Whiskers 683 Posted May 16, 2013 Share Posted May 16, 2013 Well that got a little darker than I expected. I think the part that made me laugh the most was this: Edit: It was well written, informative, and funny. I hope there's more to come. Wasn't she writing a book? This is probably answered on the website. Link to post Share on other sites
Whiskers 683 Posted May 16, 2013 Share Posted May 16, 2013 By the way, this is the one that got me reading everything else: http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/04/alot-is-better-than-you-at-everything.html Link to post Share on other sites
NickCave 194 Posted May 16, 2013 Share Posted May 16, 2013 Well that got a little darker than I expected. I think the part that made me laugh the most was this: That entire exchange with the video rental clerk is hilarious. Allie- "I would like to rent all of these movies and also purchase all of these skittles." Clerk- "Having a party, eh?" Allie- "NOPE." Allie- "Hey do you think you could load me up? Thanks." Link to post Share on other sites
Ron_Mexico 4,238 Posted May 16, 2013 Share Posted May 16, 2013 oh and due to my recent obsession with cutting wood I just bought a tree identification guide and I just found out that I have two maple trees in my yard meaning I've been a canadian this entire time :( This is something you had to buy? Really? You couldn't just look it up on the Internet? Link to post Share on other sites
NickCave 194 Posted May 16, 2013 Share Posted May 16, 2013 By the way, this is the one that got me reading everything else: http://hyperboleanda...everything.html A couple years ago, I saw somebody use a funny picture, and when I image searched it, I found this story, which still might be my favorite. I was 45 minutes late to work because I couldn't stop reading her archives. I love the "responsible" and "hate myself" pictures Link to post Share on other sites
ShakeZuma 586 Posted May 16, 2013 Share Posted May 16, 2013 yeah I remember reading those many years ago when they were first posted in here by... hmmm... somebody... who knows who! This is something you had to buy? Really? You couldn't just look it up on the Internet? sure, and I have. the book I bought is available at the website I bought it from as a PDF for free. but it's kind of hard to take my laptop out into the woods with me to look at trees. pretty easy to take a book. IDIOT. plus it was $4.50 total. why the hell not. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Ron_Mexico 4,238 Posted May 17, 2013 Share Posted May 17, 2013 We just live different existences, I suppose. I would just use my phone. But hey, whatever works for ya fella. So far so good, eh? Link to post Share on other sites
InternetExplorer 2,620 Posted May 17, 2013 Share Posted May 17, 2013 Well, it makes perfect sense then, that you had him lined up for a big promotion... at my company, promotion decisions are made by people 2-3 rungs up the ladder, just with input from the direct supervisor obv. so perhaps this is his best-performing manager but nobody cares about his shortcomings? the associate II spot in my group got filled by some part-time A2 from another area in the firm. the manager of that area is pretty much a POS so it would have been a pretty awful situation to move into anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
Tiltinagain 977 Posted May 17, 2013 Share Posted May 17, 2013 the guy who can't ever admit he's wrong is your best manager? what the actual ****? how's it possible to function without ever considering the possibility of you being wrong? Well, I exagerrated his shortcomings to paint the picture. It's not like doesn't ever consider the possibility he's wrong, it's just not his first, or second, thought. And... at my company, promotion decisions are made by people 2-3 rungs up the ladder, just with input from the direct supervisor obv. so perhaps this is his best-performing manager but nobody cares about his shortcomings? the associate II spot in my group got filled by some part-time A2 from another area in the firm. the manager of that area is pretty much a POS so it would have been a pretty awful situation to move into anyway. He is the best performing manager, not just in my district but in the region. His store does a ton of business, makes a ton of money, his team loves him, works hard for him and are very loyal....save for the one that I transferred out then brought up the recent issue. Which seems to be losing some credibility after our interviews today. The girl said another girl (both girls are friends) has had the same problem with this manager and would say so. When she was talked to today she not only didn't say so, she denied ever having any problem with him. Not really sure what's going on at the moment but our thinking is that maybe he made some funny/innocent comments that everybody just laughed off and nobody ever complained about. Niether of the girls ever told him his comments (assuming they happened) were unwelcome or anything of the sort which means it doesn't cross over to the sexual harrassment level technically. He's probably going to get nothing more than a reminder to be careful about what he says, not to make any comments that could even be construed as harrassing in nature etc... But we'll see. Link to post Share on other sites
Theraflu 1,047 Posted May 17, 2013 Share Posted May 17, 2013 I feel like Tactical bear has a full multiple personality thing going, where one half is completely unaware of the other's history. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
InternetExplorer 2,620 Posted May 17, 2013 Share Posted May 17, 2013 yeah, this new guy is working out. he's somewhere between a tactical bear and a turd ferguson. Link to post Share on other sites
