I Called In Sick Today

[InternetExplorer 2,620]

Shake had the best response for her next text. "Who is this? Deleted a bunch of numbers a while back"

yeah, true that. you don't want to have anything to do with this girl even if she does a full 180 after the silent treatment. that she's willing to do that to a guy, even unintentionally, is reason enough to rule her out as a potential girlfriend. you don't need that shit in your life.

[Ron_Mexico 4,238]

Man, strat hates this girl, rightfully so

 

If strat was a master cocksman, he'd seek this girl out, charm her, fck her, take pics and then send them to essay with "see, she's a horribly cunty twat. Forget her" then drop the mic and leave

[ShakeZuma 586]

and speaking of girlfriends I just got home from hanging out with mine. hoooahh whatdyaknow about that.

 

 

but anyways, essay just sign a god damn lease you pussy, ron start drinking, nick keep drinking, and everybody else blow me. I'm an INTJ or a high D high C. strange I know. don't seem like a D. but I AM SO LISTEN TO ME BITCH. but the C is bad too. it's tough being analytical and stupid at the same time.

[NickCave 194]

and speaking of girlfriends I just got home from hanging out with mine. hoooahh whatdyaknow about that.

 

 

but anyways, essay just sign a god damn lease you pussy, ron start drinking, nick keep drinking, and everybody else blow me. I'm an INTJ or a high D high C. strange I know. don't seem like a D. but I AM SO LISTEN TO ME BITCH. but the C is bad too. it's tough being analytical and stupid at the same time.

 

*clink* You got it, buddy.

[Tiltinagain 977]

I'm super nervous about tomorrow guys. Just going to call in sick. I kinda know the manager and that's why I didn't really apply. Talking to him last week he said he's pretty sure he wants to hire me, but he didn't say definitely and because I have low self-esteem I assume he's not that serious and I assume I'm the third worst of the three candidates and I'm stressed.

 

The best thing about interviewing for a job when you already have one is you've got a lot less to lose if you don't get it. It's not like you're going to continue to be unemployed or not be able to pay your rent if you don't get this job. That and the fact that this is most certainly not the last time you'll have the opportunity to interview for a similar job, should really take some of the pressure off. You'll get the offer.

 

Just don't shit in his office.

 

Hey SA, what if something horrible happened, like a family emergency, and she's been way too busy trying to hold the family together to have a minute to reach out to you but a simple one line text from a friend would really make her day?

[Essay21 2,387]

Hey SA, what if something horrible happened, like a family emergency, and she's been way too busy trying to hold the family together to have a minute to reach out to you but a simple one line text from a friend would really make her day?

 

how does she know i havent been so busy i cant text and would really appreciate her reaching out to me? why does it only go one way. why cant she text me? i texted her and asked her to hang out. she said she didnt know if she could. then the next day on gchat she didnt bring it up but said she'd text me when she got home. but she never did, tilty. she never did. so its on her. thats my line in the sand.

[Napa Lite 3,281]

Thanks, Tilty.

 

 

Essay, I feel you. It's hard. I had to do it with a girl whom I was hung up on for awhile and then kinda fell out of touch and then tried to reconnect with. She just used me and I had to stand up for myself. Haven't talked to her in years now. And I only think about her every few days. It gets better.

 

Aaaaand then she snapchatted me twice today. But, there's nothing there and I can only assume she snapchatted a ton of people and accidentally included me.

 

Edit: snapchat is really fun for some reason. Me and a buddy at work just randomly snapchatted pictures we covertly took of each other or other people during training the few days. I've got a few snapchats from coworkers that I want to see but I don't want to open then (because they can tell when you say the pictures) and that will blow my cover of "I took a nap because i wasnt feeling good and just fell asleep and that's why I missed the night at the ballpark" excuse.

 

Also, snapchat is an app where you basically text somebody a picture but they can only view it for a few seconds and then it deletes forever. And if they take a screen shot it tells you. All the kids are using it to send nudes these days. Me and my friends use it to send stupid pictures much like I figure early twitter was like.

[NickCave 194]

What if she is dying and can't communicate but she's conscious and her family reads her every text she gets? And she's in so much pain but she's holding on until she hears from you, her last dying wish?

[Essay21 2,387]

what if she's sucking a real mans dick and a text from me would draw a laugh from both of them? **** them. thats what i say.

[iQuack 128]

SA is keeping her alive! He can't text her now.

 

Edit: odd OL/DR...

[Tiltinagain 977]

That's the spirit SA. Sounds like you're sufficiently pissed off about the whole deal now. Congrats.

 

Lot's of fish in the sea, yada, yada, yada.

[Essay21 2,387]

That's the spirit SA. Sounds like you're sufficiently pissed off about the whole deal now. Congrats.

 

thanks. i'm clearly the winner here.

[NickCave 194]

There you go, bro. Change your avatar. METAPHOR.

 

In other news, I am going to throw some shade on this pint of vodka then stay up all night playing Borderlands or something. Maybe I'll grab some DLC with some of my Microsoft Points, see where that takes me.

