Jump to content

I Called In Sick Today


Recommended Posts

  • Replies 268k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

  • Ron_Mexico

    19414

  • speedz99

    16304

  • Napa Lite

    7767

  • ShakeZuma

    7517

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Posts

and after 3 days, he is risen!

If you are paying $20 for a haircut, I imagine people assume you did it yourself anyway.

Pocket change cost me my first and only black girlfriend.   It was in the middle of a roaring poker boom and I was flush in ways most men don't even bother dreaming of. Money, it was like dirt to me

Posted Images

True story. Good job folks.Not in the least. It's just like when my dear, sweet, old grandfather asks me to come over and sit on his hand. It's all very charming. Ok, sandwich time from Subway. Suggestions?
Subway Melt. No diggity.
Link to post
Share on other sites
True story. Good job folks.Not in the least. It's just like when my dear, sweet, old grandfather asks me to come over and sit on his hand. It's all very charming. Ok, sandwich time from Subway. Suggestions?
I'd go with their Steak and cheese, double meat it up, green peppers, hot peppers, onions, pickles and extra mayo. Thats just me. In fact...
Link to post
Share on other sites
Sorry. I'll wash the sheets.
Got that covered. Anyone know how to wash a mattress? (I asked this a while back, I've had some mattress issues before). My first attempt was using a hose, which made it slightly better. I might just have to break down and make this girl buy me a new one. She left a ring and earrings at my house which look expensive, so I think I can bribe her for it or pawn her stuff.
Link to post
Share on other sites
Subway Melt. No diggity.
What sort of meat is in that one?
I'd go with their Steak and cheese, double meat it up, green peppers, hot peppers, onions, pickles and extra mayo. Thats just me. In fact...
Double meat on the steak and cheese? Seriously? It already comes with enough to overflow the sandwich. And extra mayo too? Jesus H, man. How the hell did you lose that weight? Those low fat yogurts must work wonders.
Link to post
Share on other sites
Ok, sandwich time from Subway. Suggestions?
turkey on wheat, pepper jack or another white cheese, spicy mustard, spinach(sans e. coli), onion, bell pepper, tomato, a little jalapeno.a staple of my pre-wedding diet.
Link to post
Share on other sites
Got that covered. Anyone know how to wash a mattress? (I asked this a while back, I've had some mattress issues before). My first attempt was using a hose, which made it slightly better. I might just have to break down and make this girl buy me a new one. She left a ring and earrings at my house which look expensive, so I think I can bribe her for it or pawn her stuff.
Febreeze the fuck out of it and flip it, other than that I've got nuthin.*Edit* Oh, and if you tagged a girl that was too young or too wasted not to wet the bed, be happy you're only getting off with a dirty mattress. Let that particular sleeping dog lie.
Link to post
Share on other sites
What sort of meat is in that one? Double meat on the steak and cheese? Seriously? It already comes with enough to overflow the sandwich. And extra mayo too? Jesus H, man. How the hell did you lose that weight? Those low fat yogurts must work wonders.
Submay Melt: turkey, ham and bacon. I suggest American cheese as well.Ron, I can hear your arteries screaming from here.
Link to post
Share on other sites
Got that covered. Anyone know how to wash a mattress? (I asked this a while back, I've had some mattress issues before). My first attempt was using a hose, which made it slightly better. I might just have to break down and make this girl buy me a new one. She left a ring and earrings at my house which look expensive, so I think I can bribe her for it or pawn her stuff.
You sir, make me speechless
Double meat on the steak and cheese? Seriously? It already comes with enough to overflow the sandwich. And extra mayo too? Jesus H, man. How the hell did you lose that weight? Those low fat yogurts must work wonders.
they barely throw any meat onto their steak and cheese. As far as the extra mayo, it just depends on the squirter, sometimes they just do a drive by, sometimes they squeeze hard. I like a tad extra, not gobs and gobs of it. FYP if you must, but I made it easy.As far as losing weight, I avoided food like this like the plague.
turkey on wheat, pepper jack or another white cheese, spicy mustard, spinach(sans e. coli), onion, bell pepper, tomato, a little jalapeno.a staple of my pre-wedding diet.
