I Called In Sick Today

[leftygolfer 7]

You should've been unoriginal and broke out some 40 Year Old Virgin references. "...but I will haunt your dreams"

I keep my unoriginal comments for here.

no work today?

He took the day off to get waxed. MK is in town.

[jeff_536 3]

For-e-ver.You'll get nothing and like it.I'm drinking a whiskey and ginger ale...I feel like both are supposed to be good for you when you're sick, so the combo must be LIQUID GOLD.

How very Canadian of you. Rye and ginger is kinda the national drink up here.

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

no work today?

I told my parents a while back that I'd drive them and my aunt and uncle to Miami today. They are going on a two week cruise, finishing up in LG's home country. Upside: They left me a credit card just in case one of their cats got sick, so I'll order hookers on it insteadDownside: I have to watch their cats for 14 days, which involves cleaning litter boxes, feeding, cleaning up puke, etc.

He took the day off to get waxed. MK is in town.

oddly enough, I did some manscaping this weekend. I have his number, have been in contact (via text) and know what hotel he's at. I'm going to try to see if he wants to do a lunch. We'll see.

[Sal Paradise 57]

ddly enough, I did some manscaping this weekend. I have his number, have been in contact (via text) and know what hotel he's at. I'm going to try to see if he wants to do a lunch. We'll see.

actually I talked to him and I think something came up and he won't be able to make it. too bad really.

[leftygolfer 7]

actually I talked to him and I think something came up and he won't be able to make it. too bad really.

[Ron_Mexico 4,219]

actually I talked to him and I think something came up and he won't be able to make it. too bad really.

:phewdodgedanotherbullet:I texted him last night just to find out what hotel he was at so I could work some directions up today and he immediately started with the excuses. "Hey buddy, we're hanging with her friends tonight, no can do" as if I was trying to come down right away. Although, upon consideration, what, I can't mingle with her friends as well? I'm not good enough? That's bullshit.I may just not meet up so we can keep the joke of never meeting each other going.

[speedz99 145]

Speedz, get laid already.

I actually did recently, a number of times. But don't spread the word, I prefer complaining about never getting laid.

Was out to dinner last night and at the table next to us was the sex therapist from Boston Legal. Apparently her mother lives in town here:

All the amazing work she's done, and you pick Boston Legal. Boo-urns.

[strategy's_touch 0]

Next time you go, just go to museums. Don't go anywhere else.I don't think he has swine flu... I think it's more along the lines of being annoyed at Strat and LG constantly and unreasonably defending each other, even when the joking is just light hearted. But it might be swine flu.

speedz was being unfunny and annoying. I pointed it out. no irrational defense, just stating the obvious. it's out of character for him. can't really say the same for you.

[DMBroller 0]

She's even funny in commercials.

[Tactical Bear 3]

Swagger's still solid. I thought the first date didn't go well because a bunch of my friends showed up to the restaurant/bar smashed, so I didn't really expect a second date. The fact that she actually thought it was funny made me like her even more, so we've been hanging out. She's a bombass girl, but given my relationship history I predict we're not talking due to me being an ******* in under 3 months. You can only fake it so long.Dammit I've gone Wang, what the hell has happened to me?

Time to do work, son. Bradburn, you're, what, 22? Maybe 23? You should definitely see how long you can fake it, and alternately "keep it real" by splicing in some hardcore JBrad action, just to keep her on her toes (i.e., make sure the relationship can never, ever succeed).Man, there were some cranky motherfuckers in here last night/this morning, though none of you approached my recent and embarrassing decision to lash out at Chrozzo and make fun of him for having a fatal illness. That was probably uncalled for. What do you think? Maybe?

[speedz99 145]

speedz was being unfunny and annoying. I pointed it out. no irrational defense, just stating the obvious.

No, see, this is the thing. You have no business saying something like that.1. What the fuck? Who says that around here? Really, who the fuck would ever say to another regular poster, "You're being unfunny and annoying." Nobody...except you, I guess. What the hell is wrong with you? 2. I don't care why it is that you've become irrationally defensive about all things mojo, but get it the hell out of my house (let's not pretend that your comment wasn't preceded by getting fired up over my (harmless) posts aimed at the two of you). Not only can she take care of herself, but she's much, much better than you at recognizing when it would be unnecessary to become six shades of bitchy over totally benign comments. 3. Apparently you can't tell the difference between trying to actually be funny and just saying anything because I have nothing better to do and it beats silence around here. I know when I'm not being funny. I know it better than you do. Other people know it too, also better than you. If everyone around here needed to be told when they were being unfunny, it would be a much longer thread. As for being annoying, go fuck yourself. How many times did I need to say that I was sick and had nothing better to do than try to keep the conversation going around here? Everyone else seemed to be ok with it, so I'm not sure why you were so annoyed. I'm pretty sure the problem here is with you, young strat. Maybe you should just tell us why you were so easily upset by my performance yesterday...as easy as it would be to just keep repeating that I was unfunny and annoying, try thinking about what it is in your life that's making you so quick to collect sand in your vageen.

[speedz99 145]

Man, there were some cranky motherfuckers in here last night/this morning, though none of you approached my recent and embarrassing decision to lash out at Chrozzo and make fun of him for having a fatal illness. That was probably uncalled for. What do you think? Maybe?

Nah, that was funny...like rigging a deaf guy's horn to constantly beep while he's driving.

[strategy's_touch 0]

I see I've really upset you, speedz. sorry bud.

[speedz99 145]

Apology accepted.

