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I Called In Sick Today


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If you are paying $20 for a haircut, I imagine people assume you did it yourself anyway.

and after 3 days, he is risen!

Pocket change cost me my first and only black girlfriend.   It was in the middle of a roaring poker boom and I was flush in ways most men don't even bother dreaming of. Money, it was like dirt to me

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Not even close. The total snowfall for the year through January was paltry, and the weather quite pleasant overall. There's only been a couple snow days from school.

 

2015 was stupid. Like 11 feet. Had 4-6 foot snow banks on my driveway for like 6 weeks. That's still fresh in my mind, so this feels pretty small by comparison.

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I was at the Lincoln Park Zoo today and it was hella-snowing. Sooooo beautiful to look at lions with the Chi-Town skyline behind during a strong snow.

 

Winter is awesome.

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It occurs to me that I never provided a TR for my trip to Vegas the weekend after Valentines day. My apologies, I know my fans (no one) have been anxiously awaiting word of my comings and goings.

 

Flew out Thursday evening. Flight was scheduled to take off at 6:50 and I live about an hour from the airport. Blondie was driving in that day after wrapping up parent conferences. Well, things went all pear shaped and she left late because her boss is a massive *******. She shows up at my house sometime after 5:30 so we gotta boogie. She's super upset, partly because of the stress of being late and partly because of the aforementioned ******* (not me). So she is basically sobbing most of the drive. We get lucky and get behind a car that wants to race. Every time I speed up and move to pass, they speed up. We end up doing about 90 most of the way to Omaha but it's still going to be close. About halfway I get tired of the crying routine and I tell blondie she's got about 10 minutes to get her shit together or I'm turning the car around because I refuse to become a spectacle in the airport wondering what the mean bastard did to make that poor woman cry so much. I know, it's a wonder I've been single all these years. She pulls it together and we get to the airport at about 6:20 but we still have to check in and check our bags. No time for economy parking as we can't risk having to wait for a shuttle. We park in the terminal garage and start scrambling for the counter. I walk in and I'm immediately greeted with a massive line by the Southwest check in and I just go "we're done." Blondie runs up to the front of the line to beg for cuts-ies and the dude says "lady we've been here like 5 hours because of a cancelled flight, there's nobody waiting to check in." Saved! Gal at the counter gets us our tickets and says there's no guarantee bags will make it on the plane so we may have to go back to the airport at some point. We scramble through security (thank god for tiny airports with no lines) and get to the gate just in time for our A boarding.

 

Get on the plane and I order a cocktail to unwind while me and blondie are relieved enough to start laughing about our trip thus far. I basically pound the drink and catch a few winks. Before long we're getting ready to land and it dawns on me that I never paid for my cocktail. Haven't landed in Vegas yet and I'm already up! Luckily enough the bags made it on the same flight as us so we head to the MGM to check in. Take care of all that (free room for all 3 nights, $100 resort credit, $50 free play). Drop our shit off in the room and decide we're starving. Blondie hadn't eaten all day so she was to the point of that hungry where you feel almost queasy. We decide to eat at Wolfang's bistro place there at MGM. Blondie has a really tasty chicken tortilla soup and I have a filet topped with crab and fingerling potatoes. Prettay, prettay good. Pretty much all the meals this trip were well above average. Had a few drinks and did a little gambling walking around and called it a night.

 

Friday we got up and headed over to Mandalay Shops so I could get my customary straight razor shave. Barber wasn't very good so it was subpar for their usual experience. Then we went to eat at Rick Moonen's RM Seafood. We each opted for the business lunch which is 3 courses from a limited menu. I added on a sampler of raw oysters to start and they were the bomb. Incredibly fresh and tasty but the hot sauces they provide for condiment selection were too many and the couple I tried were too spicy for oysters. Next I had the grilled octopus which was delish, followed by the cioppino fra diavolo which was mind blowing. Unfortunately, I didn't get to enjoy it as much as I would've liked. The main reason we went out to Vegas was to catch the Queens of the Stone Age show at the Cosmopolitan Friday night. As we're chatting over our food blondie asks "You got the tickets?" Immediately my jaw drops and my guts flip over in my body. I left the damn (paper) tickets in Nebraska. Sheeeeeeeeeeiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiittttttttttttttttttttttttt.

