Jump to content


I Called In Sick Today


  • Please log in to reply
214723 replies to this topic

#196581 ShakeZuma

ShakeZuma

    A hot and bothered astronaut

  • Members
  • 14,110 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:crashing while I'm jacking off
  • Interests:Basket weaving, gardening, BDSM

Posted 19 July 2012 - 01:42 AM

see, ocho doesn't go out for drinks anymore because he's married. and he's EXACTLY like the kind of chicks I'd want to bang from work. so all of you guys' advice has just been proven wrong.and since you're all so bad at giving advice, I figure I should turn things around and give some actually good advice: when cutting up multiple hot peppers, use some god damned latex gloves. jesus christ. started some salsa last night and only cut like 4 jalapenos and my damn hand is still on fire. must have been some good jalos.and I guess I should mention that I'm making the salsa for that group activity thing on friday (I already mentioned that right?). no better way to get to a woman's heart than by searing off her tongue with unbearably hot salsa, right?and strat: I completely agree. temporary employees have no souls and should not be allowed to grieve in the same manner as full time employees. they should have fired her as soon as they heard about the death. can't take the chance on the distraction.

View PostAmScray, on 30 August 2010 - 12:41 PM, said:

one cannot possibly ascribe themselves to the larger (D) philosophy without first being a poon

#196582 Ron_Mexico

Ron_Mexico

    You mess with the bull, you'll get the horns

  • Members
  • 24,444 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Barry Manilow's closet

Posted 19 July 2012 - 03:30 AM

View PostTiltinagain, on 18 July 2012 - 03:12 PM, said:

I highly doubt this is true from a physical standpoint. Women are not, however, attracted to guys with no self confidence. Which is more likely the issue.How do you think Ron gets so much ass?.
I don't get THAT much. But yes, alcohol, that's all I'm saying. And lower standards. But hey, I support their loneliness and drinking alone. I'm not one to push.
I make $31,000 dollars a year and I have a home.

#196583 iZuma

iZuma

    Poker Forum Veteran

  • Members
  • 1,784 posts

Posted 19 July 2012 - 04:36 AM

my avatar for my work IM is currently thishttp://home.comcast.net/~maureen.muncy/pictures/Meatwad_Manly.jpgand my status message is "you come at the king, you best not miss."no clue why women don't like me.

#196584 bz404

bz404

    Poker Forum Newbie

  • Members
  • 2 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:spread falls, mt
  • Interests:spaghetti works, scientists, 2,000$ dresses, vera wang, rev. calvin butt, there are no parameters here.
  • Favorite Poker Game:21 steal hawk

Posted 19 July 2012 - 07:16 AM

so i have a garden, very nice. tons of food. however, i believe the light from the nearby car dealership is affecting the growth of my light sensitive plants. can i sue their fat cat asses and have any chance of winning?

#196585 Tiltinagain

Tiltinagain

    Every village has it's idiot. Welcome to our village.

  • Members
  • 2,856 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Spokane, WA
  • Interests:Poker, gun dog training, upland hunting
  • Favorite Poker Game:Liquor in the front. Poker in the rear

Posted 19 July 2012 - 07:20 AM

View PostThe Ocho, on 18 July 2012 - 11:08 PM, said:

It's OK, you just keep finding ways to ignore your kids, we'll be fine.
Heh

View PostShakeZuma, on 19 July 2012 - 01:42 AM, said:

see, ocho doesn't go out for drinks anymore because he's married. and he's EXACTLY like the kind of chicks I'd want to bang from work. so all of you guys' advice has just been proven wrong.and since you're all so bad at giving advice, I figure I should turn things around and give some actually good advice: when cutting up multiple hot peppers, use some god damned latex gloves. jesus christ. started some salsa last night and only cut like 4 jalapenos and my damn hand is still on fire. must have been some good jalos.and I guess I should mention that I'm making the salsa for that group activity thing on friday (I already mentioned that right?). no better way to get to a woman's heart than by searing off her tongue with unbearably hot salsa, right?and strat: I completely agree. temporary employees have no souls and should not be allowed to grieve in the same manner as full time employees. they should have fired her as soon as they heard about the death. can't take the chance on the distraction.
Never had that problem with Jalapeno's, they must be especially hot ones. Habanero's on the other hand will light your ass up. Especially if you make the mistake of rubbing your eyes before washing your hands after cutting them up.

