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I Called In Sick Today

turd ferguson

By turd ferguson,
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BigDMcGee

and after 3 days, he is risen!

David_Sklansky

If you are paying $20 for a haircut, I imagine people assume you did it yourself anyway.

AmScray

Pocket change cost me my first and only black girlfriend.   It was in the middle of a roaring poker boom and I was flush in ways most men don't even bother dreaming of. Money, it was like dirt to me

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CaneBrain

CaneBrain 97

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Mmm hm. Those of us with hot girls that have been sending nude pics since they hit puberty need to stick together, amirite?
It's just part of the culture now. Doubt my wife has ever done so but only because she has been dating/married to me for so long.
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Skeleton Jelly

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We're losing sight of the naked picture she sent me. Can we focus on how awesome that is? I mentioned this afternoon that I was meeting Maggie for lunch -- her kid and boyfriend are out of town -- and her response was "look at the picture when you order appetizers and remember ive never given birth."
Ha.
EDIT: Actually, now that I think about it, that's decidedly NOT awesome. How many pictures are already out there? I mean, we've been dating for like 8 days and she's shipping me camera-phone nudes. Oh no...
Does that actually bother you or does that just fake bother you?
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Skeleton Jelly

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I have to disagree...it's going to be so overprinted that it'll be worthless.
I was sort of imagining a world where LG and Wang were in charge of printing and there would only be one of those printed and every sickie would be getting a 3-pack of cards in the mail so everybody would be rushing out to their mailboxes to see if they got that one coveted card and whoever got it would auction it off to highest bidder sparking a sick thread rejuvenation.Maybe all of that wasn't apparent in my post.
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Tactical Bear

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That's a fantastic line. Try not to think about that side of things. It's like when a girl pulls out a great move in the sack...it's better to just enjoy it than to think about the fact that she was taught the move by another guy at some point in her life.If I came up with a fake name I'd just keep forgetting it and having to waste time backtracking to keep things consistent. Maybe I'll just call her VetGirl or something.
In reverse order:.lrig tev reh llac t'nod esaelPPlease don't call her vet girl. That makes me think of, like, bestiality or something. May I suggest Bryn? or Angela?Yeah, there's nothing worse than getting a great beej and thinking, "Yup. This girl's done this a few thousand times before." And, yes, Kayla's my own personal Dorothy Parker.
it's a boxing day miracle!
Shake's been killing it lately.
probably a lot Wang but you will live.
I've got J on call, just in case.
Does that actually bother you or does that just fake bother you?
Probably something like 1/3 ActualBother 2/3 FakeBother. It's more the train of thought that follows. "So Kayla's a bit of an exhibitionist. She doesn't mind getting freaky in a stairwell or a bathroom or a garage or in a car, and she's taking/sending pics, so what are the odds that there won't be a video of her getting hammered posted on WifeBucket or something?
if it is the new pic on the trading cards, it doesn't bother him.
I've got better pictures lined up for Kayra and Maggie. The rest are going to be tougher. I briefly considered posting a picture of me with each girl, but that's... you know, not something I really wanted to do, honestly.
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speedz99

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I was sort of imagining a world where LG and Wang were in charge of printing and there would only be one of those printed and every sickie would be getting a 3-pack of cards in the mail so everybody would be rushing out to their mailboxes to see if they got that one coveted card and whoever got it would auction it off to highest bidder sparking a sick thread rejuvenation.Maybe all of that wasn't apparent in my post.
Oh, I'm ok with that. More than ok, actually.
Please don't call her vet girl. That makes me think of, like, bestiality or something. May I suggest Bryn? or Angela?
Byrn sounds like a stripper, Angela sounds like an asshole. I'll call her Jenn, with the double n for good measure. Is that a safe and unused fake name?
Yeah, there's nothing worse than getting a great beej and thinking, "Yup. This girl's done this a few thousand times before."
Man am I trying my best to hold back from saying something I shouldn't right now. But I can't hold back from saying I'm holding back.
I've got better pictures lined up for Kayra.
Better than her naked? I doubt it.
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El Guapo

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Byrn sounds like a stripper, Angela sounds like an asshole. I'll call her Jenn, with the double n for good measure. Is that a safe and unused fake name?
No. He just had an aborted fetus with Jenny. Too close.
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Skeleton Jelly

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Speaking of rare photos, will there ever be any leaked images from the Beans Protege book that was put together?
I had this big folder with a bunch of sub-folders with everything from images to word documents to rough drafts and, of course, the finished product. I either accidentally deleted it or hid it somewhere where I can't find it. It's possible Wang has a copy of the final product somewhere.Edit: Oh, and vb never got his prize. Initially because Wang said he was going to write a revised forward, but then because of the above.
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speedz99

speedz99 145

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No. He just had an aborted fetus with Jenny. Too close.
Oh yeah. The thing is, I also don't really want to talk about her too much, so a fake name seems almost unnecessary. Then again, sometimes I can't shut myself up...
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Napa Lite

Napa Lite 3,281

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So the cousin of my one of my best friends(who referred me for this job) is pretty cute and I'd always joke with her cousin about how im going to date/marry her and we flirt a little at work(which...writing that it sounds weird, but, she thinks it's funny and it's just a running joke between us and ya). Well I knew her cousin had the same first name as my little sister, which I was willing to look past for jokes sake, but found out a few weeks ago she has the same middle name as my little sister and then it got to be to much and, ya. Somebody mentioned my sisters name earlier and it made me think of it.

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Napa Lite

Napa Lite 3,281

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I had this big folder with a bunch of sub-folders with everything from images to word documents to rough drafts and, of course, the finished product. I either accidentally deleted it or hid it somewhere where I can't find it. It's possible Wang has a copy of the final product somewhere.Edit: Oh, and vb never got his prize. Initially because Wang said he was going to write a revised forward, but then because of the above.
And it all comes full circle. Feel free to just send it to me if you ever find it.
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Napa Lite

Napa Lite 3,281

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I ain't got time to reread my posts. I got this spreadsheet in front of me to stare at and scroll up in down in!Edit: just saw what shake posted I can only assume it's a link about N Portman being pregnant.Edit: Half right! Was wondering why her being preggers would be a deal breaker.

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Skeleton Jelly

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Chris 17 minutes ago Ok,so she met this guy during the making of the movie,maybe a little over a year ago,now she's pregnant,almost 30 and freaking out. Oh man,hope she has this guy sign a pre-nup cuse this thing is DOOMED. Hopefully she'll quit smoking during her pregnancy for the sake of the child. She is a serious chain smoker.Joe blow 1 minute ago Typical Jewbags!Colin 1 minute ago lol mila kunis ate out a pregnant womanThe internet! People!
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