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I Called In Sick Today


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and after 3 days, he is risen!

If you are paying $20 for a haircut, I imagine people assume you did it yourself anyway.

Pocket change cost me my first and only black girlfriend.   It was in the middle of a roaring poker boom and I was flush in ways most men don't even bother dreaming of. Money, it was like dirt to me

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Thats....I....umm.....I don't know what to say about that.Now if they were swimming in the nude....Congrats on the impending nuptials shake!! But, how's she going to take it when she realizes what kind of diamond 3 months of your salary buys?
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Yes. So did you have a relationship talk first?
actually I was snoring first. she woke me up to bang apparently. second time in my life that's happened. and you know, yeah, great and all, but it kind of irks me because if I did that, you know, it'd be rape. damn women and all their abilities.
What's your fiancé going to think, Shake?!
it's just terrible isn't it. but actually, at the bar last night (it didn't end up raining so we did end up going out to the thing and then a bar afterwards) I saw the girl's friend that I know and if I'm remembering correctly, I believe I told her all about how in love I was with her. I'm pretty sure I remember saying "please don't tell her I told you this" but again, women. it may get uncomfortable.not because of the banging though. nigga needs practice.
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Yay shake. Good for you AND your penis. I am currently on the top floor of my hotel, window open, ocean waves crashing on a mere 80 yards away. It doesn't suck. Be jealous and check out the hotel. The Omphoy Hotel in Palm Beach, or Lake Worth. Not sure what city exactly. This pretty nice. Really super sexy drunk girl and her husband at the bar last night. Pretty sure she invited us back to their room but they were way drunk and almost gone. Too bad, she was hot.

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actually I was snoring first. she woke me up to bang apparently. second time in my life that's happened. and you know, yeah, great and all, but it kind of irks me because if I did that, you know, it'd be rape. damn women and all their abilities.
Wait. So you're complaining that you can't go around raping women?
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