[Piddle Duck 0]

*peeks in*okay, I am going to step back out for a few more days...feel better speedz

[Tactical Bear 3]

As an outsider totally uninvolved in yesterdays goings-on, I want to say two things:1) I appreciate Speedz's nonsense, both as a general rule, and yesterday specifically.2) I have no problem with Jeff calling Speedz out, as it led to a little more action around here, and I had nothing better to do than read Speedz's "I am sick, apparently with a disease that turns me into a fire-breathing dragon when I am provoked" responses. I'd like to emphasize that, in this instance, my approval is based solely on self-interest, and not a judgment as to the rationality or moral culpability of Speedz's or Jeff's actions. Wang OUT.

[speedz99 145]

Thank you.

[Sal Paradise 57]

Man, there were some cranky motherfuckers in here last night/this morning, though none of you approached my recent and embarrassing decision to lash out at Chrozzo and make fun of him for having a fatal illness. That was probably uncalled for. What do you think? Maybe?

I found it to be quite hilarious. if you can't make fun of somebody dying, what can you make fun of?

No, see, this is the thing. You have no business saying something like that.1. What the fuck? Who says that around here? Really, who the fuck would ever say to another regular poster, "You're being unfunny and annoying." Nobody...except you, I guess. What the hell is wrong with you? 2. I don't care why it is that you've become irrationally defensive about all things mojo, but get it the hell out of my house (let's not pretend that your comment wasn't preceded by getting fired up over my (harmless) posts aimed at the two of you). Not only can she take care of herself, but she's much, much better than you at recognizing when it would be unnecessary to become six shades of bitchy over totally benign comments. 3. Apparently you can't tell the difference between trying to actually be funny and just saying anything because I have nothing better to do and it beats silence around here. I know when I'm not being funny. I know it better than you do. Other people know it too, also better than you. If everyone around here needed to be told when they were being unfunny, it would be a much longer thread. As for being annoying, go fuck yourself. How many times did I need to say that I was sick and had nothing better to do than try to keep the conversation going around here? Everyone else seemed to be ok with it, so I'm not sure why you were so annoyed. I'm pretty sure the problem here is with you, young strat. Maybe you should just tell us why you were so easily upset by my performance yesterday...as easy as it would be to just keep repeating that I was unfunny and annoying, try thinking about what it is in your life that's making you so quick to collect sand in your vageen.

so you say last nights family guy was pretty good huh? I'll try to find it.

[JubilantLankyLad 1,957]

Next time you go, just go to museums. Don't go anywhere else.I don't think he has swine flu... I think it's more along the lines of being annoyed at Strat and LG constantly and unreasonably defending each other, even when the joking is just light hearted. But it might be swine flu.

[comment deleted]

Time to do work, son. Bradburn, you're, what, 22? Maybe 23? You should definitely see how long you can fake it, and alternately "keep it real" by splicing in some hardcore JBrad action, just to keep her on her toes (i.e., make sure the relationship can never, ever succeed).Man, there were some cranky motherfuckers in here last night/this morning, though none of you approached my recent and embarrassing decision to lash out at Chrozzo and make fun of him for having a fatal illness. That was probably uncalled for. What do you think? Maybe?

[comment deleted]backs away slowly - don't make eye contact, don't make eye contact

[Piddle Duck 0]

I found it to be quite hilarious. if you can't make fun of somebody dying, what can you make fun of?

Link? I can't find it and I want to see it.

[speedz99 145]

*peeks in*okay, I am going to step back out for a few more days...

so you say last nights family guy was pretty good huh? I'll try to find it.

[comment deleted][comment deleted]backs away slowly - don't make eye contact, don't make eye contact

I find you all to be unfunny and annoying.Ok, I think I'm going to venture out of the house for the first time in a few days. A round of golf in the sun will do me some good.

[El Guapo 8]

I see I've really upset you, speedz. sorry bud.

Apology accepted.

What? That's it? Booooo BooooooooThat had the the right formula to be something great and both of you shit all over it.

[loogie 115]

Speedz, you go ahead and rage all you want. Just be sure to color it green and size it to 7. I like 9 exclamation points.My breakfast of champions: 4 crunchy tacos from Taco Bell, a grande black eye (2 shot espresso in coffee) from Starbucks, and weed dispersed in one-hit portions.This fuel is going to assist me in recording musical radio spots today. I will be working on Acid Pro with a PC (oh god!), a $15 microphone (oh garble!), a one-note Casio keyboard that's older than JBrad (oh yes!), iPod earbuds (oh ouch!), and my Takamine G-Series acoustic/electric guitar (shred!).I'm going to need more weed.

[JubilantLankyLad 1,957]

Loogie - can you use your hollywood contacts to get the raw footage from this so it can be edited into a less migrane-inducing video? Speedz - just to show there are no hard feelings, there's a new chick on guesshermuff.com today that was apparently added just for you. WARNING: not the one with the 'wedding picture' link.

[leftygolfer 7]

All the amazing work she's done, and you pick Boston Legal. Boo-urns.

She does like the ladies...

I found it to be quite hilarious. if you can't make fun of somebody dying, what can you make fun of?

over-worked, underpaid, people in Virginia

I find you all to be unfunny and annoying.Ok, I think I'm going to venture out of the house for the first time in a few days. A round of golf in the sun will do me some good.

Sig worthy. HIGH FIVE!!!Last night at dinner the wife makes a comment about our gay* dogs. The other couple we were with has a 24 year old gay son.Other woman: Did I tell you that our son (Jeff) is coming back from Seatle and going to U of Chicago to get a Masters?Lefty: ...Lefty's wife: Really, what is he studying?Lefty to the other woman's husband: So how about them Bulls?*Our dog Bob, the Yorkie, is named after Bobby Trendy, Anna Nicole's designer. Bob is bowlegged.