I Called In Sick Today

[dms26 3]

I did when I tought it said, Roosters break up a fight between two rabbis

hahaha that's how I read it at first too, probably because of Mexico always talking about the Jews

[dms26 3]

Fine, you're not a bad person.You didn't really address my friend the rapist (I try to convince him it's a bad thing to do), but that's ok. I see your point.

I skipped most of the debate, but did you compare a rapist to a racist/homophobe?He may be narrowminded but assuming he's never physically harmed or berated a black/gay, I don't see how you can compare the two. I'm not sticking up for the guy, but that's a horrible comparison.

[speedz99 145]

I skipped most of the debate, but did you compare a rapist to a racist/homophobe?He may be narrowminded but assuming he's never physically harmed or berated a black/gay, I don't see how you can compare the two. I'm not sticking up for the guy, but that's a horrible comparison.

I wasn't really comparing the two. I was just trying to explain myself to Renae, that sometimes there can be one aspect to a person that sours you towards them...no matter how great the rest of their personality is. Maybe for one person the line is physically harming someone (i.e. rape)...for me the line is being a bigot.

[zimmer4141 0]

God I am just a mother****ing goddamn terrible poker player. FTOPS 6 handed event.Full Tilt Poker Game #1792737623: FTOPS Event #5 (11292177), Table 255 - 80/160 - No Limit Hold'em - 22:48:57 ET - 2007/02/13Seat 1: Mr_Suited (4,905)Seat 2: KS-RCP (14,320)Seat 3: Zimmer4141 (6,755)Seat 4: davejcbox (9,650)Seat 5: Chesternuts (6,150)Seat 6: lucky1tooth1 (2,952)lucky1tooth1 posts the small blind of 80Mr_Suited posts the big blind of 160The button is in seat #5*** HOLE CARDS ***Dealt to Zimmer4141 [Tc Th]KS-RCP raises to 320Zimmer4141 calls 320davejcbox foldsChesternuts raises to 999lucky1tooth1 foldsMr_Suited foldsKS-RCP foldsZimmer4141 calls 679*** FLOP *** [Qd 7c 8s]Zimmer4141 checksChesternuts bets 1,650Zimmer4141 raises to 5,756, and is all inChesternuts calls 3,501, and is all inZimmer4141 shows [Tc Th]Chesternuts shows [Qc As]Uncalled bet of 605 returned to Zimmer4141*** TURN *** [Qd 7c 8s] [5c]*** RIVER *** [Qd 7c 8s 5c] [Ah]Zimmer4141 shows a pair of TensChesternuts shows two pair, Aces and QueensChesternuts wins the pot (12,860) with two pair, Aces and Queens*** SUMMARY ***Total pot 12,860 | Rake 0Board: [Qd 7c 8s 5c Ah]Seat 1: Mr_Suited (big blind) folded before the FlopSeat 2: KS-RCP folded before the FlopSeat 3: Zimmer4141 showed [Tc Th] and lost with a pair of TensSeat 4: davejcbox didn't bet (folded)Seat 5: Chesternuts (button) showed [Qc As] and won (12,860) with two pair, Aces and QueensSeat 6: lucky1tooth1 (small blind) folded before the Flop

[CardWarfare 4]

*** HOLE CARDS ***Dealt to Zimmer4141 [Tc Th]KS-RCP raises to 320Zimmer4141 calls 320davejcbox foldsChesternuts raises to 999lucky1tooth1 foldsMr_Suited foldsKS-RCP foldsZimmer4141 calls 679

I hate people that do this so much. It just irritates the shit out of me for some reason.

[zimmer4141 0]

I'm just so frustrated right now. I just keep remembering when I could dominate tournaments, and now I just make plays at all the wrong times. The worst part is that sometimes I have no explanation for why I'm making a play that I do, and I make bonehead goddamn plays like the one above.

[GrinderMJ 0]

reraise preflop

[zimmer4141 0]

reraise preflop

Yup. That's what I'm talking about, I don't think I have the testicular fortitude that I used to.

[rocketpoker828 0]

Yup. That's what I'm talking about, I don't think I have the testicular fortitude that I used to.

Must have been the catheter.

[zimmer4141 0]

Must have been the catheter.

It actually might be. Ever since that I haven't had a big tourney finish.

[speedz99 145]

Remember how you used to play NL cash games as if they were tourneys? Are you doing the opposite now?

[Shimmering Wang 1]

Yeah, I went over to a guys house to watch movies once. He was truly awful. Afterwards I sarcastically asked "was it good for you?" and demanded a cigarette. I wish I was making this up.

