetExplorer 2,609]

staffing agency is kind of a joke. probably wasted my time this morning. just that sense you get when everyone you encounter, employee or applicant, is obviously a complete retard.