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Gay Marriage, Polygamy, Polyamory


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#1 CraigKrill

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Posted 26 March 2013 - 11:56 PM

Been lurking here for awhile, some of you are smart, it seems to be a good mix of opinions with a smattering of stupidity here and there. Anyway, I am curious what the views are on this issue? I threw in Polygamy and Polyamory as well because I believe in love in all its forms and think it should be part of the discussion.

Just so you know, I do have a dog in this fight, as I am Poly and am involved in a four way "marriage" 2 dudes and 2 wimmens. So, my views will come from a biased stand point as I am very committed to both my wives and view then both as partners for life, and would love to be able to grant to both the rights that only one has.

#2 loogie

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Posted 27 March 2013 - 04:55 AM

It's Adam and Eve. Not Adam and Adam and Eve and Eve.

I haven't put much thought into the poly thing, but I have no objections.

#3 mrdannyg

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Posted 27 March 2013 - 10:15 AM

Different issues of course. Marriage has always been a contract between two people, with all the laws designed accordingly. We can all add on whatever meaning to marriage we want, but from a legal perspective, its just a contractual union.

From that perspective, gay marriage is a non-issue. Man/woman is no different than woman/woman, man/man, or any pairing between humans who define themselves however the hell they want.

Poly is different because the laws, as they are written now, don't really cover it. Seems like that'd be easy to change though, so people could choose to enter a 2-person contractual arrangement or a 2+ person. Pretty much every other type of contract can be between 2 people or 2+ people. Like any law, if enough people support the change, in relation to those who it would hurt (like gay marriage, this would be approximately 0 people), then the laws should allow for 3+ people to enter a contractual union too.
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#4 Balloon guy

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Posted 27 March 2013 - 02:36 PM

I'm sure the divorce lawyers are for it.

Be a hefty fee working out who owes whom alimony for support etc. What if one person wants out but the other 3 don't?

What if 3 want one out? Can he/she demand 1/4 the apartment?

Then of course custody of children, might need to work out some extra weekends for the 2nd mom's grandparents visits.

Hate for the Father Daughter dance to become a legal nightmare, but since 1st dad is still with 1st and 2nd mom, then 2nd dad cannot demand alternating dances unless he is current on child support payments and both alimony checks. ( or would it be 3 alimony checks? )

Yea, divorce lawyers are going to be rich
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#5 AmScray

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Posted 27 March 2013 - 04:05 PM

View Postmrdannyg, on 27 March 2013 - 10:15 AM, said:

Different issues of course. Marriage has always been a contract between two people, with all the laws designed accordingly. We can all add on whatever meaning to marriage we want, but from a legal perspective, its just a contractual union.

You jumped right on a failboat, sailed it to the middle of the ocean, raised a flag and ****ing sunk.

Marriage has 'aways been' a contract between a man and a woman. Recently, we've decided to expand that definition to include people of the same gender (which I happen to agree with, since gays are urban property value magicians and the more we can get them buying property together, the easier it is to speculate on what presently shitty ghetto neighborhoods are due to 'turn around')

Naturally, if human freedom is to be taken to a consistent level, then an adult man who wants to have five consenting adult wives should be perfectly legal as well.
There is no 'historical basis' to justify gay marriage but not polygamy.
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#6 AmScray

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Posted 27 March 2013 - 04:06 PM

Also, OP, I don't know how you can stand having another dude in the mix with equal rights to stick it to your women but whatever floats your boat.
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#7 colonel Feathers

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Posted 27 March 2013 - 05:23 PM

Pity the poor dude wat takes on 3 wives, then must face down 3 lawyers in divorce court.
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#8 CraigKrill

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Posted 28 March 2013 - 12:31 AM

View PostBalloon guy, on 27 March 2013 - 02:36 PM, said:

I'm sure the divorce lawyers are for it.

Be a hefty fee working out who owes whom alimony for support etc. What if one person wants out but the other 3 don't?