I really want to sleep with you, but only because I'd likely be terrible in bed. The post-sex conversation would be faaaantastic. You'd try to hurt my feelings by saing something sarcastic like, "Was it good for you?" and I'd respond with something like "I know you are, but what am I?" And then you would debate whether to explain how my retort made no sense, but before you could come to a decision I'd start giggling and say something like "I just had my pee-pee in your vagina! I can't WAIT to tell Speedz and Shake!!"

I knew it. I've decided I would make an exception for you in my e-gayness. I would sleep with you just for the comedic opportunities that would be a direct result of such an unholy union, although you would be my first jew (or part-jew) and therefore my mother's immediate favorite. I'm thinking that after we were done you would mock my inadequacy and I would rail into you for being a total bitch. Most likely over cigarettes, as you mentioned, but I would call them fags...both to demean your silly culture and as a callback to my true e-gay nature.

Yes. All wonderful. Perhaps I have a new and better plan.

Yes, yes it is.

This is not me. Just in case anybody's wondering. Though I am a fan of ducks. Wang

[CardWarfare 4]

I love this so much.

[zimmer4141 0]

Remember how you used to play NL cash games as if they were tourneys? Are you doing the opposite now?

I might be. I play pretty passively in cash games, so I think that's carrying over into my tourney play.

[turd ferguson 1]

I don't believe you've ever said anything to anyone in this thread with the expressed and sole purpose of cutting them down or running them out. Other than Golden, of course.

I ran Idaho out of here pretty well, but other people helped and it wasn't on purpose. You're probably right.

You probably have me beat (pun). I've been as lazy as a [insert race] lately (simile), and as usual I'm a bear (metaphor) until around 3:00 in the afternoon. That doesn't give me much time to flog the dolphin (imagery) even though I'm the most efficient man in the world (hyperbole) when it comes to a little slippity slappity (onomatopoeia). Another problem is that I have to wait for my disapproving cat (anthropomorphism) to be in the other room before choking the chicken (alliteration).Anyways, I've jerked it twice in the last 24 hours. You?

Damn. It's a tie. I was banking on you having sex some time recently.

Let's not forget the Great Gilbertology Incident of 2006.

Oh SNAP, DOG!Now I have a story to tell.

[CardWarfare 4]

This has to be one of the best ones I've seen thus far.(I'm reading these in order, since I have nothing better to do.)

[turd ferguson 1]