View PostRon_Mexico, on 19 July 2012 - 03:30 AM, said:

I don't get THAT much. But yes, alcohol, that's all I'm saying. And lower standards. But hey, I support their loneliness and drinking alone. I'm not one to push.
I meant relatively speaking.

View PostRon_Mexico, on 06 October 2012 - 09:40 AM, said:


Sheesh, tough crowd, sensitive crowd.

QUOTE (speedz99 @ Thursday, October 6th, 2011, 11:33 AM)
Fine...when god dies, I'll be ok with people being upset on facebook.

#196586 DJ Vu

DJ Vu

    DJ Vu

  • Members
  • 2,862 posts
  • Gender:Male

Posted 19 July 2012 - 07:27 AM

View PostJubilantLankyLad, on 18 July 2012 - 05:26 PM, said:

Venus, obv. Because of all the raping. Not Mars, though. Same reason.

View PostJubilantLankyLad, on 18 July 2012 - 05:32 PM, said:

Was this six months ago, by any chance?
I wish Jubi posted more.

View PostThe Ocho, on 18 July 2012 - 10:02 PM, said:

I'm past the getting drinks with coworkers stage of my life. I would rather go home a drink by msyelf, like I am doing tonight.
I just do both. Same night. I'm an alcoholic.But seriously folks, I like the drinks with coworkers aspect of work. I guess it depends on how much you like them though.

View PostShakeZuma, on 19 July 2012 - 01:42 AM, said:

see, ocho doesn't go out for drinks anymore because he's married. and he's EXACTLY like the kind of chicks I'd want to bang from work.
Not sure what to do with this information.

View Postbz404, on 19 July 2012 - 07:16 AM, said:

so i have a garden, very nice. tons of food. however, i believe the light from the nearby car dealership is affecting the growth of my light sensitive plants. can i sue their fat cat asses and have any chance of winning?
This was an excellent first post.

#196587 Napa Lite

Napa Lite

    Poker Forum Veteran

  • Members
  • 1,927 posts
  • Gender:Male

Posted 19 July 2012 - 07:37 AM

If I was a chick, I'd touch it, Shake. Well, I mean, if you weren't such a fatass. And it's not like I turn down invitations to drink with coworkers. I'd say the median age of my dept is 56. A bunch of middle aged to old dudes/chicks with kids. There's only like 3-4 people who I'd even want to spend time with outside of work and one of those being the dude I'm afraid to ask to golf with. One is a chick who literally just had a kid. Another is my "boss" who is a cool guy but he has 2 young kids (and another on the way) whom he is responsible to pick up from day care everyday. One is the chick whom I made out with last fall a few times, but she's got a bf and a kid. My bro in audit is on the road 90% of the time. Just slim pickings for me, man.

#196588 Napa Lite

Napa Lite

    Poker Forum Veteran

  • Members
  • 1,927 posts
  • Gender:Male

Posted 19 July 2012 - 07:39 AM

Yeah, that guy is already above tilt in my power rankings. And it actually was like 6 months ago. Heh.

#196589 DJ Vu

DJ Vu

    DJ Vu

  • Members
  • 2,862 posts
  • Gender:Male

Posted 19 July 2012 - 07:58 AM

View PostNapa Lite, on 19 July 2012 - 07:39 AM, said:

Yeah, that guy is already above tilt in my power rankings.
Full power rankings, right now, go.

#196590 Napa Lite

Napa Lite

    Poker Forum Veteran

  • Members
  • 1,927 posts
  • Gender:Male

Posted 19 July 2012 - 08:35 AM

1) Joey2) Shake3) SA4) Beans5) Strategy6) RM7) Brv8) Guap9) Jubi10) Hank11) Me12) That Guy13) Tilt 7-10 are really close though and it comes down to post frequency. Speedz and Wang would both be top 5 if they weren't dead and incarcerated, respectively. Feel bad about putting Beans at 4 but it's quality vs recent quantity thing. I wish I knew baseball better but he's like a solid DH or something. I don't know.Edit: Theraflu can take over the 11 spot. He should probably be higher but I'm penalizing him for the fact that I completely forgot him, so how much juice does he have recently, you know?