What if 3 want one out? Can he/she demand 1/4 the apartment?

Then of course custody of children, might need to work out some extra weekends for the 2nd mom's grandparents visits.

Hate for the Father Daughter dance to become a legal nightmare, but since 1st dad is still with 1st and 2nd mom, then 2nd dad cannot demand alternating dances unless he is current on child support payments and both alimony checks. ( or would it be 3 alimony checks? )

Yea, divorce lawyers are going to be rich


Actually, we have talked about "What if one wants out." Nightmare scenario, to be sure. How ****ing dumb will all of us look when we told the kids that love can look like a lot of things, mommy and daddy still love each other, etc., and then one of us bails? Ugh. That being said, if any one of us wanted out, that's fine, but rule number one would be, the bailing party doesn't have the right to interfere. Like, if I left I couldn't say my wife could no longer see second husband. (Truthfully I wouldn't want too, she loves him.) Could it all blow up? Sure, so could any marriage or business arrangement for that matter. I tend to think if it came to that we would figure it out because we are pretty good at just handling things, we have to be just to figure things out on a weekly basis. We already are very business like, we are not as much a family as we are an entity, everything goes into one account, we plan for retirement as one, we have been using our newfound leverage and financial freedom to pay down debt, were completely debt free outside if real estate by December, comfortably. All of us are massively in a better position then we were a year ago, if any of us wanted to leave that person basically gets a quarter of everything and a pretty fresh start. We're all in our late 30s so that may be even a temptation, who really knows?

Incidentally, our one year anniversary is in two days. No major plans, just going to spend an evening at the brewery where it all started and then do what we do. It's a good life.

#9 CraigKrill

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Posted 28 March 2013 - 12:50 AM

View PostAmScray, on 27 March 2013 - 04:06 PM, said:

Also, OP, I don't know how you can stand having another dude in the mix with equal rights to stick it to your women but whatever floats your boat.

Used to swing. What we do now was never supposed to be. To be sure, it took awhile to realize that it was even possible. When I realized I was in love, or had fallen for, number two, first I told number two, and then immediately called number one to tell her. Her reaction? "I could have told you that." Her strength and character allowing me to do what I do with number two is all I need to make it okay that another dick is running wild up in the house. By the same token he has been so cool with allowing wife number two the space to do what she does with me that I appreciate it and have no issue with the the time he spends with her as well.


It's a different set up, yeah, and it's not always easy but it works for me. I can tell you I am never bored and I am always tired, never enough sleep it seems, but I am happier then I have ever been in this life. I think for me I was always meant to be in this.

#10 mrdannyg

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Posted 28 March 2013 - 05:59 AM

View PostAmScray, on 27 March 2013 - 04:05 PM, said:

You jumped right on a failboat, sailed it to the middle of the ocean, raised a flag and ****ing sunk.

Marriage has 'aways been' a contract between a man and a woman. Recently, we've decided to expand that definition to include people of the same gender (which I happen to agree with, since gays are urban property value magicians and the more we can get them buying property together, the easier it is to speculate on what presently shitty ghetto neighborhoods are due to 'turn around')

Naturally, if human freedom is to be taken to a consistent level, then an adult man who wants to have five consenting adult wives should be perfectly legal as well.
There is no 'historical basis' to justify gay marriage but not polygamy.

Really wanted to shoehorn in that unclever quip, eh? We agree on everything. Maybe you need to read it again. The man/woman aspect of marriage is irrelevant to the laws currently in place. Two men or two women could get married, and the laws could apply to their marriage exactly as a man/woman marriage. Easy peasy.

The only "problem" with polygamy is that the marriage laws, as currently written, are not suitable, since certain remedies available to 2 person situations cannot be seamlessly applied to situations involving more than 2. Since we should govern laws, rather than the opposite, the only holdup is figuring out how the laws need to be amended to allow people in situations involving 3+ people similar settlement rights as the current laws to do situations involving 2.

