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I Called In Sick Today


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Thanks speedzy bear.

 

And tilty, she had said and I did tell you guys awhile back that she wants to take it slow because of the last guy. Real douche apparently.

 

Believe me I'm all for being understanding, but at some point if she isn't willing to try then its never gonna happen. That point is getting here and we will know one way or the other over the next 6 weeks I'd say. But I think it looks positive right now.

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and after 3 days, he is risen!

If you are paying $20 for a haircut, I imagine people assume you did it yourself anyway.

Pocket change cost me my first and only black girlfriend.   It was in the middle of a roaring poker boom and I was flush in ways most men don't even bother dreaming of. Money, it was like dirt to me

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yeah I never have either. I could see maybe an auto body shop or some shit, but any regular company? no, that's weird. that's not how adults act. ain't that right suited you fucking faggot?

 

This was really funny. And correct.

 

 

By the way, I'm currently at 3 months with no weed.

 

Rage?

 

 

I went purple roses and she was super happy about that because she feels red roses are cliche.

 

Purple means "I'm falling in love with you."

 

 

Only condition is that she isn't going

 

I'm sorry, but this legit made me laugh out loud.

 

 

Although who the hell knows about whiskers, his range of possibilities is about 120-300.

 

I'm pretty ripped.

 

 

 

I like that we all had to put our heads together to figure out Theraflu's steak problem. Let's see, one takes longer to cook...how do I make it so they come out at the same time???

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I'm not brainwashed about anything. I dont like smoking stuff. Never had a lit cig in my mouth, ever. Hate the smell of weed and just have zero urge.

 

BRAINWASHED!

 

We need a good hypothetical - where the bleep is whiskers?

 

In the computer. I've accepted that some of you might be real, but not him.

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Sex massage lady?

 

But of your choices, I'd go chef. I could eat healthier that way and with much better food. Assuming I don't have to buy the ingredients.

 

I feel like that's a bad assumption. I mean, now you're getting services and saving thousands of dollars on groceries. That doesn't make it very comparable. But hey, it's your hypothetical, so have at it.

 

Also, let's say prostitute is on the list of eligible services. Would you really choose that? I think that would hurt your chances with the lady. "Oh, I can't go out that night, that's my prostitute night."

 

I'd probably choose the maid because fuck cleaning. A sexy french maid.

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Why would I tell her if I'm getting a sex massage?

 

But let's leave that out of the equation and consider the chef. If I have to buy the food I won't go chef because I can't afford good food anyway and I. An prepare the shit I eat. So maybe I'd go maid too. Not having to clean my bathroom wood be nice.

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How's she look? Nah, I know the answer. If she was hot, nobody would cany about her. Life is so unfair like that.

 

Oh well, fire away. She earned it.

 

 

 

HGTV

Salvage

Des Moines

Church

Blond

 

I have no idea why you thought of me.

 

Oh yeah, looks like she has big tits? That would be it. Hair is awful. Fried. Tell her to see a professional.

 

Thanks Beans, I'm fired up for my trip now. Actually, I enjoy a regiment. I hate having no plan for a day when it involves friends. I wanna know that we're meeting at 7 for dinner or whatever. Don't call me at 6:30 and ask If I wanna do dinner and drinks. Chances are I've already had dinner In Vegas, I don't plan a ton, but maybe an event or two. A show, a Hoover Dam trip, whatever. Gotta have an idea of a plan. C'MON.

 

It really wasn't about her looks at all. It was more about Does Moines, me knowing someone on a show you could actually watch on TV in Florida, and you watching more random TV than anyone I know times 3.

 

You owned a DQ and all of your employees were high school girls. Want to try again?

 

I'm sure it happened, due to the age of the college girls, but I never saw it. Everyone got along really well.

 

Napa, did you ever see any drama?

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Why would I tell her if I'm getting a sex massage?

 

Not having to clean my bathroom wood be nice.

 

Because you're an open and honest guy who doesn't want to sabotage his relationship from the beginning.

 

lol

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I don't trust anyone to clean my bathroom well enough, so maid is out. I wouldn't want to spend thousands a month on groceries, so chef is out. I love driving, so that's out.

 

I guess I'm stuck with gardener. I hope my 'gardener' loves shoveling snow.

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I feel like within context, that the chauffeur would be driving your personal car... which would suck.

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You can go off the board; I was just trying to give you a general idea.

 

Maybe a personal trainer?

 

I would definitely go personal trainer over gardener.

 

BUT I DONT APPRECIATE THE IMPLICATION!

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If you won some contest where the prize was personal services for one year, what would you choose? The options could be things like chef, maid, chauffeur, gardener...that sort of thing.

 

I'd go personal assistant. Schedule, bills, taxes, travel arrangements, general organization, etc.

 

If I have to buy the food I won't go chef because I can't afford good food anyway.

 

I think you guys are missing out on the fact that a chef will be able to cook great meals without tons of money. I mean, you need to be able to afford more than a box of mac & cheese, but you don't need to be buying steak every night.

 

I'm liking this option more and more, since it would be nice to have solid lunches packed as well. The amount of time saved on grocery shopping and preparing all the meals of the day is pretty significant.

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If I went with a personal assistant, I think I'd enjoy having her call my friends for me.

 

"Hello?"

"Hello, this is speedz' personal assistant, Natasha. Do you have time to take a call?"

"Uh, sure."

"Please hold for speedz."

"..."

"I'm sorry, speedz is unavailable. Good day."

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