sure you didn't marry a man? Fag.
Link to post
Share on other sites
Got that covered. Anyone know how to wash a mattress? (I asked this a while back, I've had some mattress issues before). My first attempt was using a hose, which made it slightly better. I might just have to break down and make this girl buy me a new one. She left a ring and earrings at my house which look expensive, so I think I can bribe her for it or pawn her stuff.
Groooooooss.Quit hanging out with girls who aren't potty trained yet. Baking soda made into a paste then spread on the stain. Let it dry then use your vacuum on it.I don't know for sure if that will work but I heard it somewhere. Should at least get rid of the smell if nothing else.
Link to post
Share on other sites
Ron, I can hear your arteries screaming from here.
thats nothing, this local place we got delivery from back in 1999 had a ridiculous sandwich. Lemme see if I can remember what it had. I ordered it on a bet and actually liked it.it was an 8oz hamburger with:cheesemayohamfried eggbaconoh yeah, and veggies.Its amazing I haven't had a heart attack by 34. (I normally don't eat that bad, but I had to give that one a try on a dare)
Link to post
Share on other sites
thats nothing, this local place we got delivery from back in 1999 had a ridiculous sandwich. Lemme see if I can remember what it had. I ordered it on a bet and actually liked it.it was an 8oz hamburger with:cheesemayohamfried eggbaconoh yeah, and veggies.Its amazing I haven't had a heart attack by 34. (I normally don't eat that bad, but I had to give that one a try on a dare)
Christ, and I thought those buffalo chicken subs I used to order were bad. 5 buffalo chicken strips on italian bread with extra mozzerella and a ton of bleu cheese and ranch dressing. Likewise on the heart attack thing, I deserve to be dead at this point.
Link to post
Share on other sites
The first rule of survivial pool is don't talk about survival pool
Um....ok.
Christ, and I thought those buffalo chicken subs I used to order were bad. 5 buffalo chicken strips on italian bread with extra mozzerella and a ton of bleu cheese and ranch dressing.
Any talk of a heart attack on a plate should start and end with a garbage plate. Just ask Lori.
Link to post
Share on other sites
Bah. I don't eat pig.
True story.I went in Subway one day and the girl in front of me was talking on her cell phone while the sandwich artist tried to get her order which is annoying enough as it is. Besides that, she was one of those really loud, long bright fingernails, huge earrings, fake Gucci bag, talking really loud and rolling her head kind of girls. The kind of girl TBG would lick the shoes of. Anyway, she ordered an Italian BMT (ham, salami, and pepperoni). The exchange went something like this:Queen Latifah: I want a BMT (into the phone: hang on girl I's gettin me a sammich) but I don't eat pork so can I get roast beef instead of ham?Subway Sandwich Artist (they really are you know): I don't think I can do that substitution.QL: But I don't eat no pork. SSA: So you want a roast beef sandwich?QL: (into the phone: I know, girl, I know. Hang on.) No just give me the Italian BMT but leave the ham off.SSA: So you want the salami and pepperoni?QL: Yeah, I just don't eat pork.The guy behind me and I looked at each other and almost lost it right there.I should have kicked her in the head like I had the urge to do.
Link to post
Share on other sites
Um....ok.Any talk of a heart attack on a plate should start and end with a garbage plate. Just ask Lori.
an 8 ball of pure china white all cut out into lines on a silver platter?
Link to post
Share on other sites
Yeah, but bacon tastes goooooood, pork chops taste gooooooood.
So what you're saying is, if a pig had more personality, it'd cease being a filthy animal.
thats nothing, this local place we got delivery from back in 1999 had a ridiculous sandwich. Lemme see if I can remember what it had. I ordered it on a bet and actually liked it.it was an 8oz hamburger with:cheesemayohamfried eggbaconoh yeah, and veggies.Its amazing I haven't had a heart attack by 34. (I normally don't eat that bad, but I had to give that one a try on a dare)
That is a tasty burger.Ok, I've shot my Pulp Fiction wad for the day. Maybe.
Link to post
Share on other sites
SSA: So you want the salami and pepperoni?QL: Yeah, I just don't eat pork.The guy behind me and I looked at each other and almost lost it right there.
Literally LOL'd, nice. People are completely retarded sometimes.
Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

Announcements


×
×
  • Create New...