I Called In Sick Today

[ShakeZuma 586]

that reminds me, napa should buy some ugg boots. finish out the ensamble.

 

 

 

 

so tomorrow is my favorite day of the year. we do this big city wide charity thing every year called the united way day of caring. bunch of companies stop working and donate their time to help different charities around the city. which here mostly amounts to lazy black people not wanting to fix their own crap. but still, it's an opportunity to get out of the office and show all of the women that I work with that I'm actually almost a man. well that hasn't happened yet, but hopefully one day. biggest problem is reconciling my love of not being in the office with my hatred of helping poor people, but I deal with it.

[Ron_Mexico 4,238]

Wait, all the dicks and balls is the bad part of being gay?

 

For some

 

All I know about the above abbreviation's spelling is that yours is incorrect.

 

Don't let your fancy animal medical degree go to your head. My shortening of the word usual to sound like a braj is spelled exactly "ushe".

 

In short, I'm right, as per ushe

 

so tomorrow is my favorite day of the year. we do this big city wide charity thing every year called the united way day of caring. bunch of companies stop working and donate their time to help different charities around the city. which here mostly amounts to lazy black people not wanting to fix their own crap. but still, it's an opportunity to get out of the office and show all of the women that I work with that I'm actually almost a man. well that hasn't happened yet, but hopefully one day. biggest problem is reconciling my love of not being in the office with my hatred of helping poor people, but I deal with it.

 

I just envisioned you showing up looking like the construction worker from the village people, mustache and all, taking a chainsaw to some poor person's shanty, until the supervisor shows up screaming at you that you're only there to paint the place

 

Even funnier to me than those thoughts, are you showing up to a poor person's house to fix it up, only to realize that it's in better shape than yours

[speedz99 145]

Even funnier to me than those thoughts, are you showing up to a poor person's house to fix it up, only to realize that it's in better shape than yours

 

Mhm, yep, this really is pretty funny.

[Tiltinagain 977]

So this job had me fill out a personality quiz. It was so stupid. Check the box next to the words that best describes you: hard working, lazy, passive, motivated, diligent, emotional, detail oriented, intelligent, uninformed, sociable, awkward, talkative, quiet.

 

Like seriously do they think anyone is answering this thing honestly?

 

I've been told that the reason these tests basically ask the same question over and over 5 different ways is that they can "tell" if you're not being honest. I don't buy it but that's what I've been told. I took one for my current job. I think it would be interesting to see.

 

I have come to the conclusion that if you're not selling something, rarely will you make real money, well, without being in some IT field. Especially with a limited education.

 

Just ask the CEO of Tumblr. Seriously though, you're pretty much spot on. I've worked in a few industries where the sales people far out earned the management.

 

In fact, I got let go from a job selling cell phones and car stereo/alarms many moons ago just for that reason. It was a small, one shop business and they had always just paid salesmen hourly pay. I had been working on commission previously and loved the part where you earn based on your ability and willingness to work, unlike hourly jobs where everyone brings home the same pay check regardless of their production. I convinced them to let me work on commission but they insisted on giving me a salary plus commission. I think they were afraid I wouldn't make enough on commission alone. WIthin 4 or 5 months I was making more than the store manager. So they called me in and said I "wasn't fitting in".

 

About 3 years later I opened my own cell phone store and the owner of the car stereo shop came by to tell me congrats and good luck on the business. So I asked him what the real reason was that he let me go since I was making him a bunch of money on my sales. He said the store manager caught wind of how much more I was making than him, threw a fit and they decided the easiest way to fix the problem was to let me go. Such shortsighted thinking.

 

I like real boobs, even on strippers.

 

 

Doc speakin' the truth!

 

 

Strat, I love ya man but sometimes I wonder how the hell you manage to get out of bed in the morning when you're in your negative frame of mind.

 

Which is pretty much always.