I'm not sure exactly how interesting this story will be too many people in this thread, but I feel like telling it. It is very rare for me to be honest with the people in my life or even myself for that matter, and I think this is a good opportunity to do so. There won't be any fake dialogue or situations, and it isn't funny in the goofy sort of way that many of my previous stories have been. That isn't to say that the situation doesn't lend itself to humor, but that isn't the main purpose here. My story starts about a month ago on the day when Jen and I usually celebrate our yearly anniversary. This would be the second. For me the relationship had been in a steady decline. For the most part she didn't have a clue. I don't talk much about how I feel. We woke up that morning and started arguing right away. I hadn't really prepared anything special for the day partly because I didn't care much at that point, and partly because I'm a very lazy person. She was on my case about it, and rightly so. We went to The Green Burrito for lunch. I had the taco salad, and she had the nachos while we discussed our plans for the day. The beef was dry. In the end we decided to head on down to the beach for a while and then eat at a nice Italian place I found online. On the drive back to our house to get ready I began to resent her more and more for various strains she put on my life, the prominent one at the time being that I was broke and the evening would use up the last of the money in my bank account when payday was still a full week away. Of course, being myself I didn't tell her any of this. Instead I just blurted out that I was done with the relationship. Obviously, the money thing wasn't the whole issue, but I won't go into any more detail. It wasn't fun. She had just given me season one of Scrubs along with a really sweet card earlier that morning. I hadn't gotten her anything. By the time we pulled up to the house she was in tears, and I was trying not to get emotional. It comes easy for me usually, and this time was no different. Eventually, I made her get out of the car, and I drove off to watch football and drink beer in a crappy bar with my friend. When I came home later that night I moved out of the master bedroom into a smaller room down stairs. Things were awkward living together, but we were being evicted in a month so we decided to just put up with it until then. We weren't bad tenants or anything, but the owner was dicking us around, and giving the status of our relationship we decided not to contest it. Over the next week I moved all of my things out of the room, which was always a depressing affair. She would cry, and I'd be an emotionless asshole. The downstairs bedroom didn't have a curtain on the window so I moved the mattress I was sleeping on into the closet so the sun wouldn't wake me up in the morning. It turned out to be surprisingly cozy in there. Now ninety percent of all my possessions are in that closet. It's like my own little rat's nest. Two weeks later I received a letter informing me that I was being laid off from my job due to budget cuts. My last day was two weeks later, and they gave me a small severance package. It was pretty poor planning on their part to give me notice though. For the next two weeks I really held true to the principles of this thread. It didn't bother me a whole lot though. I take bad news pretty well. Jen, on the other hand, does not. I didn't tell her, and still haven't, or any of my friends that are close to her. She would feel sorry for me and I don't need that. Plus, she doesn't need another thing to worry about. You see, she discovered that she was pregnant about the same time I found out I was fired. Like I said, she didn't handle it well.Jennifer came into my room drunk as a skunk rambling on about this and that. I was doing my best to ignore her when she broke down in tears and gave me the news. Naturally, I was thrilled, and seeing that she was completely sloshed made me feel even better. I could see right off the bat that she was going to be mature about it. I tried to get her to stop drinking, but she just spewed cliché after cliché and kept downing the shots. It didn't take me long to give up and wait for her to pass out. Things between us were pretty tense for the next week. She wanted to keep the baby for some reason that she couldn't explain to me, and I wanted her to give it up for adoption because neither of us were ready to take care of a baby. For Christ's sake we couldn't even get our own lives in order. She was feeling sorry for herself, and I was my usual asshole self, which didn't help the situation. After about a week of her telling my how bad she had it and me telling her to grow up and deal she miscarried. It's kind of hard to know how to feel when you find out something like that. On one hand I hadn't wanted to keep the kid, and it could only disrupt my already chaotic life, but then again I'm not going to be happy to hear that he/she/it died. Either way I was relieved. That issue resolved, I needed to find a job quickly so I turned to the only thing I could think of that I'm qualified for. I've been talking to an Air Force recruiter, and I'm pretty sure that that's what I'm going to do. In a couple weeks I'll be taking the mental and medical tests. I'd do it sooner, but I have to wait until the weed clears out of my system. It's been about a month since I've smoked. A very long month.My roommates (there was another couple living with Jen and I) moved out of the house this weekend, and I have to be out by Thursday. They got a nice place a few miles away, and Jen moved with them. It was strange helping them move because they kept asking me questions about where I planned on going, and I didn't have the balls to tell them that I was fired and that I'm moving back with my parents until I leave. They don't even know I'm planning on joining. So I sit now on the second story of a very empty house writing about my life for a group of people I vaguely know hoping that nobody from my real life sees this. I'm not drunk, but I'm working on it, and things are looking up. On Friday I'll be at my parents' house, and in a couple months I'll almost certainly be in boot camp in Texas. Hopefully it won't be so bad. I'll be able to see a little bit of the world, and it can't look too bad on my resume. Last week I looked over the jobs available, and so far being a cryptological linguist seems like the best option. If I pass a test they'll send me to Monterey Bay, which isn't too far from home for a couple years after boot camp, and I'll learn another language. That's got to be useful after I get out, and there's a small signing bonus. That's about all I have for now. Thanks for reading if you got this far. Wish me luck.

[XX44466XX 0]

I'm drunk too.Welcome to life.GL amigo.

[strategy 4]

The downstairs bedroom didn't have a curtain on the window so I moved the mattress I was sleeping on into the closet so the sun wouldn't wake me up in the morning. It turned out to be surprisingly cozy in there. Now ninety percent of all my possessions are in that closet. It's like my own little rat's nest.

I love this. I basically lived under my friend's bed my freshman year at KU, I had a sweet setup with my laptop and a ton of pillows and blankets. I guess you could have called it a fort. A fort of limit hold'em.

[turd ferguson 1]

I love this. I basically lived under my friend's bed my freshman year at KU, I had a sweet setup with my laptop and a ton of pillows and blankets. I guess you could have called it a fort. A fort of limit hold'em.

Exactly! Everything is within arm's reach.

[Bizzle 0]

Wish me luck.

NO! I WILL NOT DO WHAT YOU TELL ME TO!It's a good thing this is an internet forum, that line is even more half-hearted being said outloud.Caleb, we've had our ups, our downs, and our orgasms. Well, it was typically you and not me. Can I please be the top, just one time?In all seriousness, you've got a large group of people here who are going to stand behind you and support anything you do, and most of them are here if you ever need them for pretty much anything.If I had to give you one piece of advice it would be this. Figure out what it is that makes you happiest. Then figure out what you need to do to be able to have that as much as possible, while keeping a semblance of balance in your life. Proceed from there.