hank213 1,824 Posted May 17, 2013 Share Posted May 17, 2013 So, yesterday my senior asked me if I knew the name of someone at my old company and I did because it was the controller. Apparently she emailed him inviting him to interview but he didn't know for what job. So I texted my old boss and asked her what was up and she said that the douche I never like left and so they're filling the spot. Now when douche took that job I could have if I wanted it but it didn't make any sense for me to at the time. They then eventually rehired the guy that quit who opened that position and I'm not sure why they're not moving him back to his old job and I don't know if its my place to ask. All that said, and I know it doesn't make any sense, because I'm having one of those days where going back doesn't seem like such a bad idea. I could probably go through that and make it understandable, but does it really matter? What does matter is I've been thinking about fb messaging that girl from my old job, who's number I deleted so I can't text her, and haven't had any contact with her since that one night I won't tell you guys about. Somebody tell me that that's a bad idea and to not do it. I think you may have created a whole new genre. The long form, vague, fb attention whore post. I don't want to violate any attorney client privilege type rules, so I'll just give a quick synopsis. So Nap is banging this broad for like an hour, I mean he's like Strat on his trip to London, guy is digging tunnels. And after an hour this bitch is like this is the most amazing sex of my life, Nap, don't ever stop giving it to me. And Nap was all like bitch don't tell me what to do, so he stopped giving it to her and gave it to her roommate. Bitch was all like sad and mad and shit and yelled at Nap and told him he wasn't even that good at accounting. So Nap did her taxes right there while plugging the roommate and even got her a bigger than anticipated refund. Eventually Nap finished and went home. The end. sounds like you just wrote the screenplay for H&R Cock as your non-attorney I advise you to get Brazzers on the phone immediately. You're lookin at this all wrong. The kid should be the deal maker. Single moms are so excited for attention that you can talk them into ANYTHING maybe even pooping on her CHEST! It's not so much that I'm picky as it's that I'm extremely fat, ugly, lazy, and generally unpleasant to be around. well, mid-price escorts gotta eat too. hey I'm all of those AND unsuccessful! I win! well, lot lizards gotta eat too. i just think a crisp white tee is a good look. leather blazer over it or full cholo with the dickees? Why not eat the whole cucumber? pesky gag reflex? I'm not against stealing jokes if I can get away with it. I'm not funny but I want I be and I'll cheat and lie and steal to get what I want. I broke out the rape joke last night in line at a concert. some teeny bopper talking about how her bf is, like, getting, you know, passed over at comedy shows and stuff and he's, like, waaaay funnier. he's got abortion jokes and rape jokes and omg so funny. so i drop the joke and they just looked shocked. i disappeared into the crowd before she could locate any authorities. oh and due to my recent obsession with cutting wood I just bought a tree identification guide and I just found out that I have two maple trees in my yard meaning I've been a canadian this entire time :( i want some syrup dammit. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
JubilantLankyLad 1,960 Posted May 17, 2013 Share Posted May 17, 2013 oh and due to my recent obsession with cutting wood I just bought a tree identification guide and I just found out that I have two maple trees in my yard meaning I've been a canadian this entire time :( How can you fail to ID a Maple tree? I mean, they're pretty distinctive. Even for pseudo-Canadians like you and Tim Riggins. Did you draw that yourself? You're really talented! I've read every single entry of Hyperbole and a Half. Except these two recent ones. I think it had been a couple years since she posted anything, so I stopped checking. I'm going to read these new ones now though... Halloween 2011 well, mid-price escorts gotta eat too. I was in Vegas last weekend (sorry, was anyone there too that I could have not actually met up with? I did see Zimmer briefly). My friend Steve (he's Scottish) and I (Canadian), were arguing with an Irishman, a Russian, and a Vietnamese guy at a bar about politics. meanwhile there was some fat hooker generously proportioned lady of the night there trying to get our attention. Eventually during a momentary lull, she stood up and said "Can we all just stop arguing about politics and go upstairs and FUCK???" She got several dismissive handwaves and the discussion went on. Silly hookers. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
NickCave 194 Posted May 17, 2013 Share Posted May 17, 2013 I feel like I'm being referred to in an offhand way, but I don't know quite how. In other news what is the word for the sound small rodents make when they're in you're walls? I really, really need it to describe something. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Essay21 2,387 Posted May 17, 2013 Share Posted May 17, 2013 In other news what is the word for the sound small rodents make when they're in you're walls? I really, really need it to describe something. Link to post Share on other sites
The Ocho 972 Posted May 17, 2013 Share Posted May 17, 2013 skittering? skattering? scritching? Link to post Share on other sites