[JubilantLankyLad 1,960]

About 3 years later I opened my own cell phone store and the owner of the car stereo shop came by to tell me congrats and good luck on the business. So I asked him what the real reason was that he let me go since I was making him a bunch of money on my sales. He said the store manager caught wind of how much more I was making than him, threw a fit and they decided the easiest way to fix the problem was to let me go. Such shortsighted thinking.

 

God, it sounds like the owner fired you to appease the manager? Nice.

[InternetExplorer 2,620]

in reality, I probably wouldn't make it out of bed much if I were unemployed. I want to think I'd pick up and find something in Chicago or whatever but I doubt it would happen.

 

it's pretty true, I'm some kind of functioning depression sufferer right now. or something.

 

tonight I poked around looking at summer enrollment. I decided I am just going to keep at it on my own vs. wasting money on credits I have no intention of using.

[Theraflu 1,047]

functioning alcoholism is way more fun than functioning depression sufferer.

[Napa Lite 3,281]

Depression sucks. Even drinking isn't all that fun for me lately.

[Tiltinagain 977]

God, it sounds like the owner fired you to appease the manager? Nice.

 

Yes. That and I think he was worried that the other sales people, who were all paid hourly and some of which had been there for years, would find out and cause even

more drama. I knew when he let me go that that was the reason but it was nice to have it confirmed.

 

in reality, I probably wouldn't make it out of bed much if I were unemployed. I want to think I'd pick up and find something in Chicago or whatever but I doubt it would happen.

 

it's pretty true, I'm some kind of functioning depression sufferer right now. or something.

 

tonight I poked around looking at summer enrollment. I decided I am just going to keep at it on my own vs. wasting money on credits I have no intention of using.

 

Well that sucks. I hope you find a way to pull out of it soon. You're too good a dude to be bummed all the time.

 

pre post edit: Goes for you too Napa

[Sickinfo2 291]

Depression sucks. Even drinking isn't all that fun for me lately.

 

 

 

 

Yeah, you need to hit the doc up for some ssri's...

 

 

 

They sure turned me back in the proper direction, which is the opposite way of most correctly wired humans in the first place

 

 

 

I kept reasoning that my disinterest of past activities were just a "growing up and quit playing with toys" thing. Sense of humor went down the shitter to the point I just slightly giggled on rare occasions like when the wife suffered a crippling toe stub or something. Driving style plummeted from heel and tow redline downshifts into parking spots to lincoln town car handicap tags ten under in the fast lane.

 

 

 

Once rumors spread I was collecting urine in beer bottles I figured it was time to chat with doc, who had already tried to assist a few times in the past. It was just like turning a light switch back on within a week of taking citalopram. Only wished Id done it a year or so earlier. Missed out on a lot of fun in that time

 

 

 

I knew I was back when a new hangout at the shop asked Shane if I was dying of cancer or something since it appeared I was working on a bucket list or something. Shane told him...."Nah..thats just Beans"

 

 

 

 

Now on the flip side, being a professional people observer Im convinced there is a large population of folks out there who have never been undepressed....

 

 

 

...or its been so long since they were happy they dont know the difference

 

 

 

Played with one at the dice table last week. Guy acted like he was at a funeral. Didnt even crack a smile when I pitched the bones forward with a flick off my bicep. Frowned even.

 

 

 

 

Look for a new tee design in the Beans Store soon.... "SEX / PRESCRIPTION DRUGS / AND ROCK N ROLL!"

 

 

 

Use promo code ssri at checkout...

 

 

 

 

 

In other news, before the big storm came in yesterday a few of us gathered in the field for a session of drunk kite fights. For those not on meds, its a pretty fun way to kill an evening. Basically, you prepare a kite with as many razor blades as lift will allow and dogfight each other until one hits the ground before the other. Pros like myself use several feet of small gauge stainless wire between the kite and string as defense

 

 

 

Nobody has yet ciphered a way to reliably set fire to an opponent but Im working on it more and more as the participants and wagers increase....