[LadyGrey 8]

Exactly! Everything is within arm's reach.

I also did this sort of thing when I was about 6 and was on the top bunk of a bunk bed. Sometimes (we're talking 2 or 3 times that year) I was too lazy to climb down the ladder to pee. I just wet myself then realised I had to clean it up so I had to get up anyway. That was dumb, but I still kinda wish it had dripped through onto my sister once or twice. Also I used to make her peek out from the bottom bunk, then try to spit down onto her face.Anyway, as for the all in arms reach bit, I used to have about 5 teddies, a book, a box of tissues, a walkman and cassettes and various other objects meticulously arranged around my pillow so that my favourite/practical things were always available in bed. The tissues were fairly redundant though, as I frequently picked my nose and wiped it on the wall instead of a tissue, resulting in the name "The Bogey Gallery" for my wall, which I announced with pride to anyone receiving a tour of the room. The bunks were fun sometimes. My sister and I used to pretend we had a radio there and one of us would 'tune it' (i.e. yell "Switch!") while the other provided the radio entertainment. The most popular channel was "Kiddies Korner" which had it's own theme song, but occasionally I would jokingly start a suggestive radio play about people in a hot tub and my sister would cruelly wait till I was incredibly uncomfortable before changing channels. Remember though that I was 6 at the time and unaware of how babies were made, so it never got dirty, but it was still awkward for me to describe just a couple in a hot tub kissing.

[ajs510 122]

Wow, that's a whole lot of truth and soul in one post. Thanks for sharing. The military is the last place in the world that you'll want to be if you have issues with authority, being told what to do and how to do it, or being treated with anything less than the Golden Rule of "do onto others". You will be expected to fit in like a round peg in a round hole at all times, no exceptions. Just be sure you're ready to live that way for 3-4 years before you sign anything. Joining up because you think there aren't options is a bad idea, but it doesn't seem like that's the mindset you're going into it with. For the rest, I've been there, and I feel ya. You can always PM me if you need to vent or if you need advice, I make a pretty good non-judgemental sounding board. Keep your head up, there's nothing that won't shake itself out.

[IQCrash 1]

That's about all I have for now. Thanks for reading if you got this far. Wish me luck.

There's no better motivator than mysery. I don't know you much at all, but I wanted to wish you the best of luck right now.And now I have a story to tell, too.

[turd ferguson 1]

NO! I WILL NOT DO WHAT YOU TELL ME TO!It's a good thing this is an internet forum, that line is even more half-hearted being said outloud.Caleb, we've had our ups, our downs, and our orgasms. Well, it was typically you and not me. Can I please be the top, just one time?In all seriousness, you've got a large group of people here who are going to stand behind you and support anything you do, and most of them are here if you ever need them for pretty much anything.If I had to give you one piece of advice it would be this. Figure out what it is that makes you happiest. Then figure out what you need to do to be able to have that as much as possible, while keeping a semblance of balance in your life. Proceed from there.

I was convinced that I was on your ignore list. It's good to hear from you, but there's no way you can be on top. We've discussed this. You just aren't ready for it. That's good advice, but I've got money constraints to deal with. I think the military won't be half bad though. It will be nice to meet some new folks and travel a bit.

I also did this sort of thing when I was about 6 and was on the top bunk of a bunk bed. Sometimes (we're talking 2 or 3 times that year) I was too lazy to climb down the ladder to pee. I just wet myself then realised I had to clean it up so I had to get up anyway. That was dumb, but I still kinda wish it had dripped through onto my sister once or twice. Also I used to make her peek out from the bottom bunk, then try to spit down onto her face.Anyway, as for the all in arms reach bit, I used to have about 5 teddies, a book, a box of tissues, a walkman and cassettes and various other objects meticulously arranged around my pillow so that my favourite/practical things were always available in bed. The tissues were fairly redundant though, as I frequently picked my nose and wiped it on the wall instead of a tissue, resulting in the name "The Bogey Gallery" for my wall, which I announced with pride to anyone receiving a tour of the room. The bunks were fun sometimes. My sister and I used to pretend we had a radio there and one of us would 'tune it' (i.e. yell "Switch!") while the other provided the radio entertainment. The most popular channel was "Kiddies Korner" which had it's own theme song, but occasionally I would jokingly start a suggestive radio play about people in a hot tub and my sister would cruelly wait till I was incredibly uncomfortable before changing channels. Remember though that I was 6 at the time and unaware of how babies were made, so it never got dirty, but it was still awkward for me to describe just a couple in a hot tub kissing.

What are you doing up so early, and why are you so very strange?