I Called In Sick Today

[iZuma 766]

for guys like me and suited it sure is

[Essay21 2,387]

yeah it's def possible. we are going to dinner tonight so i just have to say something. literally 20 seconds of talking and i can look myself in the mirror and call myself a man like creature. goddamn guy cutting the grass at our apartment complex woke me up. he can't do that after 2 p.m.? show some courtesy dickhead.

[Napa Lite 3,281]

What's it like to have a girl wanting to spend any amount of time with you guys?And did you watch "We Bought a Zoo" lately, Essay? That's one of Matt D's big points "you only need to be courageous for thirty seconds" or something.

[Essay21 2,387]

nah haven't seen that one. i've just had to convince myself that 30 seconds is enough to be a man. i think you can guess why.

[Tiltinagain 977]

Is that like a real thing that happens?

If you're invited on an out of town trip, especially a wedding, it's an invitation to pound town in my book.Also, I want an Olympic kayaking course in my back yard.

[Essay21 2,387]

NO ONE ****IN ASKED YOU. YOU **** ****** DICK LOVING ******************* **** *******.

[DJ Vu 176]

So how far is Omaha from you anyway? Are you driving there and back same day?

[Essay21 2,387]

its three hours or so away. we have a hotel room so def staying at least one night. haven't discussed the trip details yet. i just want to avoid any awkwardness when we get there. i mean things need to be said. actions need to be taken. men need to be men here boys.

[Ron_Mexico 4,238]

so why did you drive home at two in the morning? that seems like a questionable decision.

Wanted to start the next day home. Didn't want to go back to friends house to sleep badly on a strange bed. Not sure if it was clear but I wasn't drunk or anything. Just tired. Actually, not even tired when I left poetry room. Tiredness set in about an hour into the drive

yeah man that was a little bunk. didn't you see my tweet yesterday? my roomie ****ed his car up driving home from a bar five minutes from our apartment.

See above good sir

[Ron_Mexico 4,238]

My slow day of drinking started at noon and ended at 5pm or so. Drive home at 2am.

[iZuma 766]

wait, you have a hotel room? together? yeah you stupid bro

[iZuma 766]

hahaha poetry room

[DJ Vu 176]

we have a hotel room

Dude.

[Napa Lite 3,281]

Don't listen to them, Essay. You're still not in the clear. Bitches will do anything to save money on a hotel room. Make sure you get a room with two beds so you don't have to sleep on the floor or have the most awkward sleep ever when she ends up banging the DJ after the wedding.

[iZuma 766]

haha

[Essay21 2,387]

Whatever it's not so clear cut when it's your heart on the line.

[Napa Lite 3,281]

No, I'm really on your side homie. I've been on too many (well, not that many) "dates" where I thought it was a date and she did not to where I'd be suspicious if I were you, too.Edit: I think the move is to just get drunk at the wedding and then go for it and if she turns you down just play it off the next day as being wasted.

[iZuma 766]

but seriously, one room? single not double beds?

[iZuma 766]

and yeah, I'm just as suspicious as you guys really. I too know all about the "dates that weren't really dates." that shits the story of my relationship life.

[DJ Vu 176]

No, I'm really on your side homie. I've been on too many (well, not that many) "dates" where I thought it was a date and she did not to where I'd be suspicious if I were you, too.Edit: I think the move is to just get drunk at the wedding and then go for it and if she turns you down just play it off the next day as being wasted.

How many of those "dates" involved hotel rooms?

[Napa Lite 3,281]

Well, none, but the trepidation is still there. Unless you count the one year i brought a date to formal. Although now you reminded me of the times I did share a bed with a friend on various road trips in college, whom I think I actually had a shot with at some point. but since I'm me I didn't even make any sort of attempt.Edit: reading that back I realized I didn't use any pronouns. It was a she. I shared beds with a girl at a few different times. Not dudes. Well, I did share beds with dudes, but that's not what I mean.

[iZuma 766]

hell napa I was in bed with a girl in college who told me "you know, I've never even given a blow job before..." to which I replied "oh really?" and promptly went to sleep.

[Napa Lite 3,281]

Thanks for always being there to help me feel a little less worse about myself, Shakie.

[JubilantLankyLad 1,960]

I have only gone on one date involving a hotel that didn't result in sexytime:

"How do you say?" is a very handy sentence.When I was in highschool in Ontario, we had a senior trip to Quebec city. One of the ones where the tour company recruits a student to sell the trips; if the student can sell x trips, he/she goes for free. There were about a dozen schools involved, all went down to Quebec City for a week over spring break.I didn't go on the trip, but my family went to Mt Ste Anne for the same dates. That's a bloody cold ski hill about an hour or so out of Quebec City. On the first day, the trip kids all came skiing, I met up with them on the hill, made up a story to the tour company co-ordinator that I had lost my ID bracelet that said I was part of the tour, and hopped the bus back to the City for a night of drunken debauchery.There were lots of people who didn't know me on the bus, especially as I hadn't ridden the bus to the hill. One of my friends made a joke that I was a local that one of the girls had picked up; I thought this was brilliant and started speaking French, and English in a thick accent. There was lots of "How do you say this word?, lots of emphasis on the wrong syllable, and lots of horny high school girls who wanted a piece of the hot french guy who didn't speak English. I knew this because they did speak English, frequently about me in front of me, because it was safe; I didn't understand them. Of course, as you may have noticed, I do speak English.By the time we got the hotel, I had zeroed in on one chick, with a couple of backups. We all spilled into the hotel, I made out with her in the elevator, and we agreed to meet at the bar the tour company had arranged a deal in. We separated and I went to my friend's hotel room. By then I was thoroughly in character; I tried to revert to English but couldn't talk without the thick accent, so we headed out to the bar. The bar scene went well, I found the target and her friends, we danced all night (English Ouch didn't dance back then, but French Ouch was frickin John Travolta), and she took me back to the hotel. I thought I was getting some. We head into her room, and there are like eight other girls all hanging around. Turns out they were all sharing the room, and my spirits sank. I mean, how many highschool girls are into the orgy scene? Five, and I don't know any of them.Still, I explain I need to stay with her as I have no way to get back 'home' to Mt Ste Anne. She agrees, the girls allow us to have one of the Queen beds, and we all go to sleep. I count to fifteen, then reach over; her pyjamas are already half off. I am stunned. This chick may not be one of the five, but she is not shy. She slides over, we make out, things progress, and next thing you know, we're making the beast with two backs. I wonder if the rest of the room is sleeping. I decide they are. I'm wrong. One of the other girls moans and says, "Can't you two wait until we're asleep?" Not-shy chick says, "No, but you can join us if you want." I consider changing highshools until jealous girl says No. At that point, discretion was sent to the wind, and the two of us finished with mulitiple pairs of eyes on us. I wondered where their hands were. Nah, I knew.I'm not sure why I think I didn't get enough ass in highschool. I must be greedy.

Oh, that's not the right story at all.

[DJ Vu 176]

I have only gone on one date involving a hotel that didn't result in sexytime:Oh, that's not the right story at all.

looooooooolPretty great story too.