 

 

 

 

Lost two hundred bucks in less than thirty seconds when a lightening bolt distracted me from an incoming kamikaze. Wont happen again

 

 

 

 

Woke up a few minutes ago with a new armored stealth design....

 

 

 

 

Just have to figure out how Ill see the thing if I paint it sky blue

[Sickinfo2 291]

Breaking news...

 

 

 

Top two candidates for stealth kite are non reflective clear plastic or sky blue paint.... used with IR glitter and night vision with day filter

 

 

 

I knew those long hours spent inside strip bars would pay off someday...

[Essay21 2,387]

Good morning everyone. I don't really have much to say. Whiskers, if you're still alive, I don't miss you at all. If you're dead, I'm not sure how ill go on. I'm very confused.

[Theraflu 1,047]

It should have been you!

[Essay21 2,387]

I wouldn't go that far, I mean I got a lot to live for.

[brvheart 1,768]

It really would suck if whiskers died. How would we know?

[InternetExplorer 2,620]

It really would suck if whiskers died. How would we know?

it just doesn't seem like the type of detail he'd share with us

[iZuma 766]

yeah, weird that a guy like whiskers would just disappear like that. for a whole week! and the week right before memorial day no less! doesn't make sense at all.

[Quacktastic 106]

It was that damn Sasquatch!!

[iZuma 766]

oh and boy am I glad beans is back. need another redneck in here. I get to feelin lonely.

 

 

so anyways, beans, a question for you: you ever use one of those stihl duro chains? they're supposed to be super tough and not need sharpening anywhere near as much, but apparently you have to have some sort of special diamond grinding wheen to sharpen them. thoughts? are they worth it?

 

 

also: I just got to use a bunch of my tools while volunteering. I like my tools.

[The Ocho 972]

Did you roll up to your volunteer day with your giant bag of Dewalt Tools all shined up to show off to the ladies at your work, then pull out your Roto hammer, point it in the air hit the button a couple time revving that thing like a Ferrari and then wink at them?

[Roll the Bones 74]

Breaking news...

 

 

 

Top two candidates for stealth kite are non reflective clear plastic or sky blue paint.... used with IR glitter and night vision with day filter

 

 

 

I knew those long hours spent inside strip bars would pay off someday...

 

This is pretty fantastic beans. In some cultures like Pakistan, kite fighting is a huge sport. I say we go kick some Paki ass on the old Kite field. I'd be up for working on this adventure just as soon as I finish the ohter dozen or so odd projects I haven't finished, half started, got bored with or am still working on. And that's not counting the stuff I have had to do because of the wife's naggin'. I have the desk refinishing project. A whole bunch of garden projects, and well house projects, (retaining wall), a new tree (the old one died 2 years ago and we can't decide on a replacement). I have been reading into meta-ethics along with the other 2 or 3 books I have going on. Obviously redecorating the house has been kinda fun, and I still need 4 rugs. (I am now officially a rug snob, yep I am). If you saw the old trunk I posted on FB, I actually have a book ordered on how to refinish old trunks and stuff that I am pretty excited about. I am hoping to do one for everyone on this forum and all my friends and family within the nexst 30 or so years. We are going to Traverse City this weekend to see a specific furniture store and hit up some rug and antique galleries. I am still into the minimalist running thing, work at the Foodbank on Friday, and do various other activities with the Freethought group. We have tickets for 7 concerts this summer. And did I mention my son knocked up the dumb chick with the nice ass he married? Got lots of stuff to do at his house as well..

 

I think you get the point. Who the hell has time to be depressed? Get busy. Make some stupid unrealistic goals and don't accomplish them, wash.rinse.repeat.

