So, someone made a claim about a photograph in another thread.There was some
debate as to a claim made about a "face" being identifiable in the snapshot.I have gone back to that thread a few times with a sense of unease. I could not put it out of my mind that someone claimed there was a face on one of the particular pictures. I didn’t see it. Finally, being of scientific persuasion or a “sciencer” as some people call us, I decided to put the image through critical scientific scrutiny and scientifically discover the truth using empirical science.So it goes.Let us scientifically break it down using science shall we?First:
Here we can clearly see what seems to be a loose connection of attributes that, taken as a whole, often constitute a “face”. We can glimpse wet orbs of seeing (Fig 1), breathing apparatus holes (Fig 2), and a food masher (Fig-Newton 3)* all co-located.I s
hit my pants just now.Let us scientifically enhance the photograph for science purposes:
It seems obvious, now that we have used hard science to investigate: this organism indeed does have a face. How could we have missed this? Could we suffer some sort of global functional retardation? I have a few theories. It is my contention that other portions of the image took us so far down the path of interest that we completely neglected the signs and indicators present in the photographic evidence. For example:
We see here that these two protrusions are screaming for attention. From past anatomical experience with Homo sapiens sapiens we know that these flesh bumps secrete a strange nutrient rich liquid that makes bones strong. Certainly our attention was drawn to the promise inherent in their existence.Also:
Through study and research** we have found that this moist crevasse of wonders somehow sprouts little human beings through a spontaneous process we do not yet understand. Possibly teleportation. Aside from it tasting good and my unreasonable urge to stab it repeatedly with my large, protruding pelvic tumor -- the fact it can create tiny and motor-skill impaired human beings from thin air makes for an incredible distraction. It smells really really bad in here because of the s
hit in my pants.In conclusion, I think we have seen substantial evidence that this creature does in fact have a face and it is my scientific opinion that we overlooked this possibility through a mysterious cognitive process that God hath burdened upon the human race. Hopefully the scientific science we have done here will shed some scientifically ambient light on this phenomenon and help future sciencer type observers of such images avoid our unscientificy mistakes. Science. Author’s note: It is possibly certain that many females reading this study will find themselves moist with attraction. Any man who so intimately and accurately understands and examines the female anatomy usually draws such attention. To avoid any awkward correspondence via mail or stalking, let us put this to rest now: the chances of you being as beautiful, intelligent, funny, compassionate, loyal and sexually voracious as would be required by one such as myself are so pathetically minuscule as to be non-existent. In other words – B
itch, please***.Footnotes:*I have avoided technical science terms as much as possible to make this work accessible to the masses. Occasionally strict scientific classifications such as breathing apparatus holes (BTH) and food masher (FM) had to be used for critical purposes. ** Vivid Video productions*** Female dog in heat
I will kill you in your sleep.
'"Luck" is people taking the laws of probability personally, it is the excitement of bad math.'
1