[InternetExplorer 2,620]

Haven't talked to her in years now. And I only think about her every few days. It gets better.

I feel like I'd forget about them a lot faster (and it'd be a much smaller deal each time) if I had more prospects cycling through all the time. The girl from the bank got evicted pretty quickly as soon as the gamer moved in.

[The Ocho 972]

Thanks, Tilty.

 

 

Essay, I feel you. It's hard. I had to do it with a girl whom I was hung up on for awhile and then kinda fell out of touch and then tried to reconnect with. She just used me and I had to stand up for myself. Haven't talked to her in years now. And I only think about her every few days. It gets better.

 

Aaaaand then she snapchatted me twice today. But, there's nothing there and I can only assume she snapchatted a ton of people and accidentally included me.

 

Edit: snapchat is really fun for some reason. Me and a buddy at work just randomly snapchatted pictures we covertly took of each other or other people during training the few days. I've got a few snapchats from coworkers that I want to see but I don't want to open then (because they can tell when you say the pictures) and that will blow my cover of "I took a nap because i wasnt feeling good and just fell asleep and that's why I missed the night at the ballpark" excuse.

 

Also, snapchat is an app where you basically text somebody a picture but they can only view it for a few seconds and then it deletes forever. And if they take a screen shot it tells you. All the kids are using it to send nudes these days. Me and my friends use it to send stupid pictures much like I figure early twitter was like.

 

like literally a few seconds? If so everyone of you that I have your number are going to get snapchats of my dumps.

[NickCave 194]

I feel like I'd forget about them a lot faster (and it'd be a much smaller deal each time) if I had more prospects cycling through all the time. The girl from the bank got evicted pretty quickly as soon as the gamer moved in.

 

Any chance you'd be willing to summarize or detail your recent relationship history? I'm really interested, and I have a lot of night in front of me.

[NickCave 194]

I have both a court date AND a funeral on Monday. Is there a way for my day to be archetypically worse?

[JubilantLankyLad 1,960]

I have both a court date AND a funeral on Monday. Is there a way for my day to be archetypically worse?

You could wake up on Monday and find out you've switched bodies with your ex?

And that's how you find out she's pregnant?

And is reporting for Jury Duty?

For your case?

And someone stole your ipod?

[NickCave 194]

You could wake up on Monday and find out you've switched bodies with your ex?

And that's how you find out she's pregnant?

And is reporting for Jury Duty?

For your case?

And someone stole your ipod?

 

Haha, that's awesome! Someone stole my iPod out of my car last week!

 

 

My life is so fucking stupid.

[NickCave 194]

So if you could be any non-athlete in the sports world, who would it be? I think I might pick Vin Scully, but only because that's one of the few impressions I've never been able to do.

 

For real, Theo Epstein would be a pretty good get. RC Buford or Greg Popovich would be awesome; the former is especially unknown, even though he got wasted and drove into a fence, once. Andrew Friedman is pretty awesome. Belichick?

 

I think I'd pick Belichick, but I could be persuaded otherwise pretty easily.

 

 

Edit: What about WeirdName McRaptor? The Namibian dude? He might be a good pick. Koji Uehara? No, that's not it. Something....

[Napa Lite 3,281]

World Wide Wes or Jummy Goldstein. Does he count?

[ShakeZuma 586]

napa you better be up early prepping for your interview. you better be because this will surely be the last interview you'll ever have forever.

 

 

 

it has been raining for a... while. and it's not going to stop. this is too much rain.

[Napa Lite 3,281]

I'm on the road practicing my best fake sick voice.

 

Edit: man, Missouri has mile markers every .2 miles and it is infuriating. Just seems like such a waste of money. And also I hate seeing them and then instictively having to read them. Also I saw an Amish buggy.

[iZuma 766]

what was he boogieing to?

[Sickinfo2 291]

you're one of those cases where once you go so far beyond everyone else, it kind of circles on back to being normal. or, well, not normal. that's definitely not the word.

 

 

 

 

A cop told me much the same thing last night...

 

 

 

"Sir, the best I can tell you have broken at least five laws, but done in such a way I cant imagine a judge actually finding you guilty.... at this point Im just gonna ask you and your entourage here to quit and go home..... (stares at ground for several seconds).......yeah.... I cant even really justify that but I think it would prevent me from returning later tonight...... (looks at me for a few more seconds)...... man..... after twenty years on the force this is a first...... (reaches for shoulder mounted microphone, hesitates, then lowers hand)..... yeah...... (turns and looks at rookie with him)..... whats your thoughts?"

 

 

 

 

"Im coming back after the shift is over and hang out with these guys"

 

 

 

 

building on land you own is actually way cheaper I thought. beans can we get an opinion here?

 

 

 

Ill cover this for ya when I have a little more time....

 

 

 

 

Ever heard of exploding clay pigeons?

 

 

 

 

A salesman brought us some by the other day. Got all liquored up and had a literal blast with them....

 

 

 

Got me to thinking

 

 

 

As soon as the weather balloons get delivered Ill get started mixing the tannerite up....