Jump to content

I Called In Sick Today


Recommended Posts

Shake take it easy on tilty he's an expert in the field. You wouldn't understand the pressure he's under to produce in this economy.

 

Does that joke make any sense? Probably not but I don't care.

 

I am sick. Something is wrong with me. I feel terrible. Flying should clear that up though, right?

 

It's 50/50 I puke. I can feel it coming (in the air tonight).

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Replies 268.4k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

  • Ron_Mexico

    19414

  • speedz99

    16304

  • Napa Lite

    7767

  • ShakeZuma

    7517

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Posts

and after 3 days, he is risen!

If you are paying $20 for a haircut, I imagine people assume you did it yourself anyway.

Pocket change cost me my first and only black girlfriend.   It was in the middle of a roaring poker boom and I was flush in ways most men don't even bother dreaming of. Money, it was like dirt to me

Posted Images

 

Does that joke make any sense? Probably not but I don't care.

 

 

ahjeez.gif

Link to post
Share on other sites

Well, clearly I've asked for this. I told you guys that I like staying home sick, and when I started this rotation going out to the farms I said that if anyone was going to get crypto it'd probably be me. Well I've got it, and it sucks. Here's the short version:

 

-101 fever Sunday at 3pm

-Vomited Monday at 4am

-Diarrhea started Monday at 10am - explosive, watery, and every 10-15 minutes

-Finally fell asleep at 1am this morning, afraid that I would be shitting my pants

-At 2am, woke up to freaky full body muscle cramps and super dry mouth - decided to go to the hospital because crypto tends to send people there for IV fluids, and it's better done sooner rather than later once you're systemically dehydrated, which I clearly was

-On the way to hospital, started feeling very light-headed with some arm tingling

-Vomited outside the doors to the emergency room, 5 feet from the poor valet guy who was trying to tell us to give him our keys

-Listened to the admitting doctor tell me the cramps (which started when I was sleeping), light-headedness, and fast heart rate were from anxiety. Kept my mouth shut to get through to a better doctor. Temp on admittance was 99.2.

-Got to a better doctor who quickly realized I was super dehydrated...plus probably anxious, but that's neither here nor there

-Got 1L of IV fluids

-Told the doctor I felt like my fever was coming back. Was ignored.

-Told the RN I felt like my fever was coming back. She took my temperature, looked confused, and took it again. 104. Felt nauseous too, so got injectable anti-nausea meds and took some Tylenol.

-Got a second liter of IV fluids, took a nap while they were running in, and felt a million times better when I woke up.

-Home from hospital at 8am.

 

The best news is that the diarrhea is now every 30-45 minutes, not every 10-15. Easier to keep up with oral fluids and easier on the anus.

Link to post
Share on other sites

lots of petty things going badly for me right now. so it would make sense that I sound especially wristslashy. I'm in desperate need of my bed, darkness, and a good album.

 

6fAGg.gif

Link to post
Share on other sites

a valet at a hospital?! do you live in bel air???

 

 

(I have never been to an emergency room. this may be standard but then I wouldn't be able to make fun of speedz as he's near death.)

Link to post
Share on other sites

The hospital in Worcester, MA. The kind of place where you expect to see gunshot victims while you're there. I think it's pretty common for emergency rooms to have a valet because there's rarely a lot of parking available right in front of the door and most people with emergencies don't want to park far away. I think, I dunno. Is Bel Air even a real place?

Link to post
Share on other sites

Well, clearly I've asked for this. I told you guys that I like staying home sick, and when I started this rotation going out to the farms I said that if anyone was going to get crypto it'd probably be me. Well I've got it, and it sucks. Here's the short version:

 

I hope you were on the fat end of your body weight cycle. Then you wouldn't even need to worry about dieting.

 

Although if you were on the skinny end, you could go nuts eating to put the weight back. Hmm.

Link to post
Share on other sites

$5 mil in the bank @ 8% a year gives you $400,000 a year, pre tax without ever touching the principal.