 

So we hastily finish what was otherwise a delicious lunch and I rush back to the room to get Ticketmaster on the horn to see what can be done. After about a half hour on hold I get a rep, explain my boneheaded move to her and throw myself on the mercy of Ticketmaster. A few clicks of a keyboard and she tells me a new pair will be waiting at will call 90 minutes before doors open. I am somewhat relieved. Not totally as it wouldn't be the first time some call center schmo lied to me, but somewhat. We grab a quick cat nap and play a little hide the salami before I figure I better get ready and head over to will call, just in case I need to make last minute calls for help. Blondie is going to wait for her brother who is driving in from L.A. to go to the show with us. We all neglected to realize it was a 3 day weekend and Chinese New Year so traffic was a bit heavier than expected on the ol' 15. I get to the Cosmo, find my way to will call and the lady asks for my info. I give her what she needs and she starts typing. Then she types a little more. Then still some more. My anxiety ratcheting up by orders of magnitude with each pause followed by the click of the keyboard. Soon, she reaches under a desk and presents me with 2 tickets to QotSA. I am beaming at this moment. Time for a drink.

 

I head to level 1 (of 3) of the chandelier bar because it's the only level you can gamble in and drink. So I sit at the bar and plunk my customary c-note in to play some video blackjack at the lowest denomination allowed: $1. I hit max credits when the bartender looks my way so I can get my free cocktail. Now, I expected max credits to be 5 or maybe even 10 credits. Nope! Played the full hundo on a single hand. As I'm sitting there staring at my 5-3 hand all I can think is that I'm the rube from that movie Swingers. So I take a card before standing, I'm not brimming with confidence at my measly little 17. Fortunately, the dealer busts right as the bartender brings me my drink. I'm sitting there in basically a state of relieved shock and she asks "You know you just won a hundred dollars right?" All I can think is "C'mon dude, you've been to Vegas plenty of times, you should know better! Play it off like you meant to do it." So I mutter yeah, it's a good night" or something stupid like that and she just laughs and says "Ok. Because you know sometimes people don't realize stuff like that." I immediately cash out and count my blessings. But my joyful shame wouldn't keep me away long.

 

I wander around a bit but the drink is going down fine and I soon find myself in need of a refill. I find an open machine at the bar, repeat my c-note deposit but this time I say, "whoa there hankers, let's play video poker it's got a 5 credit max and let's you play twenty-five cents per." So I start grinding away at poker and fluctuating between up a little to down a little. Not a loss big enough to move the blood pressure needle, not a win big enough to dilate the pupils. Blondie texts says her brother is almost there and they should meet me about a half hour or 45 minutes after the doors open. Late again! So there I sit, grinding away my max credits ($1.25) hands of poker and knocking back drinks and holding about even still. I'm about 5 or so vodka sevens deep at this point when I figure I should probably cut out the drinks for a bit so I don't either black out during the show or spend most of it in the pisser. I'm just about to wander off when I'm dealt a 10s, Ks, As. Now everybody knows 3 to a royal means you gotta go for it so I discard the 2 useless cards and bingo bango bongo there's that beautiful QJss that I didn't know I've been needing my whole life. My first royal flush at 4000 (quarters) to 1! I immediately text blondie and thank her for being late again. I cash out, tip the bartender 80 bucks and wander off to find my girl and her brother.

 

We meet up by the front door and head to the concert. Show was amazeballs. 2500 seater so it was nice and small. Craziest thing, the floor friggin bounces! I kept thinking we were going to end up on some "live at 10" local news segment about the disaster at the cosmopolitan but nope, she held. Did see a guy that looked dead basically come back to life from heat exhaustion or something. I think he took too much molly. After the show we grabbed a drink, a couple slices, and called it a night as her brother had to drive back the next morning and we each had massages booked at the spa.