 

People think they are their own conscious which is laughable. Your conscious has two people or sides, think of them as the angel and devil, or whoever (Mastt Damon vs Brittany) and they are both constantly whispering in your ear what to do. It's important to recognize that and talk back to them. Don't ignore them. If people aren't looking at you like your crazy then you are doing it wrong. One says, "Go get some KFC!" You have to realize that the mother ****** doesn't have your interest at heart and is a mean bastard laughing as you gobble up buckets of grease. He's like the scorpion that stings the frog because it's in his nature. Really, it's just our evolutionary self telling you do the things that you need to survive, eat, breathe, masturbate etc.. But it doesn't have a governer to control the amount of horsepower. You have to do that.

 

And really the only thing stopping you from doing most things is yourself. The reason most don't run is because their brain tells them to stop, not because they can't physically do it. Recognizing that is how you overcome it. You turn off the voice, tell it you are not going to do that stupid shit, and eventually it goes away and comes back to nag somewhere else. That's really how I quit drinking. I rarely urge the urge to imbibe any more, but I know that if I do it's no big deal.

 

And really, the best thing for depression is eating and exercise, but you are probably too depressed to take that up. You have to think long term though and remember a dream is only over if you achieve it or you give up. That's also called irony. Listen to what the great greek of lumpy tennis shoes has to say, "Just do it!"

 

And really, do beans or I sound depressed? No. Do we seem crazy? Of course. We're like Yoda laying out the blueprint for you young pups. Get busy.

[Roll the Bones 74]

Oh, I was tellin' Deb Speedz wasn't going to go to Zataly rugs and haggle for us. And I mentioned that he apparently wasn't into going to the Brooklyn Flea Markets to look for cool bargains which is a shame, because they seriously have some of the coolest ones on the planet, with super creative crafty people and unique things and for me it's lots of fun just haggling on shit. Deb just sighed and looked up from the IPad and said, "That's a shame, he should be really good at it." #zingjewjoke haha

[Essay21 2,387]

So basically, just stop being depressed and you won't be depressed anymore.

[Sickinfo2 291]

you ever use one of those stihl duro chains? they're supposed to be super tough and not need sharpening anywhere near as much, but apparently you have to have some sort of special diamond grinding wheen to sharpen them. thoughts? are they worth it?

 

 

 

Never heard of them... sounds like theyre made of carbide like skil saw blades. If so, they should last quite a bit longer than plain steel. They sure do on saw blades

 

 

 

If they are it will take a diamond laced file/cutter to edge them. Ive tried sharpening carbide with a stone before... it just makes sparks

 

 

 

Ill put my feelers out to the tree crew that works around here and get back to ya

 

 

 

And really, do beans or I sound depressed? No. Do we seem crazy? Of course. We're like Yoda laying out the blueprint for you young pups. Get busy.

 

 

 

It snuck up on me when I wasnt lookin....

 

 

 

After some tuning up...testosterone and adderall... I can now leap tall projects in a single crown

 

 

 

Kills the ole appetite deader than a hammer, though. Ill have to increase the hops and barley intake to make up the difference

 

 

 

 

 

Heres an example... my latest project

 

 

 

http://www.flickr.co...56906/lightbox/

 

 

 

Ooooh the fun to be had. Got a shipment of DOM tubing and expanded metal on its way as we type. Ill have seatbelts for legality purposes, of course

 

 

 

 

Guaranteed to hit youtube within seconds of completing...

 

 

 

 

More than likely with the title... "Worst accident in history!"

 

 

 

 

Oh, and although this has always been on of my favorite tunes, for some reason I keep watching this on the shop monitor and playing air drums along with it...

 

 

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PNgcwwOihcs&list=SPAC76F74334013A04&index=5

 

 

 

 

Spilled my beer twice so far

[iZuma 766]

Did you roll up to your volunteer day with your giant bag of Dewalt Tools all shined up to show off to the ladies at your work, then pull out your Roto hammer, point it in the air hit the button a couple time revving that thing like a Ferrari and then wink at them?

 

dude, I did just that. no shit.