#196591 DJ Vu

DJ Vu

    DJ Vu

  • Members
  • 2,862 posts
  • Gender:Male

Posted 19 July 2012 - 08:51 AM

We should make this into a weekly feature, so it factors in an overall contribution, but more heavily weights the last week. This is how I ranked everyone:1. ShakeZuma2. Ron_Mexico3. DJ Vu4. SuitedAces215. Napa_Don6. InternetExplorer7. brvheart8. The Ocho9. beans-n-icewater10. hank21311. JubilantLankyLad12. vbnautilus13. Quacktastic14. Roll the Bones15. runthemover16. Theraflu17. bz40418. Tiltinagain

#196592 DJ Vu

DJ Vu

    DJ Vu

  • Members
  • 2,862 posts
  • Gender:Male

Posted 19 July 2012 - 08:58 AM

It looks like my list has Thera, vb, run, Quack, and Randy on it. Obviously they aren't frequent posters, but I think they've all posted in the last week. VB had that burrito story; that was worth a lot.

#196593 SuitedAces21

SuitedAces21

    seriously shia

  • Members
  • 17,179 posts
  • Gender:Not Telling

Posted 19 July 2012 - 09:04 AM

1. Shake2. DJ3. Ronny Mex4. Nappy D5. Jubi6. Stratso7. runzo8. guapy 9. runzo10. beans11. vb12. theraflu13. speedz14. wang15. turd16. randy17. quack18. sbriand19. chrozzo20. tiltin21. brvy

#196594 Napa Lite

Napa Lite

    Poker Forum Veteran

  • Members
  • 1,927 posts
  • Gender:Male

Posted 19 July 2012 - 09:09 AM

Yeah, they probably would have been in at some point had I looked at posters in the last week or two, but I just went off my nogin' since I envisioned you frantically F5'ing waiting for my list.

#196595 DJ Vu

DJ Vu

    DJ Vu

  • Members
  • 2,862 posts
  • Gender:Male

Posted 19 July 2012 - 09:21 AM

Essay has some problems with his list.I don't hit refresh or F5. I just click on the "View New Content" button.

#196596 iZuma

iZuma

    Poker Forum Veteran

  • Members
  • 1,784 posts

Posted 19 July 2012 - 09:22 AM

you know, you would think it would make me happy that at least my miserable life is getting me commendations in here, but it does not. my fingers are burning a little less though so I guess there's that.

#196597 Essay21

Essay21

    144/233

  • Members
  • 2,306 posts
  • Gender:Male

Posted 19 July 2012 - 09:32 AM

You're right, brvy could be lower.

#196598 DJ Vu

DJ Vu

    DJ Vu

  • Members
  • 2,862 posts
  • Gender:Male

Posted 19 July 2012 - 09:35 AM

View PostiZuma, on 19 July 2012 - 09:22 AM, said:

you know, you would think it would make me happy that at least my miserable life is getting me commendations in here, but it does not.
I'm going to take that into consideration for next week's power rankings.Ever since we switched to this new board, I'm seeing everyone's avatars since I can't turn them off now. I actually find Rose's avatar to be kind of sexy.I cannot stress enough how wildly disconcerting this is. I really don't want that association happening.

#196599 iZuma

iZuma

    Poker Forum Veteran

  • Members
  • 1,784 posts

Posted 19 July 2012 - 09:42 AM

wow, she still posts?and so you're saying that next week I'm gonna be sub-chrozo?

#196600 SuitedAces21

SuitedAces21

    seriously shia

  • Members
  • 17,179 posts
  • Gender:Not Telling

Posted 19 July 2012 - 10:08 AM

was it ever confirmed that rose is a real person? i don't want to break the fourth wall here, but i wasn't in on the whole rose was a vb experiment thing.




3 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 2 guests, 1 anonymous users