View PostCraigKrill, on 28 March 2013 - 12:31 AM, said:

just going to spend an evening at the brewery where it all started

ha
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#11 mrdannyg

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Posted 28 March 2013 - 06:00 AM

View PostCraigKrill, on 28 March 2013 - 12:50 AM, said:

Used to swing. What we do now was never supposed to be. To be sure, it took awhile to realize that it was even possible. When I realized I was in love, or had fallen for, number two, first I told number two, and then immediately called number one to tell her. Her reaction? "I could have told you that." Her strength and character allowing me to do what I do with number two is all I need to make it okay that another dick is running wild up in the house. By the same token he has been so cool with allowing wife number two the space to do what she does with me that I appreciate it and have no issue with the the time he spends with her as well.


It's a different set up, yeah, and it's not always easy but it works for me. I can tell you I am never bored and I am always tired, never enough sleep it seems, but I am happier then I have ever been in this life. I think for me I was always meant to be in this.

Do you think it "only" works with 2 couples? Or could you see a situation involving uneven pairings (one man, three woman, or vice versa). What about involving 3+ couples?
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#12 Whiskers

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Posted 28 March 2013 - 07:33 AM

I don't have any questions, but CK's story is fascinating.

#13 colonel Feathers

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Posted 28 March 2013 - 12:11 PM

View PostCraigKrill, on 28 March 2013 - 12:50 AM, said:

Used to swing. What we do now was never supposed to be. To be sure, it took awhile to realize that it was even possible. When I realized I was in love, or had fallen for, number two, first I told number two, and then immediately called number one to tell her. Her reaction? "I could have told you that." Her strength and character allowing me to do what I do with number two is all I need to make it okay that another dick is running wild up in the house. By the same token he has been so cool with allowing wife number two the space to do what she does with me that I appreciate it and have no issue with the the time he spends with her as well.


It's a different set up, yeah, and it's not always easy but it works for me. I can tell you I am never bored and I am always tired, never enough sleep it seems, but I am happier then I have ever been in this life. I think for me I was always meant to be in this.
This set up seems more like 2 couples sharing a house, then a legitamate 4some where anything goes. Also , strength and character is not an issue in this conglomeration.
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#14 Whiskers

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Posted 28 March 2013 - 12:19 PM

View Postcolonel Feathers, on 28 March 2013 - 12:11 PM, said:

This set up seems more like 2 couples sharing a house, then a legitamate 4some where anything goes. Also , strength and character is not an issue in this conglomeration.

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#15 brvheart

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Posted 28 March 2013 - 12:24 PM

That gif is pretty awesome.

View PostiZuma, on 20 August 2012 - 11:32 AM, said:

napa I was jesus christing suited, you guys just slipped in before me.

View PostEssay21, on 25 February 2013 - 08:32 PM, said:

.

#16 BigDMcGee

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Posted 28 March 2013 - 02:22 PM

God made Adam and Eve, not Adam and Eve and Ted and Carol
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#17 Essay21

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Posted 28 March 2013 - 06:57 PM

he's gotta have a monster dong, right? only a guy with a monster dong isn't concerned with another dude plowing both his wives.

#18 BigDMcGee

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Posted 28 March 2013 - 07:22 PM

well, the other guy could have the monster dong, and he's into guys with monster dong's plowing his wives. Lord knows I'm into that.
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#19 Essay21

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Posted 28 March 2013 - 07:50 PM

i never really got that either. i don't want any monster dongs near my lady.

#20 CraigKrill

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Posted 28 March 2013 - 10:41 PM

View Postmrdannyg, on 28 March 2013 - 06:00 AM, said:



Do you think it "only" works with 2 couples? Or could you see a situation involving uneven pairings (one man, three woman, or vice versa). What about involving 3+ couples?

Depends on the individuals involved. We've talked about that, and initially we all just swung together. A lot of parties, a lot of group stuff, and for us we found that everybody else was a waste of time. I don't think we could handle a third, already not enough time to go around.




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