NickCave 194 Posted May 17, 2013 Share Posted May 17, 2013 I don't know what this is supposed to mean. I don't even know if Essay's response is positive, negative, or neutral. Here are a few things I do know - Louis CK (LCK) is on the funniest living human shortlist. Furthermore, given his age and recent form, he has a non-zero chance of dying as the funniest human ever. SEEMS LIKE A GOOD THING - The above GIF is, above all things, reactionary. It is meant to evoke a sense of reaction. However, that reaction is not, so far as I can tell, in any way positive. It evokes confusion, mand probably even disgust. No matter what, it's absolutely a pulling away. NOT GOOD - What I said was a stand-up style joke. LCK, per the first line, is a stand-up comic. Essay was almost certainly commenting on the "what's the deal with with airplane food? badump ching!" nature of my post. CAN ONLY BE GOOD. - Essay did not LIKE my post. BEST CASE NEUTRAL WORST CASE BAD. - Upon further review, there is no chance Essay was favorably comparing me with LCK. MICHAEL CERA EMMA STONE FILM TITLE. My conclusion is that Essay was saying, "Hey, LOOK AT THIS GUY, making jokes in a way. Check that out." 2 Link to post Share on other sites
ShakeZuma 586 Posted May 17, 2013 Share Posted May 17, 2013 I think he was just recoiling at the thought of a rodent in one's walls. don't forget that he's a huge pussy. How can you fail to ID a Maple tree? I mean, they're pretty distinctive. Even for pseudo-Canadians like you and Tim Riggins. well it's actually a white maple or red maple (can't remember which one right now) and the leaves don't really look like the famous canadian maple leaf. it's more rounded and only has three points, not 11 like the one on your flag. also I never cared before. Link to post Share on other sites
Sickinfo2 291 Posted May 17, 2013 Share Posted May 17, 2013 oh and due to my recent obsession with cutting wood I just bought a tree identification guide and I just found out that I have two maple trees in my yard meaning I've been a canadian this entire time :( I identified those for ya a couple years back.... remember the helicopter discussion? Congrats on the land... I feel like Tactical bear has a full multiple personality thing going, where one half is completely unaware of the other's history. Agreed yeah, this new guy is working out. he's somewhere between a tactical bear and a turd ferguson. Very enjoyable stuff, indeed... A hard drinking floorman with relationship problems. Some of my best friends in the world. Throws out comps to screw over the casino they have grown to hate so much Halfway through each post I keep wanting to ask for a line pass or something.... I was in Vegas last weekend she stood up and said "Can we all just stop arguing about politics and go upstairs and ****???" Silly hookers. I think you stepped over me in Mandalay last Tuesday.... nice shoes Hopefully you got a dose of our bullhorn as well. Drove the strip a couple passes shouting at tourists.... Metro intervened and confiscated the equipment in the turn lane to the mirage. No sense of humor these days. I noticed the ladies were more aggressive than normal as well. Gettin younger too... My favorite was the little gal from reno. Must have been eighteen, looked like fourteen. Blond pigtails, school girl outfit, and a sucker in her hand about the size of a frisbee Shane and I gave her a couple black checks to hang out at the twenty one bench with us for a while... Keep a watch for her the next time youre in town.... hopefully she takes my advice and has the coloring book and crayons addition to the ensemble Link to post Share on other sites
Sickinfo2 291 Posted May 17, 2013 Share Posted May 17, 2013 well it's actually a white maple or red maple We call them river maples... Link to post Share on other sites
iZuma 766 Posted May 17, 2013 Share Posted May 17, 2013 yeah silver maple, that's what one of them is. I was thinking about white ash, that's why I said white maple. gonna try to find one of those white ashes on my land because they're apparently great for firewood. the other maple is the red maple. that's the really rounded one. I know ron mexico is loving this discussion. Link to post Share on other sites
Essay21 2,387 Posted May 17, 2013 Share Posted May 17, 2013 I don't know what this is supposed to mean. I don't even know if Essay's response is positive, negative, or neutral. Here are a few things I do know - Louis CK (LCK) is on the funniest living human shortlist. Furthermore, given his age and recent form, he has a non-zero chance of dying as the funniest human ever. SEEMS LIKE A GOOD THING - The above GIF is, above all things, reactionary. It is meant to evoke a sense of reaction. However, that reaction is not, so far as I can tell, in any way positive. It evokes confusion, mand probably even disgust. No matter what, it's absolutely a pulling away. NOT GOOD - What I said was a stand-up style joke. LCK, per the first line, is a stand-up comic. Essay was almost certainly commenting on the "what's the deal with with airplane food? badump ching!" nature of my post. CAN ONLY BE GOOD. - Essay did not LIKE my post. BEST CASE NEUTRAL WORST CASE BAD. - Upon further review, there is no chance Essay was favorably comparing me with LCK. MICHAEL CERA EMMA STONE FILM TITLE. My conclusion is that Essay was saying, "Hey, LOOK AT THIS GUY, making jokes in a way. Check that out." this is the hot stuff. but honestly, i was just giving you a visual representation of my word to describe a rodent in my wall. that's how i'd look if i heard such a thing. that is how i'd feel. Link to post Share on other sites
brvheart 1,768 Posted May 17, 2013 Share Posted May 17, 2013 Oh hell, I'll tell a story.... Oh man, this was a funny back-to-back post. I laughed out of my mouth and everything. Link to post Share on other sites
brvheart 1,768 Posted May 17, 2013 Share Posted May 17, 2013 I feel like Tactical bear has a full multiple personality thing going, where one half is completely unaware of the other's history. I don't understand this post at all. Link to post Share on other sites
Essay21 2,387 Posted May 17, 2013 Share Posted May 17, 2013 I think he was just recoiling at the thought of a rodent in one's walls. don't forget that he's a huge pussy. This guy knows me. Link to post Share on other sites
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