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I Called In Sick Today


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and after 3 days, he is risen!

If you are paying $20 for a haircut, I imagine people assume you did it yourself anyway.

Pocket change cost me my first and only black girlfriend.   It was in the middle of a roaring poker boom and I was flush in ways most men don't even bother dreaming of. Money, it was like dirt to me

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So I was involved in a four car pile up today...

 

 

 

Technically I was at fault. Came around a corner and t-boned the guy in front of me, causing him to veer into the car in front of him. Guy behind me was as plastered as I was and slammed into my back bumper

 

 

 

I was in the process of filming for a twitter video...the impact sent my phone flying into the middle of the road

 

 

 

Ill upload it as soon as the ice pack numbs the back of my neck...

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oh beans

 

I actually think that you need an opener, a starter, in the parlance of baseball. Havel have someone start the game, toss 6 innings, you come in and close the deal. Essentially, have someone else break the ice and introduce you and you can feel more comfortable. I had a perfect buddy for that. I could come in to a situation that wasnt a cold approach and close the game like Mitch Williams. You know, a few high hard ones, a comedy of errors but ultimately, effective.

 

 

Have you considered Xanax?

 

yeah used to have a buddy like that actually. now he's married. asshole.

 

and oh yeah, I love me some xanex. doesn't exactly help with the ladies though cause it puts me to sleep. but it does help me not worry about getting women, so there's that.

 

Hard to act like gosling when you look like a really ugly guy.

 

this is what I've been saying! stupid people and their advice!

 

You guys talk about your feelings a lot.

 

well see, that's because we're all a bunch of mostly homosexuals that still have just enough straight genes to make us mostly like women. not ocho though, HE'S ALL FUCKING MAN.

 

HOW'D THE BLEEPIN BAY OF PIGS GO?

I mean I said what I wanted to say and basically was told that because of her last break up she isn't ready. We get along great, and maybe we can move forward someday, but right now she isn't ready. I'm great though. She really likes me and all that. I mean it's not me, it's her.

I got the it's not you it's me. That's how it went.

 

she gave you the "it's not you it's me"?! you invented the "it's not you it's me"!!! but yeah, like others have said, break off all communication. even if she texts you, just ignore it. f that b.

 

but given all that, how'd the raping go?

 

You know what online dating is good for? Immersion therapy...going on a ton of dates, no matter how painful they are, because after a bunch of them you get a comfort level with it. After you've awkwardly gone in for a bunch of first kisses, not caring if it goes terribly because you'll never have to see those girls again if you don't want to, you'll be relatively competent at it when the real thing happens. I feel like a few of you around here need to just sack up and force yourself to do it.

 

this is a lovely idea unless you live in a place where you see all the same people all of the time. I know I know, mtarcypos. but I don't think I could do it anyways. way too uncomfortable and weird. much easier to be alone and miserable!

 

I think aiming for CSL is aiming too high.

 

but if you aim for the goslings and miss, you'll still land in the paul rudds...

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So move.

 

Oh beans. I hope you didn't hurt anyone, if only because I feel like there's someone around here who hates drunk driving and will have an "I told you so" waiting. Although maybe it was LG, in which case you're off the hook.

 

How did you t-bone someone coming around a corner? Do you mean that you came around the corner and crossed over another street?

 

 

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Got called on in class this morning. I was like the basis is clearly 40k, sold for 52k and boom goes the 12k gain.

 

Bitch was like, yes that's correct but what does section 1001e have to say about the percentage of the remainder estate compared to the overall basis.

 

I don't know.

 

Did you do the reading?

 

Dammit

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After you've awkwardly gone in for a bunch of first kisses, not caring if it goes terribly because you'll never have to see those girls again if you don't want to, you'll be relatively competent at it when the real thing happens.

 

Yeah, instead of going straight to "being more confident," you start off with "total lack of shame" and build up to it. I like it.

 

 

I feel like I quoted more things, but I guess not.

 

 

Essay, you should've done the assigned reading instead of getting broken up with.

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well I'm excited to get home to watch it.

 

 

so I've been talking to the girl I'm in love with quite a bit more lately. so far she's called me weird about 5 times and a stalker twice. she was joking though. I think.

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so I've been talking to the girl I'm in love with quite a bit more lately. so far she's called me weird about 5 times and a stalker twice. she was joking though. I think.

 

I think that's what girls say when they're being flirty and like that you're sort of stalking them. I think.

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