 

Saturday got up, got a massage. Caught a shvitz. Then went to Emeril's fish house for lunch. I had some more Oysters, a tuna poke, and shrimp cocktail as part of a happy hour sampler. Blondie had frog's legs and a mojito. All quite tasty. That night went to dinner at Gordon Ramsay Steak which was celebrating its 5th year. I had eaten there once shortly after it opened and wasn't all that impressed but I wanted to take blondie there and also to give it another shot. I'm really glad I did. The waiter was excellent as was the manager. I had the wellington again and blondie, after her initial sticker shock, ordered the rib cap. We decided to split an order of the ginger mushrooms and holy crap were they the bomb. I have seriously dreamt about these mushrooms at least twice. The waiter convinced to look at the dessert menu and we decided to split the sticky toffee pudding with brown butter ice cream and, again, amazing. Really excellent meal. This trip I decided to eat the majority of the meals at nicer places. Usually I grab cheap stuff for lunch and have a nice dinner. But I wanted to do it different this time. Being up over a grand didn't hurt either.

 

Sunday we checked out of our room, check our bags with the bell hop and basically just roamed around. Got fake tattoos to freak out blondie's friends who think we're going to come home married after every trip. Did some more gambling and won a little here and there. Definitely came home up on gambling dollars. After food, concert, spa and incidentals, probably broke even.

 

Flew out about 7:30 and that was that.

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i didn't see the word cocaine in that report one time, which is disappointing. i never really understood the appeal of the straight razor shave. for one, i dont trust anyone enough to let them have a knife to my throat like that. and two i haven't shaved my face in 6 or 7 years. sounds like a nice trip though. i need to figure out how to get a free room like that.

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i didn't see the word cocaine in that report one time, which is disappointing. i never really understood the appeal of the straight razor shave. for one, i dont trust anyone enough to let them have a knife to my throat like that. and two i haven't shaved my face in 6 or 7 years. sounds like a nice trip though. i need to figure out how to get a free room like that.

 

I started getting free rooms because I dropped like 2500 on gambling alone the trip on my 40th birthday (that was also when I went to the UFC event and got hired an escort). Then they started blacking out more dates and weekends (unless of peak like Xmas etc) until I signed up for an FNBO mastercard that is partnered with Mlife (MGM players club). That automatically bumped me up a level in the player's club and that gets me better offers. I also have a total rewards visa for caesar's/harrah's properties but I haven't gambled enough there for free weekends yet. I'm on the sunday-thurs free with discounts on holidays and weekends plan with them basically. but it's got some other perks that are a bit better than mlife.

 

--edit

one doesn't say 'cocaine' you pleb. It's always implied though.

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Sorry, I didn’t read about you getting your hands on some delicious nose class, fresh from the sea.

 

I’m gonna look into a credit card for points. If it could get me free nights it would be worth it I think.

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I like that, it’s clean and simple. I’ve only owned one metal band watch in my life and I didn’t love the way it felt on my wrist. I think they look great, but I kept taking it off because I was uncomfortable or fidgeting with it. I’m going to take the watch that broke, it was the strap, to a jeweler and see if it can be replaced. It’s a cloth band I’d call it, light as a feather. I’d forget I had it on.

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Well this is the end result really: given that I came home pretty much even and had budgeted coming home with much less, I have opted to purchase the set of 5 ply stainless steel all clad brand cookware. It's basically found money so I can spring for the top of the line shit.

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and you'll be thanking me for something to read when you're on the shitter at work.

 

Nah, that’s sudoku time, baby.

 

Taking tomorrow and Friday off. Going to stay with a buddy in Fargo and watch and bet on all the games as they happen. Pretty excited for the time off, tbh.

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i'm flying to Miami today. be back on friday, so i'm going to miss a few games, maybe even the KU game. but that's the price you pay to take in some spring training baseball in between client meetings.

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I'm also off tomorrow and friday. I'll be doing nothing but watching bb, although I admit that if I was betting live on every game with a buddy that would make it much better.

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