I want to know where you fucking bank, jesus christ

Bank??? Nobody puts real money with a regular bank. Idiot.

oh. so when you said "bank" you meant "something completely different from a bank."

Oh right. By "where do you bank?" I obviously should have known you meant "where do you have your investment dollars?"

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites

I hope you were on the fat end of your body weight cycle. Then you wouldn't even need to worry about dieting.

 

Yeah, this is about where I'm at. And I'm going to beachland in about a month, so I wanted to lose 5-7 pounds. It's actually great timing.

 

Although if you were on the skinny end, you could go nuts eating to put the weight back. Hmm.

 

Well now I wish this was the case. Dick.

Link to post
Share on other sites

oh beans, I forgot to mention how much I enjoyed your drunkicapped parking video.

 

 

 

When I returned to the truck and tossed the beer in the back seat a cute little gal who worked there came up and opened the passenger door...

 

 

 

"Are you my ride?"

 

 

"I can be...where ya headed?"

 

 

"Did Josh send you?"

 

 

"I dunno who that is"

 

 

"Oh...sorry...my car broke down and the manager asked someone to take me home"

 

 

"Whats the car doing?"

 

 

"It goes click click click"

 

 

"Where is it?"

 

 

(Ten minutes later Beans and the jumper cables fire up the old Sunfire car)

 

 

"Left your lights on this morning, huh?"

 

 

(looks at switch)

 

 

"Sure did...that was stupid!"

 

 

"It was foggy...happens all the time"

 

 

"How much do I owe ya for helping me?"

 

 

"Well...lets see here... one jump....a five hundred foor ride... that beer there....uh..........nuthin"

 

 

(cute smile)

 

 

"Youre pretty great...thanks a bunch"

 

 

"See ya"

 

 

 

 

(next day Beans and the hag walk in store)

 

 

 

 

"Hiya Beans!"

 

 

"Hey!"

 

 

 

Wife: "Whos that?"

 

 

 

"I dunno....some college gal I jumped yesterday"

 

 

 

"...."

 

 

 

(I have never been to an emergency room. this may be standard but then I wouldn't be able to make fun of speedz as he's near death.)

 

 

 

Since he was there roughly six hours, I assume he sat in the waiting room for five and a half...

 

 

 

If you ever go...lets say for a bad cut...stagger in with terrible chest pains. That will get you in the back with the quacks faster

 

 

 

 

 

 

Id go into more details about how to work the system but looks like I have the rest of the day reading the discussion on my post last night. Hope it dont turn out like that constant KC casino ramble of a while back....

  • Like 3
Link to post
Share on other sites

e4744dbb6ba4.gif

 

Haha.

 

Wife: "Whos that?"

 

"I dunno....some college gal I jumped yesterday"

 

"...."

 

Heh.

 

Since he was there roughly six hours, I assume he sat in the waiting room for five and a half...

 

Incredibly, we didn't have to wait at all. It was a slow night...plus the folks at the desk watched me puke a few feet from their front door, so I'm thinking they wanted me out of the lobby asap.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Well, I guess it's 30 seconds of this song. You start out with one person doing a weird dance, then partway through (when the beat drops?) a lot of people start doing weird dances. It's mildly amusing some of the time. What's that? You'd like to see a compilation?

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b1_3e1fXrKY

 

After you watch some of those, you can scroll down to my favorite.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EZC1siHMvYE

Link to post
Share on other sites

There's a dude here at this bank who isn't much older than I am but he's got a nice fancy office and I was feeling down about it. But then I remembered I get to do payroll and see he makes a non unsubstantial amount less than me and that cheered me up.

 

Edit: he probably never had to sing though.

Link to post
Share on other sites

There's a dude here at this bank who isn't much older than I am but he's got a nice fancy office and I was feeling down about it. But then I remembered I get to do payroll and see he makes a non unsubstantial amount less than me and that cheered me up.

 

Wait, like a bank, bank? Or the other, unspecified kind of bank?

 

What do you do for payroll? I thought that stuff was all automated nowadays.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

Announcements


×
×
  • Create New...